HUBERT KAIRUKI MEMORIAL UNIVERSITY

1. HUBERT KAIRUKI MEMORIAL UNIVERSITY DEPARTMENT OF BEHAVIOURAL SCIENCES AND ETHICS SUBJECT; THERAPEUTIC COUNSELLING TOPIC; COUNSELLING SKILLS I LISTENING AND ATTENDING. FACILITATOR; DR. KABERO

2. GROUP MEMBERS • Alfred RomwaldSanga • DishanNarendraMandania • Baraka Joel Masinsi • Fatma Ally KhAMIS • JoangelineBamwenzaki • MariamFuadAbdallah • Wilfred ConstantinoMunishi • LimbuGilyaSinga • Salome Cyprian Maige

3. INTRODUCTION Listening and attending are by far the most important aspects of the counseling process. Often, the best counseling is that which involves the counselor only listening to the other person. Unfortunately, more of us feel that we are obliged to talk, although it is the ‘over-talking’ by the counselor that is least productive. If we can train ourselves to give our full attention to the client and really listen to them, we can do much to help them.

4. OBJECTIVES. • To be able to discriminate the two processes i.e. attending and listening. • Understand zones of attention and how to apply them in the counseling process. • Learn behaviors a counselor should exhibit during counseling.

5. DEFINITION OF TERMS. • Attention; Notice taken of someone or something as interesting or important. • Listening; Make an effort to hear something. • Attending; Be present at an event, meeting, or function. • Counselor; A person trained to give guidance on personal, social or psychological problems. • Client; A person using the services of a professional (in this case health professional). • Prompt; An act of assisting or encouraging a hesitant speaker.

6. MAIN DISCUSSION.A. ATTENDING. Attending is the act of truly focusing on the other person. It involves consciously making ourselves aware of what the other person is saying and what they are trying to communicate to us. Three hypothetical zones of attention have been demonstrated.

7. Zone 1/attention out; It represents having our attention fully focused outside of ourselves and on the environment around us, or on the client. Involves fully listening and paying attention to all the verbal and non-verbal cues, this way we are not distracted by our own thoughts and feelings. Zone 2/attention in; When attention is focused on this zone, the counselor is caught up with his or her own thoughts and feelings. Attention on the client is only partial.

8. Zone 3; Involves fantasy thinking, ideas and beliefs that we have that bear no direct relation to what is going on but concerns what we think or believe is going on. The counselor focusing on this zone is busy trying to work out theories about the client. Rather than giving full attention, he or she is interpreting what is going on, which may be misleading, therefore not good in the counseling process.

9. Awareness of focus of attention and its shift between the three zones has its implications for all aspects of counseling. A counselor who is able to focus in zone one for long periods is likely to be more observant and more accurate than the counselor who is not. The counselor who can discriminate zone 2 and zone 3 is less likely to jump to conclusions about their observations or to make value judgments based on interpretation rather than on fact.

10. Therefore we should learn to focus directly on the client i.e. zone 1, with occasional shift to zone 2, and avoiding zone 3.

11. B. LISTENING Listening is the process of hearing the other person. This involves not only noticing things they say but also a whole range of other aspects of communication such as body language, facial expression, gestures, eye contact, tone and pitch. A skilled counselor learns to listen to all aspects of communication.

12. LEVELS OF LISTENING. • The first level of listening refers to the idea of the counselor merely noting what is being said. In this mode neither client nor counselor are psychologically very close. • In the second level of listening, the counselor learns to develop ‘free-floating’ attention. That is, he or she listens to the client’s non-verbal and paralinguistic behaviors as indicators of what the client is thinking and feeling. The counselor begins to see the world as the client experiences it.

13. In the third level of listening, the counselor maintains ‘free-floating’ attention, notices non-verbal and paralinguistic communication as well as his or her own internal thoughts and feelings. As Rollo May (1983) said; it is frequently the case that what the counselor is feeling once the counseling relationship has deepened is a direct mirror image of what the client is feeling.

14. USE OF ‘MINIMAL PROMPTS’. While the counselor is listening to the client it is important that they show that they are listening. An obvious aid to this is the use of what may be described as ‘minimal prompts’ such as head nods, yes’s, mhm’s and so on. All these indicate that you are still with the client. On the other hand, overusing them can be irritating to the client, therefore it is important that the counselor is consciously aware of their use of ‘minimal prompts’.

15. I t is important to note also that very often such prompts are not necessary at all. Often, all the client needs is to be listened to and appreciate that the counselor is listening without the need for further reinforcement of the fact.

16. BEHAVIORAL ASPECTS OF LISTENING. Behaviors the counselor adapts when listening to the client need also to be considered. Egan (1986) offers the acronym SOLER as a means of identifying and remembering the sorts of counselor behavior that encourage effective listening. Sit squarely in relation to the client. Maintain an Open position. Lean slightly towards the client. Maintain reasonable Eye contact with client. Relax.

17. First, it is acknowledged that one person listens to another more effectively if they sit opposite or nearly opposite the other person rather than next to them. Sitting opposite allows the counselor to see all aspects of communication that might be missed if thy sat next to the client. • Second, a closed body position as much as a closed attitude, can block effective counseling. The position where the counselor sits in a knotted position with arms and legs crossed should be avoided as it may convey a defensive feeling to the client.

18. Leaning towards the client can encourage the client and make them feel more understood. It may not seem immediately clear, but next time you talk to someone try leaning away from them and note the result. • The amount of eye contact that the counselor uses should roughly match the amount the client uses. It is important however, that the counselor’s eyes should be ‘available’ for the client, the counselor is always prepared to maintain eye contact. On the other hand, it is that the client doesn’t feel stared at or intimidated by the counselor’s glare.

19. The amount of eye contact the counselor will make will depend on a number of factors, including the topic under discussion, the degree of comfortability the counselor feels with the client, the degree to which the counselor feels attracted to the client, the amount of eye contact the client makes, the nature and the quality of the client’s eye contact and so forth. If the counselor continually finds the maintenance of eye contact difficult, it is perhaps useful to consider talking the issue with a trusted colleague because eye contact is vital for communication.

20. The counselor should feel relaxed while listening to the client. They should refrain from ‘rehearsing’ responses in their head. What the counselor has to do is sit back and intently listen.

21. BLOCKS OF EFFECTIVE LISTENING. • The counselor’s own problems. • Counselor stress and anxiety. • Awkward/ uncomfortable seating. • Lack of attention to listening behavior. • Value judgments and interpretations on the part of the counselor. • Counselor’s attention focused ‘in’ rather than ‘out’. • ‘Rehearsals’ inside the counselor’s head.

22. While numerous conditions exist in which listening may be difficult, Egan offers a useful list of some other possibilities that can make listening to another person a problem; • Attraction; You find a client either quite attractive or quite unattractive. You pay more attention to what you are feeling about the client than what the client is saying. • Physical condition; You are tired or sick, without realizing, you tune out some of the things the client is saying. • Concerns; You are preoccupied with your own concerns.

23. Over eagerness; You are so eager to respond that you listen to only a part of what the client has to say. You become preoccupied with your own responses rather than with the client’s revelations. • Similarity of problems; The problems the client is dealing with are quite similar to your own. As the client talks, your mind wanders to the ways in which what is being said applies to you and your situation. • Differences; The client and his or her experience is very different from you and your experiences. This lack of communality is distracting.

24. AIDS TO EFFECTIVE LISTENING. • Attention focused ‘out’. • Suspension of judgment by counselor. • Attention to the behavioral aspects of listening. • Comfortable seating. • Avoidance of interpretation. • Development of ‘free-floating’ attention. • Judicious use of minimal prompts.

25. SUMMARY. The attending and listening aspects of counseling are essential skills that can be used in every health professional's job . The skills are not limited only to use within the counseling relationship but can be applied in other interpersonal exchanges.

26. CONCLUSION. An advantage of paying attention to development of these skills is that becoming an effective listener not only makes for better counseling practice but interpersonal effectiveness and self awareness are also enhanced.

27. RECCOMENDATIONS. It would seem that there's an optimum point at which to stand in relation to most clients. Stand too far back and you can not appreciate the client's problems. Stand too close and you become part of those problems. Therefore ,it is important for health professionals to learn these skills for counseling .

28. REFERENCES. • Counseling skills for health professionals by Philip Burnard 2nd edition. • Wikipedia