Ethics & Etiquette

Ethics & Etiquette To be your best…

Past Experiences • Think of situations that have been uncomfortable for you or for others • Was it awkward? • Was it stressful? • Were expectations unclear? • Strong ethics help you understand your values and know yourself • Basic etiquette will make you more self-assured so that you can be prepared • You will gain confidence as you learn how to act and react

Ethics in America • Cheating in the public schools and colleges continues to rise • Corporations value their executives (salaries and bonuses) more than customers or the environment • Doctors continue to provide better care and treatment options to those who have insurance or can afford to pay • Major political parties spinning nearly everything to make a story and skew opinions

What are Ethics? • The rules by which one conducts him- or herself • It’s what you believe • It’s how you react when your beliefs are challenged • Ethics are constructed over time from • Your parents • Your culture • Your religion • Your education • Your friends • Ethics are your measuring stick for right and wrong

What is Happening? • Changing values • Changing expectations • Changing attitudes • Difference in opinion of what’s “right” and what’s “wrong”

What is your highest aspiration? • Is your goal to achieve? • Popularity • Knowledge • Fame • Integrity • Wealth

Integrity • If your highest aspiration is anything but integrity, you will make compromises to get there. • Integrity is defined as: • “adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty” – Dictionary.com • “firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values” – Merriam Webster

What Can You Do? • Know your values • Know your beliefs • Know where your boundaries are • Know where your line is between right and wrong • Ask yourself what you are willing to accept and still be able to maintain your integrity.

On etiquette, of course… A Short Quiz

When you greet someone in your office, you • Tell him or her where to sit • Offer him or her your seat • Tell him or her to sit any where • Say nothing about where to sit • Tell him or her where to sit

When you come into another’s office, you • Sit in the chair nearest the door • Sit in the chair nearest the other person • Ask where to sit • Remain standing until told where to sit • Remain standing until told where to sit

When greeting someone, when do you shake hands? • Immediately • As soon as he or she returns eye contact • When introduced • As the other person initiates the handshake • When introduced

You forgot a meeting with someone, you • Be quiet and hope the person forgot as well • Send flowers immediately • Call and apologize • Send a handwritten note of apology • Call and apologize

When talking to a group of people, you maintain eye contact with • The one to whom you are speaking • Each person moving in a rapid clockwise direction • No one in particular • Each person looking directly at each one • Each person looking directly at each one

During introductions you forget someone’s name, you • Skip the person and move on • Apologize and ask the person his or her name • Make a joke about never remembering names • Use a generic name hoping you will be corrected • Apologize and ask the person his or her name

You are being introduced, but you were introduced incorrectly, you • State the correction loudly • Casually mention the correction and then drop it • Ignore the error • Make a joke about it • Casually mention the correction and then drop it

The Skills For proper etiquette…

Etiquette Skills • Greeting • Dressing • Communicating • Being Honest

Greeting People For both friends and soon to be friends…

By Mohandas Gandhi “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”

Greeting Others • Rise (if possible) if you are seated • Make eye contact • Say hello or give a greeting • Introduce yourself (if not being introduced) • Smile • Initiate or receive a handshake (If you know the person is involved with Phi Theta Kappa, a hug is appropriate; if they are not, do NOT hug) • Remember that everyone (even clerical and custodial employees) is important—treat with respect

The Business Handshake • Your hand should be dry • Grip the hand palm to palm • Use a firm grip, but not too firm • Maintain eye contact (in U.S. culture) • Maintain the handshake for 3-4 seconds • Do not “pump” the hand • Say something

Making Introductions • Say the name of the “power” people first—introduce them to others President Smith, may I introduce Tom Jones, our vice president of relations. President Smith has been our college president for seven years. • Introduce younger people to older people • Make introductions while standing (unless seated at a table and presentations have begun) • Use first names only if given permission • Say something about the people to facilitate discussion

Remembering Names • Use formal names titles, especially with higher ranking and older people • If you forgot a name, be straightforward and say something such as, “Your name was on the tip of my tongue a minute ago, please help me out.” • Never assume to use someone’s first name. Wait for permission, such as, “Please call me Ruth.”

Presenting Your Business Card • Remember they are not seeds—do not give them out at random • Your card should be clean and in good condition • Hand the card to the receiver face up so it can be read by him or her • Hold the card by one of the top corners (by both top corners if presenting to people from Asia) • Allow the receiver time to look at the card

Receiving a Business Card • Take the card as it was presented (with one or two hands) and grasp it at the bottom corner(s) • Take a few moments to look at the card, especially the name and title • Make a positive comment about the card • Place the card in a card case, front pocket, or portfolio pocket (never in your back pocket) • Accept the card whether you want it or not • Never fold the card • Never write on the card

Dressing For the proper impression…

By Buck Rodgers, Author of The IBM Way “The way you dress affects the way you are perceived, and the way you are perceived, is the way you are treated”

Making that First Impression • Your body language • Posture • Eye contact • Facial expression—A smile perhaps • Your appearance • Clean, pressed clothing • Polished and professional • Your words

What Types of Impressions? • Sophistication • Confidence • Social Status • Ethical • Trustworthy • Successful • Educated • Healthy • Awareness (of yourself and others)

Choosing Your Words • Practice what you might say • Consider what your audience would like to hear • Say something from the other perspective • From their perspective (not yours) will leave a lasting impact • Be prepared with small talk subjects to discuss • Be comfortable giving and receiving compliments

Grooming • Neat hair and facial hair • Clean fingernails • No visible tattoos or body jewelry • Light or no perfume or cologne • Limited jewelry • Stockings without runs and teams • Good, clean, closed-toe shoes • Belts on pants • Socks that coordinate

Business Dress • Represent yourself and your organization • Conservative • Consistent • Respectful • Impressive • Follow the 80/20 rule: 80% of your outfit traditional and have fun with 20% (accessorize) • Consider how your outfit will change throughout the work day

Fashion Disasters • Visible bra straps and panty lines • Low-rise and high-waisted jeans • Socks with sandals • Shoes you cannot walk in • Clothes that do not fit • Not dressing age-appropriately • Muffin tops • Dressing monochromatic • Sneakers and flip flops • Short shorts or baggy shorts An interesting web site

Attitude • Be positive at ALL times • Overcome biases and stereotypes • Focus on successes, no matter how small • Expect the unexpected • Do NOT gossip • Realize: • You are what you think • You have an impact on ALL around you

Communicating For best results…

By Adlai Stevenson II, politician “Politeness is the art of choosing among one’s real thoughts.”

Making Small Talk • The person introducing you should have given you a shared interest or topic, so use it • Some safe topics: • Weather • Travel, if the person traveled a distance • Humorous items in the news • Some unsafe topics: • Yourself and your achievement • Politics • Religion

Listening • Think about someone who does not listen to you • How would you describe the person’s actions • How do you know he or she is NOT listening • How does it make you feel • Think about someone you know listens to you • How would you describe the person’s actions • How do you know he or she is listening • How does it make you feel

Developing Better Listening Skills • Pay attention • Look at the speaker • Observe the speaker’s body language • Develop rapport • Be mindful of your body language • Ask questions for clarity • Listen for the meaning or intention • Develop empathy • Do not judge—be objective (it’s not about you) • Respond appropriately

Consider Your Message • What is the purpose • What is the best method of communication • What is the best time and place to communicate • How will the receiver react • What outcomes or expectations are there

Telephone Etiquette • Introduce yourself and the purpose of your call • Always be respectful of time, ask if it is a good time to talk or when is a good time • Be organized with your call—make and outline and notes before calling • Avoid distracting noises in the background • Never place someone on hold without asking • Return calls as quickly as possible • Make notes about the call, but do not be distracted

Leaving a Voice Message • Speak clearly • Sound positive and upbeat • Speak somewhat slowly • Identify yourself and your phone number • Be brief and to the point—similar to bullets • State any expectations and when you might follow up with the person • Leave your name and number again

Email Etiquette • Always reply to messages • Use a good subject line • Do NOT use emoticons or text-speak • Keep it short • Watch out for reply to ALL

Written Communication • Must be neat and professional • Use readable fonts and spacing • Keep it short • Use bullets as necessary • Have an introduction and conclusion • Identify expectations and deadlines

Being Honest With yourself and others…

By Woodrow Wilson, 28th American president (1856-1924) “If you will think about what you ought to do for other people, your character will take care of itself. Character is a by-product, and any man who devotes himself to its cultivation in his own case will become a selfish prig.”

Those Little Things • Never appear to be “Too Busy” for people • Mingle—share the love • Greet friends as well as strangers • Never be “Monopolized” by people • After a few minutes of conversation, politely excuse yourself and move to someone else • Listen, but keep it short • (Help each other out by watching for this) • Do not be the first in line for food • Wear good quality shoes so you can walk

Those Little Things (continued) • Remember the 80/20 rule—listen 80%/talk 20% • Be aware of your body language • Watch your facial expressions • Use people’s names (they like that) • Always say “Please” and “Thank You” • Never forget: • You are there to serve and assist • You are NOT there to be served

Stress and Frustration • Remain calm and cool • Empathize with those involved • Accept responsibility (or partial responsibility) if it will help the situation • Review alternatives • Create an action plan • Take action • Review progress at a later time

Ethics & Etiquette