Lecture 6
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Lecture 6. Editing your message. Last Week. We discussed prewriting: Gathering Organizing Focusing. LAST WEEK. We discussed writing: Drafting Editing. Today. Learn about indirect and direct messages The importance of the introduction and conclusion The three parts of editing:

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Lecture 6

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Lecture 6

Editing your message


Last Week

  • We discussed prewriting:

  • Gathering

  • Organizing

  • Focusing


LAST WEEK

  • We discussed writing:

  • Drafting

  • Editing


Today

  • Learn about indirect and direct messages

  • The importance of the introduction and conclusion

  • The three parts of editing:

    • Editing for Content

    • Editing for Style

    • Editing for Readability


To Begin

  • Communication Strategy: Message Structure


Message Structure

  • Thoughts can be random.

  • Our Message should not be


Emphasis

  • Your emphasis is the strongest point of your message.

  • We must learn how to emphasize the important points.


Emphasis

  • Audience Memory Curve.

  • When is the Audience most interested?


Emphasis

  • Lesson:

  • Most interested at the beginning and at the end.


Emphasis

  • Lesson:

  • We must state important points either at the beginning or end (or both!)


Emphasis

  • Lesson:

  • Don’t bury good ideas in the middle!!!


Emphasis

  • Direct Approach: main ideas at beginning

  • Indirect: Main ideas at end


Direct Approach

  • I really like my BUS 100 Class

    • It is fun

    • It is interesting

    • It is cool


Direct Approach

I need to shower.

  • I am dirty

  • I have a date

  • I have not showered in a week


INDirect Approach

  • BUS 100 is fun

  • It is interesting

  • It is cool

    Therefore, I really like my BUS 100 Class


Indirect Approach

  • I am dirty

  • I have a date

  • I have not showered in a week

  • Therefore, I need to shower.


  • What to use?

    • Use the direct approach:

    • It makes things easier to understand.

    • Is audience centered

    • Saves time


    What to use?

    • Rarely use the indirect approach. Only if:

    • The message is sensitive

    • The message is negative.


    Editing

    • Summary: Most important part of message:

    • Beginning

    • Ending


    Editing

    • In Writing:

    • Introduction - opening

    • Conclusion - closing


    Editing

    • In Writing:

    • Introduction

    • Conclusion


    Introduction

    • Page 62

    • Why is it important?

    • What does it do?


    Introduction

    • Builds reader interest

    • Explains why you are writing

    • Gives a preview of the message/report


    Introduction

    • Build Reader interest:

    • Refer to an existing situation:

      • As you know...

      • As we discussed...

      • As you requested

      • As desired...


    Introduction

    • Build Reader interest:

    • Refer to shared ideas

      • We must improve our standards

      • Our company has to...

      • This company is...

      • We must...


    Introduction

    • Explain purpose for writing.

    • Answer the question. Why am I writing?


    Introduction

    • This report shows...

    • I am writing because...

    • This message is to...

    • This will explain


    Introduction

    • Reader must know why you are writing!


    Introduction

    • Provides a preview – explains how message is organized


    Introduction

    • Preview:

      • This message covers all new steps in the procedure

      • This message is organized in three sections (1) ...... (2)..... and (3).....


    Introduction

    • Builds reader interest

    • Explains why you are writing

    • Gives a preview of the message/report


    Conclusion

    • Also called “Closing”

    • Feedback – what will I do next?

    • And/or

    • What next? – what should you do?


    Conclusion

    • Feedback:

    • I will call you next week

    • I will see you on Thursday

    • I will email you more info


    Conclusion

    • What next?

    • Please send any questions

    • Please contact me

    • Please respond by January 20


    Conclusion

    • Goodbye!

    • Include a polite goodbye, to make the reader end with good feelings


    Conclusion

    • Goodbye!

    • I look forward to seeing you

    • I look forward to working for you

    • I look forward to talking to


    Conclusion

    • Never:

    • Introduce a new topic

    • End too quickly


    Intro/Conclusion

    • We will revisit these topics later this week


    Editing

    • Think of editing as having 3 parts:

      • For content

      • For readability

      • For style


    Editing

    • Think of editing as having 3 parts:

      • For content

      • For readability

      • For style


    Content

    • Editing follows Drafting in our writing process

    • Print out your draft and begin editing

    • The three steps of editing need not be done in order


    Content

    • To start, review the five communication strategies. Be sure the message is saying what you want it to.


    Content

    • Sell? Tell?

    • Audience Appropriate?

    • Right Channel?

    • Etc.


    Content

    • Read the paper:

    • Are the right main points there?

    • Give to a friend.

    • Read out loud


    Content

    • Shorten:

    • Remove any unnecessary info.

    • Remember: in Business there is not much time


    Content-Summary

    • Print a copy

    • Review Communication Strategies

    • Have a friend read it

    • Shorten the paper


    Editing

    • Think of editing as having 3 parts:

      • For content

      • For readability

      • For style


    readability

    • Business writing needs to be short, clear, and direct

    • Here are a few tips and examples to help you improve you writing and make it more clear


    readability

    • Avoid wordiness

    • Use as few words as you can

    • Say as much as you can with as few words as possible


    readability

    • Bad: Too long

      • He is good in terms of basketball ability and skill

      • Good: short and clear

        • He plays basketball well.


    readability

    • Avoid long sentences


    readability

    • Bad: confusing structure

      • It doesn’t matter who you are or what you know, because if you want to pass this class you must hand in all of your work on time, take all the tests, and come to each class.


    readability

    • Good: Split into sentences

      • All students who want to pass this class must come to each class. They must also do all the homework and take all of the tests.


    readability

    • Use the active voice.

    • It is shorter and more clear

    • Put the subject at the beginning of the sentence


    readability

    • Good paragraphs!

    • Paragraphs should have a topic sentence followed by body sentences


    readability

    • Topic Sentence: introduces the main point of the paragraph

    • Body sentences: supports the topic sentence


    readability

    • Good: Topic sentence and support.

    • Today’s lecture is about editing and the different components. First it will focus on content. Then on readability. Then on Style.


    readability

    • Bad: No Topic Sentence.

    • Today’s lecture talks about editing content. Then about editing readability and then about style


    readability

    • Use transition words:

    • Page 67

    • This will make your writing more interesting


    Readability-summary

    • Avoid wordiness

    • Good Paragraph Structure

    • Use the active voice

    • Use transition words


    Editing

    • Think of editing as having 3 parts:

      • For content

      • For readability

      • For style


    Style

    • Now that you have all the words, we must make the document look good


    Style

    • “High Skim Value”

    • Pretend someone is skimming your work.

    • Change the layout so they can easily find important points, main ideas, etc.


    Style

    • Headings

    • White Space

    • Font


    Headings

    • Headings should be parallel (same form) and make “stand alone sense”

    • This means they should make sense on their own


    Headings

    • Ineffective: does not make stand alone sense

      • Recommendation


    Headings

    • Effective: does make stand alone sense

      • Recommendation: Open a new store location


    Headings

    • Ineffective: not parallel

      • Steps to increase business:

        • Build a new store

        • Getting more customers

        • To sell more products


    Headings

    • Effective: parallel

      • Steps to increase business:

        • Build a new store

        • Get more customers

        • Sell more products


    White Space

    • White space is empty space on the page.

      • It emphasizes main ideas

      • It presents ideas more clearly

      • It gives the reader a break


    White Space

    • Vary paragraph length

    • Don’t have one long paragraph, or many small, similar sized ones

    • Have variety!


    White Space

    • Ineffective – one long paragraph

    • If your reader has to get a dictionary to understand your report then you have not used plain English. When writing a report your job is to get your argument across to your reader, not to expand his or her vocabulary. Replace unusual or obscure words with ones that are easier to understand. For example, don't talk about a ‘paradigm shift' unless you really have to, instead tell them about a different approach or change of attitude or process. Also, delete unnecessary words. A crisis is always serious and dangers are always real so you do not need to say ‘serious crisis' or ‘real danger'. Are there trivial crises or imitation dangers? This point of grammar can seriously improve your report writing! Active sentences will usually have a subject-verb-object structure whereas passive ones have an object-verb-subject structure. Clear as mud? Forget the grammar and just look at some examples. For example, ‘The dog chased the cat' (5 words) is an active sentence whereas ‘The cat was chased by the dog' (7 words) is a passive sentence. Active sentences are normally shorter and a bit more direct. It is usually a good idea to aim for about 70-80% of your sentences to be active when writing reports. In technical reports you may have to lower your sights a little.


    White Space

    • Ineffective – too many short paragraphs

      If your reader has to get a dictionary to understand your report then you have not used plain English. When writing a report your job is to get your argument across to your reader, not to expand his or her vocabulary.

      Replace unusual or obscure words with ones that are easier to understand. For example, don't talk about a ‘paradigm shift' unless you really have to, instead tell them about a different approach or change of attitude or process.

      Also, delete unnecessary words. A crisis is always serious and dangers are always real so you do not need to say ‘serious crisis' or ‘real danger'. Are there trivial crises or imitation dangers? This point of grammar can seriously improve your report writing!

      Active sentences will usually have a subject-verb-object structure whereas passive ones have an object-verb-subject structure. Clear as mud? Forget the grammar and just look at some examples.

      For example, ‘The dog chased the cat' (5 words) is an active sentence whereas ‘The cat was chased by the dog' (7 words) is a passive sentence. Active sentences are normally shorter and a bit more direct.

      It is usually a good idea to aim for about 70-80% of your sentences to be active when writing reports. In technical reports you may have to lower your sights a little.


    White Space

    • Effective – varying lengths

      If your reader has to get a dictionary to understand your report then you have not used plain English. When writing a report your job is to get your argument across to your reader, not to expand his or her vocabulary. Replace unusual or obscure words with ones that are easier to understand. For example, don't talk about a ‘paradigm shift' unless you really have to, instead tell them about a different approach or change of attitude or process.

      Also, delete unnecessary words. A crisis is always serious and dangers are always real so you do not need to say ‘serious crisis' or ‘real danger'. Are there trivial crises or imitation dangers? This point of grammar can seriously improve your report writing! Active sentences will usually have a subject-verb-object structure whereas passive ones have an object-verb-subject structure. Clear as mud? Forget the grammar and just look at some examples.

      For example, ‘The dog chased the cat' (5 words) is an active sentence whereas ‘The cat was chased by the dog' (7 words) is a passive sentence. Active sentences are normally shorter and a bit more direct. It is usually a good idea to aim for about 70-80% of your sentences to be active when writing reports. In technical reports you may have to lower your sights a little.


    White Space

    • Effective: split ideas into a list

    • I want to remind you of the following things you must do for me:

      • Finish your homework

      • Prepare your presentations

      • Study for you quiz


    White Space

    • Ineffective: paragraph with no structure

    • You have to do your homework before tomorrow. You also have to come and talk to me. Will you study for your exam? You shouldn’t forget to do that either.


    White Space

    • Indenting is important


    White Space

    • Be sure your lists look like this

    • And that your lists don’t look like this


    White Space

    • It is better to use “ragged right” margins

    • Don’t use justified margins


    White Space

    • Good: Ragged Right

      If your reader has to get a dictionary to understand your report then you have not used plain English. When writing a report your job is to get your argument across to your reader, not to expand his or her vocabulary. Replace unusual or obscure words with ones that are easier to understand. For example, don't talk about a ‘paradigm shift' unless you really have to, instead tell them about a different approach or change of attitude or process.

      Also, delete unnecessary words. A crisis is always serious and dangers are always real so you do not need to say ‘serious crisis' or ‘real danger'. Are there trivial crises or imitation dangers? This point of grammar can seriously improve your report writing! Active sentences will usually have a subject-verb-object structure whereas passive ones have an object-verb-subject structure. Clear as mud? Forget the grammar and just look at some examples.

      For example, ‘The dog chased the cat' (5 words) is an active sentence whereas ‘The cat was chased by the dog' (7 words) is a passive sentence. Active sentences are normally shorter and a bit more direct. It is usually a good idea to aim for about 70-80% of your sentences to be active when writing reports. In technical reports you may have to lower your sights a little.


    White Space

    • Bad: Justified

      If your reader has to get a dictionary to understand your report then you have not used plain English. When writing a report your job is to get your argument across to your reader, not to expand his or her vocabulary. Replace unusual or obscure words with ones that are easier to understand. For example, don't talk about a ‘paradigm shift' unless you really have to, instead tell them about a different approach or change of attitude or process.

      Also, delete unnecessary words. A crisis is always serious and dangers are always real so you do not need to say ‘serious crisis' or ‘real danger'. Are there trivial crises or imitation dangers? This point of grammar can seriously improve your report writing! Active sentences will usually have a subject-verb-object structure whereas passive ones have an object-verb-subject structure. Clear as mud? Forget the grammar and just look at some examples.

      For example, ‘The dog chased the cat' (5 words) is an active sentence whereas ‘The cat was chased by the dog' (7 words) is a passive sentence. Active sentences are normally shorter and a bit more direct. It is usually a good idea to aim for about 70-80% of your sentences to be active when writing reports. In technical reports you may have to lower your sights a little.


    White Space

    • For business writing, use a 12 pt. Font

    • “Times New Roman” is the standard Font


    White Space

    • You can use other ones, but don’t go too crazy.


    White Space

    • Effective: 12 pt. Normal font

      If your reader has to get a dictionary to understand your report then you have not used plain English. When writing a report your job is to get your argument across to your reader, not to expand his or her vocabulary. Replace unusual or obscure words with ones that are easier to understand. For example, don't talk about a ‘paradigm shift' unless you really have to, instead tell them about a different approach or change of attitude or process.

      Also, delete unnecessary words. A crisis is always serious and dangers are always real so you do not need to say ‘serious crisis' or ‘real danger'. Are there trivial crises or imitation dangers? This point of grammar can seriously improve your report writing! Active sentences will usually have a subject-verb-object structure whereas passive ones have an object-verb-subject structure. Clear as mud? Forget the grammar and just look at some examples.

      For example, ‘The dog chased the cat' (5 words) is an active sentence whereas ‘The cat was chased by the dog' (7 words) is a passive sentence. Active sentences are normally shorter and a bit more direct. It is usually a good idea to aim for about 70-80% of your sentences to be active when writing reports. In technical reports you may have to lower your sights a little.


    White Space

    • Ineffective: 8 pt. Normal font

      If your reader has to get a dictionary to understand your report then you have not used plain English. When writing a report your job is to get your argument across to your reader, not to expand his or her vocabulary. Replace unusual or obscure words with ones that are easier to understand. For example, don't talk about a ‘paradigm shift' unless you really have to, instead tell them about a different approach or change of attitude or process.

      Also, delete unnecessary words. A crisis is always serious and dangers are always real so you do not need to say ‘serious crisis' or ‘real danger'. Are there trivial crises or imitation dangers? This point of grammar can seriously improve your report writing! Active sentences will usually have a subject-verb-object structure whereas passive ones have an object-verb-subject structure. Clear as mud? Forget the grammar and just look at some examples.

      For example, ‘The dog chased the cat' (5 words) is an active sentence whereas ‘The cat was chased by the dog' (7 words) is a passive sentence. Active sentences are normally shorter and a bit more direct. It is usually a good idea to aim for about 70-80% of your sentences to be active when writing reports. In technical reports you may have to lower your sights a little.


    White Space

    • Ineffective: 12 pt. weird font

      If your reader has to get a dictionary to understand your report then you have not used plain English. When writing a report your job is to get your argument across to your reader, not to expand his or her vocabulary. Replace unusual or obscure words with ones that are easier to understand. For example, don't talk about a ‘paradigm shift' unless you really have to, instead tell them about a different approach or change of attitude or process.

      Also, delete unnecessary words. A crisis is always serious and dangers are always real so you do not need to say ‘serious crisis' or ‘real danger'. Are there trivial crises or imitation dangers? This point of grammar can seriously improve your report writing! Active sentences will usually have a subject-verb-object structure whereas passive ones have an object-verb-subject structure. Clear as mud? Forget the grammar and just look at some examples.

      For example, ‘The dog chased the cat' (5 words) is an active sentence whereas ‘The cat was chased by the dog' (7 words) is a passive sentence. Active sentences are normally shorter and a bit more direct. It is usually a good idea to aim for about 70-80% of your sentences to be active when writing reports. In technical reports you may have to lower your sights a little.


    Next Time

    • Putting it all together:

    • Writing Business Messages


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