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Lecture 6. Editing your message. Last Week. We discussed prewriting: Gathering Organizing Focusing. LAST WEEK. We discussed writing: Drafting Editing. Today. Learn about indirect and direct messages The importance of the introduction and conclusion The three parts of editing:

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Lecture 6

Lecture 6

Editing your message


Last week
Last Week

  • We discussed prewriting:

  • Gathering

  • Organizing

  • Focusing


Last week1
LAST WEEK

  • We discussed writing:

  • Drafting

  • Editing


Today
Today

  • Learn about indirect and direct messages

  • The importance of the introduction and conclusion

  • The three parts of editing:

    • Editing for Content

    • Editing for Style

    • Editing for Readability


To begin
To Begin

  • Communication Strategy: Message Structure


Message structure
Message Structure

  • Thoughts can be random.

  • Our Message should not be


Emphasis
Emphasis

  • Your emphasis is the strongest point of your message.

  • We must learn how to emphasize the important points.


Emphasis1
Emphasis

  • Audience Memory Curve.

  • When is the Audience most interested?


Emphasis2
Emphasis

  • Lesson:

  • Most interested at the beginning and at the end.


Emphasis3
Emphasis

  • Lesson:

  • We must state important points either at the beginning or end (or both!)


Emphasis4
Emphasis

  • Lesson:

  • Don’t bury good ideas in the middle!!!


Emphasis5
Emphasis

  • Direct Approach: main ideas at beginning

  • Indirect: Main ideas at end


Direct approach
Direct Approach

  • I really like my BUS 100 Class

    • It is fun

    • It is interesting

    • It is cool


Direct approach1
Direct Approach

I need to shower.

  • I am dirty

  • I have a date

  • I have not showered in a week


Indirect approach
INDirect Approach

  • BUS 100 is fun

  • It is interesting

  • It is cool

    Therefore, I really like my BUS 100 Class


Indirect approach1
Indirect Approach

  • I am dirty

  • I have a date

  • I have not showered in a week

  • Therefore, I need to shower.


  • What to use
    What to use?

    • Use the direct approach:

    • It makes things easier to understand.

    • Is audience centered

    • Saves time


    What to use1
    What to use?

    • Rarely use the indirect approach. Only if:

    • The message is sensitive

    • The message is negative.


    Editing
    Editing

    • Summary: Most important part of message:

    • Beginning

    • Ending


    Editing1
    Editing

    • In Writing:

    • Introduction - opening

    • Conclusion - closing


    Editing2
    Editing

    • In Writing:

    • Introduction

    • Conclusion


    Introduction
    Introduction

    • Page 62

    • Why is it important?

    • What does it do?


    Introduction1
    Introduction

    • Builds reader interest

    • Explains why you are writing

    • Gives a preview of the message/report


    Introduction2
    Introduction

    • Build Reader interest:

    • Refer to an existing situation:

      • As you know...

      • As we discussed...

      • As you requested

      • As desired...


    Introduction3
    Introduction

    • Build Reader interest:

    • Refer to shared ideas

      • We must improve our standards

      • Our company has to...

      • This company is...

      • We must...


    Introduction4
    Introduction

    • Explain purpose for writing.

    • Answer the question. Why am I writing?


    Introduction5
    Introduction

    • This report shows...

    • I am writing because...

    • This message is to...

    • This will explain


    Introduction6
    Introduction

    • Reader must know why you are writing!


    Introduction7
    Introduction

    • Provides a preview – explains how message is organized


    Introduction8
    Introduction

    • Preview:

      • This message covers all new steps in the procedure

      • This message is organized in three sections (1) ...... (2)..... and (3).....


    Introduction9
    Introduction

    • Builds reader interest

    • Explains why you are writing

    • Gives a preview of the message/report


    Conclusion
    Conclusion

    • Also called “Closing”

    • Feedback – what will I do next?

    • And/or

    • What next? – what should you do?


    Conclusion1
    Conclusion

    • Feedback:

    • I will call you next week

    • I will see you on Thursday

    • I will email you more info


    Conclusion2
    Conclusion

    • What next?

    • Please send any questions

    • Please contact me

    • Please respond by January 20


    Conclusion3
    Conclusion

    • Goodbye!

    • Include a polite goodbye, to make the reader end with good feelings


    Conclusion4
    Conclusion

    • Goodbye!

    • I look forward to seeing you

    • I look forward to working for you

    • I look forward to talking to


    Conclusion5
    Conclusion

    • Never:

    • Introduce a new topic

    • End too quickly


    Intro conclusion
    Intro/Conclusion

    • We will revisit these topics later this week


    Editing3
    Editing

    • Think of editing as having 3 parts:

      • For content

      • For readability

      • For style


    Editing4
    Editing

    • Think of editing as having 3 parts:

      • For content

      • For readability

      • For style


    Content
    Content

    • Editing follows Drafting in our writing process

    • Print out your draft and begin editing

    • The three steps of editing need not be done in order


    Content1
    Content

    • To start, review the five communication strategies. Be sure the message is saying what you want it to.


    Content2
    Content

    • Sell? Tell?

    • Audience Appropriate?

    • Right Channel?

    • Etc.


    Content3
    Content

    • Read the paper:

    • Are the right main points there?

    • Give to a friend.

    • Read out loud


    Content4
    Content

    • Shorten:

    • Remove any unnecessary info.

    • Remember: in Business there is not much time


    Content summary
    Content-Summary

    • Print a copy

    • Review Communication Strategies

    • Have a friend read it

    • Shorten the paper


    Editing5
    Editing

    • Think of editing as having 3 parts:

      • For content

      • For readability

      • For style


    Readability
    readability

    • Business writing needs to be short, clear, and direct

    • Here are a few tips and examples to help you improve you writing and make it more clear


    Readability1
    readability

    • Avoid wordiness

    • Use as few words as you can

    • Say as much as you can with as few words as possible


    Readability2
    readability

    • Bad: Too long

      • He is good in terms of basketball ability and skill

      • Good: short and clear

        • He plays basketball well.


    Readability3
    readability

    • Avoid long sentences


    Readability4
    readability

    • Bad: confusing structure

      • It doesn’t matter who you are or what you know, because if you want to pass this class you must hand in all of your work on time, take all the tests, and come to each class.


    Readability5
    readability

    • Good: Split into sentences

      • All students who want to pass this class must come to each class. They must also do all the homework and take all of the tests.


    Readability6
    readability

    • Use the active voice.

    • It is shorter and more clear

    • Put the subject at the beginning of the sentence


    Readability7
    readability

    • Good paragraphs!

    • Paragraphs should have a topic sentence followed by body sentences


    Readability8
    readability

    • Topic Sentence: introduces the main point of the paragraph

    • Body sentences: supports the topic sentence


    Readability9
    readability

    • Good: Topic sentence and support.

    • Today’s lecture is about editing and the different components. First it will focus on content. Then on readability. Then on Style.


    Readability10
    readability

    • Bad: No Topic Sentence.

    • Today’s lecture talks about editing content. Then about editing readability and then about style


    Readability11
    readability

    • Use transition words:

    • Page 67

    • This will make your writing more interesting


    Readability summary
    Readability-summary

    • Avoid wordiness

    • Good Paragraph Structure

    • Use the active voice

    • Use transition words


    Editing6
    Editing

    • Think of editing as having 3 parts:

      • For content

      • For readability

      • For style


    Style
    Style

    • Now that you have all the words, we must make the document look good


    Style1
    Style

    • “High Skim Value”

    • Pretend someone is skimming your work.

    • Change the layout so they can easily find important points, main ideas, etc.


    Style2
    Style

    • Headings

    • White Space

    • Font


    Headings
    Headings

    • Headings should be parallel (same form) and make “stand alone sense”

    • This means they should make sense on their own


    Headings1
    Headings

    • Ineffective: does not make stand alone sense

      • Recommendation


    Headings2
    Headings

    • Effective: does make stand alone sense

      • Recommendation: Open a new store location


    Headings3
    Headings

    • Ineffective: not parallel

      • Steps to increase business:

        • Build a new store

        • Getting more customers

        • To sell more products


    Headings4
    Headings

    • Effective: parallel

      • Steps to increase business:

        • Build a new store

        • Get more customers

        • Sell more products


    White space
    White Space

    • White space is empty space on the page.

      • It emphasizes main ideas

      • It presents ideas more clearly

      • It gives the reader a break


    White space1
    White Space

    • Vary paragraph length

    • Don’t have one long paragraph, or many small, similar sized ones

    • Have variety!


    White space2
    White Space

    • Ineffective – one long paragraph

    • If your reader has to get a dictionary to understand your report then you have not used plain English. When writing a report your job is to get your argument across to your reader, not to expand his or her vocabulary. Replace unusual or obscure words with ones that are easier to understand. For example, don't talk about a ‘paradigm shift' unless you really have to, instead tell them about a different approach or change of attitude or process. Also, delete unnecessary words. A crisis is always serious and dangers are always real so you do not need to say ‘serious crisis' or ‘real danger'. Are there trivial crises or imitation dangers? This point of grammar can seriously improve your report writing! Active sentences will usually have a subject-verb-object structure whereas passive ones have an object-verb-subject structure. Clear as mud? Forget the grammar and just look at some examples. For example, ‘The dog chased the cat' (5 words) is an active sentence whereas ‘The cat was chased by the dog' (7 words) is a passive sentence. Active sentences are normally shorter and a bit more direct. It is usually a good idea to aim for about 70-80% of your sentences to be active when writing reports. In technical reports you may have to lower your sights a little.


    White space3
    White Space

    • Ineffective – too many short paragraphs

      If your reader has to get a dictionary to understand your report then you have not used plain English. When writing a report your job is to get your argument across to your reader, not to expand his or her vocabulary.

      Replace unusual or obscure words with ones that are easier to understand. For example, don't talk about a ‘paradigm shift' unless you really have to, instead tell them about a different approach or change of attitude or process.

      Also, delete unnecessary words. A crisis is always serious and dangers are always real so you do not need to say ‘serious crisis' or ‘real danger'. Are there trivial crises or imitation dangers? This point of grammar can seriously improve your report writing!

      Active sentences will usually have a subject-verb-object structure whereas passive ones have an object-verb-subject structure. Clear as mud? Forget the grammar and just look at some examples.

      For example, ‘The dog chased the cat' (5 words) is an active sentence whereas ‘The cat was chased by the dog' (7 words) is a passive sentence. Active sentences are normally shorter and a bit more direct.

      It is usually a good idea to aim for about 70-80% of your sentences to be active when writing reports. In technical reports you may have to lower your sights a little.


    White space4
    White Space

    • Effective – varying lengths

      If your reader has to get a dictionary to understand your report then you have not used plain English. When writing a report your job is to get your argument across to your reader, not to expand his or her vocabulary. Replace unusual or obscure words with ones that are easier to understand. For example, don't talk about a ‘paradigm shift' unless you really have to, instead tell them about a different approach or change of attitude or process.

      Also, delete unnecessary words. A crisis is always serious and dangers are always real so you do not need to say ‘serious crisis' or ‘real danger'. Are there trivial crises or imitation dangers? This point of grammar can seriously improve your report writing! Active sentences will usually have a subject-verb-object structure whereas passive ones have an object-verb-subject structure. Clear as mud? Forget the grammar and just look at some examples.

      For example, ‘The dog chased the cat' (5 words) is an active sentence whereas ‘The cat was chased by the dog' (7 words) is a passive sentence. Active sentences are normally shorter and a bit more direct. It is usually a good idea to aim for about 70-80% of your sentences to be active when writing reports. In technical reports you may have to lower your sights a little.


    White space5
    White Space

    • Effective: split ideas into a list

    • I want to remind you of the following things you must do for me:

      • Finish your homework

      • Prepare your presentations

      • Study for you quiz


    White space6
    White Space

    • Ineffective: paragraph with no structure

    • You have to do your homework before tomorrow. You also have to come and talk to me. Will you study for your exam? You shouldn’t forget to do that either.


    White space7
    White Space

    • Indenting is important


    White space8
    White Space

    • Be sure your lists look like this

    • And that your lists don’t look like this


    White space9
    White Space

    • It is better to use “ragged right” margins

    • Don’t use justified margins


    White space10
    White Space

    • Good: Ragged Right

      If your reader has to get a dictionary to understand your report then you have not used plain English. When writing a report your job is to get your argument across to your reader, not to expand his or her vocabulary. Replace unusual or obscure words with ones that are easier to understand. For example, don't talk about a ‘paradigm shift' unless you really have to, instead tell them about a different approach or change of attitude or process.

      Also, delete unnecessary words. A crisis is always serious and dangers are always real so you do not need to say ‘serious crisis' or ‘real danger'. Are there trivial crises or imitation dangers? This point of grammar can seriously improve your report writing! Active sentences will usually have a subject-verb-object structure whereas passive ones have an object-verb-subject structure. Clear as mud? Forget the grammar and just look at some examples.

      For example, ‘The dog chased the cat' (5 words) is an active sentence whereas ‘The cat was chased by the dog' (7 words) is a passive sentence. Active sentences are normally shorter and a bit more direct. It is usually a good idea to aim for about 70-80% of your sentences to be active when writing reports. In technical reports you may have to lower your sights a little.


    White space11
    White Space

    • Bad: Justified

      If your reader has to get a dictionary to understand your report then you have not used plain English. When writing a report your job is to get your argument across to your reader, not to expand his or her vocabulary. Replace unusual or obscure words with ones that are easier to understand. For example, don't talk about a ‘paradigm shift' unless you really have to, instead tell them about a different approach or change of attitude or process.

      Also, delete unnecessary words. A crisis is always serious and dangers are always real so you do not need to say ‘serious crisis' or ‘real danger'. Are there trivial crises or imitation dangers? This point of grammar can seriously improve your report writing! Active sentences will usually have a subject-verb-object structure whereas passive ones have an object-verb-subject structure. Clear as mud? Forget the grammar and just look at some examples.

      For example, ‘The dog chased the cat' (5 words) is an active sentence whereas ‘The cat was chased by the dog' (7 words) is a passive sentence. Active sentences are normally shorter and a bit more direct. It is usually a good idea to aim for about 70-80% of your sentences to be active when writing reports. In technical reports you may have to lower your sights a little.


    White space12
    White Space

    • For business writing, use a 12 pt. Font

    • “Times New Roman” is the standard Font


    White space13
    White Space

    • You can use other ones, but don’t go too crazy.


    White space14
    White Space

    • Effective: 12 pt. Normal font

      If your reader has to get a dictionary to understand your report then you have not used plain English. When writing a report your job is to get your argument across to your reader, not to expand his or her vocabulary. Replace unusual or obscure words with ones that are easier to understand. For example, don't talk about a ‘paradigm shift' unless you really have to, instead tell them about a different approach or change of attitude or process.

      Also, delete unnecessary words. A crisis is always serious and dangers are always real so you do not need to say ‘serious crisis' or ‘real danger'. Are there trivial crises or imitation dangers? This point of grammar can seriously improve your report writing! Active sentences will usually have a subject-verb-object structure whereas passive ones have an object-verb-subject structure. Clear as mud? Forget the grammar and just look at some examples.

      For example, ‘The dog chased the cat' (5 words) is an active sentence whereas ‘The cat was chased by the dog' (7 words) is a passive sentence. Active sentences are normally shorter and a bit more direct. It is usually a good idea to aim for about 70-80% of your sentences to be active when writing reports. In technical reports you may have to lower your sights a little.


    White space15
    White Space

    • Ineffective: 8 pt. Normal font

      If your reader has to get a dictionary to understand your report then you have not used plain English. When writing a report your job is to get your argument across to your reader, not to expand his or her vocabulary. Replace unusual or obscure words with ones that are easier to understand. For example, don't talk about a ‘paradigm shift' unless you really have to, instead tell them about a different approach or change of attitude or process.

      Also, delete unnecessary words. A crisis is always serious and dangers are always real so you do not need to say ‘serious crisis' or ‘real danger'. Are there trivial crises or imitation dangers? This point of grammar can seriously improve your report writing! Active sentences will usually have a subject-verb-object structure whereas passive ones have an object-verb-subject structure. Clear as mud? Forget the grammar and just look at some examples.

      For example, ‘The dog chased the cat' (5 words) is an active sentence whereas ‘The cat was chased by the dog' (7 words) is a passive sentence. Active sentences are normally shorter and a bit more direct. It is usually a good idea to aim for about 70-80% of your sentences to be active when writing reports. In technical reports you may have to lower your sights a little.


    White space16
    White Space

    • Ineffective: 12 pt. weird font

      If your reader has to get a dictionary to understand your report then you have not used plain English. When writing a report your job is to get your argument across to your reader, not to expand his or her vocabulary. Replace unusual or obscure words with ones that are easier to understand. For example, don't talk about a ‘paradigm shift' unless you really have to, instead tell them about a different approach or change of attitude or process.

      Also, delete unnecessary words. A crisis is always serious and dangers are always real so you do not need to say ‘serious crisis' or ‘real danger'. Are there trivial crises or imitation dangers? This point of grammar can seriously improve your report writing! Active sentences will usually have a subject-verb-object structure whereas passive ones have an object-verb-subject structure. Clear as mud? Forget the grammar and just look at some examples.

      For example, ‘The dog chased the cat' (5 words) is an active sentence whereas ‘The cat was chased by the dog' (7 words) is a passive sentence. Active sentences are normally shorter and a bit more direct. It is usually a good idea to aim for about 70-80% of your sentences to be active when writing reports. In technical reports you may have to lower your sights a little.


    Next time
    Next Time

    • Putting it all together:

    • Writing Business Messages


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