Sensitive Messages. Includes material from Guffey text Ch 11. Discussion . Share a time you received bad news in writing. What did you like and dislike about the method used?. Goals in Communicating Bad News. To make the reader understand and accept the bad news
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Includes material from Guffey text Ch 11
CloseThe Indirect Pattern
To ensure that your correspondence goes out with the last pickup, we’re starting a new messenger pickup service at 2:30pm
The Kiwanas have my sincere admiration for their fundraising projects on behalf of hungry children, I am honored that you asked me to speak…. (avoid raising false hopes)
I appreciated learning about your qualifications during our interview. [note: avoid thanking the reader for something you are about to refuse]
We both realize how much the export business has been affected by the relative strength of the dollar in the past two years.
During the past five years the number of employees eating breakfast I our cafeteria has dropped from 32% to 12%.
We know that you expect superior performance from all the products you purchase from Office City.
We’re genuinely sorry you were disappointed in the quality of the ice cream you recently purchased at Amy’s. Your opinion is important to us, and we appreciate your giving us the opportunity to look into the problem you describe.
Rewrite these sentences in passive voice:
While/Although (bad news in passive voice), (alternative in active voice)
Rewrite subordinating the bad news:
Because/Since (reason in passive voice), (alternative in active voice).
Rewrite implying the bad news:
Rewrite implying the bad news:
TO: David Walters
FROM: Bob Goof
SUBJECT: Your request
Unfortunately, we cannot permit you to apply the lease payments you’ve been making for the past ten months toward the purchase of your Sako 600 copier.
Company policy does not allow such conversion. Have you ever wondered why we can offer such low leasing and purchase prices? Obviously , we couldn’t stay in business long if we agreed to proposals such as yours.
You’ve had the Sako 600 copier for ten months now, and you say you like its versatility and reliability. Perhaps we could interest you in another Sako model; one that’s more within your price range.
Do give us a call.
We’re happy to learn that you are enjoying the use of the Sako copier you’ve been leasing for the past ten months. Like our many other customers, you have discovered that Sako copiers offer remarkable versatility and reliability.
One of the reasons we’re able to offer these outstanding copiers at such low leasing rates and equally low purchase prices is that we maintain a slim profit margin. A provision for applying lease payments toward the purchase price would result in an increase in overall prices. Although lease payments cannot be credited toward purchase price, we can offer you other Sako models that are within your price range. The Sako 400 delivers the same reliability with nearly as many features as the Sako 600.
Please let us demonstrate the Sako 400 to your staff in your office. Our representative, Tracy Wilson, will call you soon to arrange a time.
We look forward to your continued business.
DATE: 10/16/04 Sako copier you’ve been leasing for the past ten months. Like our many other customers, you have discovered that Sako copiers offer remarkable versatility and reliability.
MEMO TO: Staff
Beginning January 1 your monthly payment for healthcare benefits will be increased from $42 to $109.
Every year healthcare costs go up. Although we considered dropping other benefits, Midland decided that the best plan was to keep the present comprehensive package. Unfortunately, we can’t do that unless we pass along some of the extra cost to you. Last year the company was forced to absorb the total increase in healthcare premiums. However, such a plan this year is inadvisable.
We did everything possible to avoid the sharp increase in costs to you this year. A rate schedule describing the increases in payments for your family and dependents is enclosed.
1. What is the purpose of the previous letter? What goals should the sender have?
2. What prevents this letter from achieving those goals?
3. What pattern of development would work best for this letter? Has it been followed?
4. What idea could be used as a buffer to open an improved version of this letter? Write a buffer.
5. How could the bad news be subordinated? Write a statement that subordinates the bad news.
6. What friendly news could be used in the closing? Write a closing statement.
Healthcare programs have always been an important part of our commitment to employees at Midland, Inc. We’re proud that our total benefits package continues to rank among the best in the country.
Such a comprehensive package does not come cheaply. In the last decade healthcare costs alone have risen over 300 percent. We’re told that several factors fuel the cost spiral: inflation, technology improvements, increased cost of outpatient services, and “defensive” medicine practiced by doctors to prevent lawsuits.
Just two years ago our monthly healthcare cost for each employee was $415. It rose to $469 last year. We were able to absorb that jump without increasing your contribution. This year, monthly healthcare costs increased to $539 per employee. Although maintaining current healthcare benefits will now cost employees $109 per month, Midland continues to pay the major portion of your healthcare program ($430 each month). The enclosed rate schedule describes the costs for families and dependents.
We will begin to investigate alternatives to allow us to manage healthcare costs more aggressively in the future. We believe in continuing to invest both time and money into the good health of Midland’s employees.
The End our commitment to employees at Midland, Inc. We’re proud that our total benefits package continues to rank among the best in the country.