DRAWING

1. SUMMER Edition, Issue #20 By Marie Sirenko MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! It’s SUMMER!!!! DRAWING

2. Month Info Page WHO CARES WHAT MONTH IT IS ‘CAUSE SUMMER!!! SUMMER!!!

3. SUPER AWESOMELEY AWESOME PEOPLE WHO ARE AWESOMELEY AWESOME ENOUGH TO SUBMIT SOMETHING AWESOME TO THE FUNNY MAGAZINE Please submit more replies guys! They really help!!! And remember to fill out EVERYTHING (including Ditzy), but the story is optional (I really would like stories though) John C. Catherine L. Twinkie (Miles) Mia H. Meghan O. Kelly M. Anthony S. Maggie B. Emily A. MONTHLY CHALLANGE Throughout the magazine, there will be green letters (starting on the next page) and if you write them down in order on the space below, you’ll get a message! _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _!

4. Crazy Marie Okay, guys. You know what time it is, right? It’s time for the… Summer Quiz! How are you spending your time this summer? What camps have you been going to? Did you go on a vacation? If so, where did you go? • Doing fun stuff!!! • Going to some summer camps, you know… • I don’t know… • Uh… normal camps I guess? • MR. UGLY’S TRASH CAMP!!! • I still don’t know… • Oh, some normal place like Hawaii or Disneyland • ANTARTICA!!! • I DON’T KNOW! LIKE SERIOUSLY DUDE WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME THESE QUESTIONS!?

5. What a Coincidence! One day, Marie and Andrew were scootering around near their grandma’s house and Andrew said that his friend lived nearby. “Maybe we should see where he lives on Beehively so that I can see him.” Andrew said. Just as he said that, his friend’s mom’s car drove down the street we were scootering on. “Oh, hi Andrew! I haven’t seen you in a while! You should come over soon so that you can play with [friend’s name]!” What a coincidence! BEE!!! One day, I (Marie) was at my friend Julia’s house and they were in her backyard’s spa. Suddenly, a bee came and kept buzzing around us, and it was blocking the exit! (It’s like impossible to get out any other way) So we started screaming and Julia’s mom came out, asking what was wrong. We told her about the bee and how we needed something to hit it with. Her mom went inside and came back with a spatula. Julia took it and started hitting the bee with it until it went away. The next day Julia’s mom was cooking, but she couldn’t find the spatula. She found it later in the filter when they were cleaning the pool.

6. Dear Mr. Ugly Dear Catherine, You should try to catch a fly with your pencil!!! I almost did that once! Or just fall asleep. From Mr. Ugly Dear Mr. Ugly, What do you do if you’re in class and you’re super bored and trying not to fall asleep? From, Catherine L. Dear Kelly, Uhhhh... Maybe you should compromise! Play Trash-ball instead! From Mr. Ugly Dear Mr. Ugly, I want to try softball, but I want to play soccer too. What should I do? From, Kelly M. Dear Mr. Ugly, OMG! Yes we should throw a trash party! Lets have it at your dump! From, Mia H. Dear Mia, YEAH!!! I'll bring the food, you do the invitations. We can COLLECT TRASH!!! From Mr. Ugly

7. Dear Mr. Ugly, What do you think I should wear to a dance party? From, Anthony S. Dear Anthony, You should wear a traffic cone on your head and aluminum foil wrapped around you so that you're shiny and you stand out. From Mr. Ugly Dear Mr. Ugly, How many licks does it take to get to the center of a trash pop? From, Paxton B. Dear Paxton, *munches on trash* The world may never know! From Mr. Ugly Dear Mr. Ugly, What do you smell like? From, Twinkie Dear Twinkie, Uh... That's kind of personal. But I smell like my trash shampoo, I guess. From Mr. Ugly

8. MR. UGLY’S TRASH CAMP Are you bored? Do you have nothing to do? Well, have no fear, Mr. Ugly’s Trash Camp is here! • In Mr. Ugly’s Trash Camp, everyone is happy! There are so many fun things to do, and you’ll be staying in such a wonderful place. • There are so many fun things to do in Mr. Ugly’s Trash Camp, such as… • Collecting trash for Mr. Ugly • Talking about trash • Collecting more trash • Playing in the trash • Collecting more trash • COLLECTING MORE TRASH!!!! Here are some pictures of our beautiful campsite: All of this and more for only 10 pieces of trash! Call now at 000-000-0000 TRASH

9. Sandie’s Blog Hey hey hey guys! So, how’s it going? For me it’s BORING AND HOT!!! Oh my gosh… summer is like so overrated. “Oh yay, there’s no school or dog training lessons! And it’ll be so warm!” WRONG. I would much rather be in dog training lessons right now. A least they give you treats and there’s air conditioning! I can’t tell you how hot it is right now. I’m MELTING!!! And melting is like so boring. AHHHH THE BOREDNESS IS TAKING OVER ME!!!!!! How are you guys spending the summer? There’s got to be a way to have fun without burning in the sun. SUGGESTIONS PLEASE?????? Posted by SandieRocks on July 22 at 8:24 AM

10. Replies from the neighborhood… Zuni123 said: Well, at least it’s better than freezing your fur off during the cold winter. And if you write a blog, you must have a computer. Why don’t you use that? SandieRocks replied: But it’s not that cold in the winter! And I can only use the computer when I’m inside. PeeweeChihuahua said: Ish… melting… can’t… reply… SandieRocks replied: Wait… if you’re melting, then how did you just type that? Write your suggestions on the back in the Sandie’s blog section!

11. Replies from last month… (shedding and owners brushing fur out incident) BowwowBetsy* said: Take a chill pill please! It's getting hotter and sooner or later you'll wish you were bald! SandieRocks replied: Okay, okay, I kind of do wish I was bald now... But that wouldn't be too pretty. TheLAOracle** said: Your owners just don't like shedding because your fur gets all over their furniture and the floor. Try to stay outside or in one place. SandieRocks replied: But I don't see any fur anywhere! (Marie's note: there's like 3 inches of fur on the floor, Sandie) JohnCatanzarita said: How does it hurt? SandieRocks replied: Okay, imagine someone was yanking out your hair. Would that hurt? -.- SportsLover878*** said: I say just let them do what they're doing and finish summer. SandieRocks replied: Hmph. Fine, I guess. **TheLAOracle = Catherine L. *BowwowBetsy= Meghan O. ***SportsLover878 = Kelly M.

12. Sandie’s getting really hot from sitting in the sun! Which path leads to the shady tree? A B C

13. Weird Page

14. Votes from last month… Suggested by Clarice!! 2 votes 1 vote 2 votes 4 votes WINNER!!! Suggested by Clarice! 6 votes!!!

15. Other Page In the last issue, I had a survey asking what your favorite TFM was. These are the results: I want to have a survey every month! So, I’m going to come around and ask you this: Would you rather be a waffle or a pancake??? IDK-3 All of them! 21 votes May 18 votes

16. Texting! Riddles When we were in Universal Studios, we went to the “Special Effects Show” and were chosen as volunteers for one part of the show! (In that part we were in a boat and being attacked by an ‘octopus’ and I got to be captain because I’m the youngest, while my brother got to be first mate. The guy who was telling us what to do asked my brother what the first mate did and he shrugged, so he told my brother that the first mate had to do whatever the captain said!) Anyway, our scene was supposed to be before phones were invented, but my dad pulled out his phone to take a picture. The guy thought he was texting and he was like, “Don’t text before phones are invented!” What’s red, yellow, green, orange, purple, blue, white, black, brown, gray, and pink? What runs but never walks, has a bed but never sleeps, and has water but never drinks? A box of crayons A river

17. Valerie’s Stories The Adventures of Hedgy the Hedgehog and his Companion Dinosaur, Dino ~Part One~ Dino was lying on the floor when Hedgy woke up. Like usual, he was experiencing limited mobility due to being made out of plastic. Hedgy bit him in the neck to wake him up and rolled him over onto his feet. “Time for an adventure, you lazy figurine!” Hedgy announced. He often looked down on Dino for being made of plastic. Dino just smirked because he knew sooner or later Hedgy would be put back in his cage by Giant Hand. Dino never had to go in a cage. He was a free-range figurine with the whole Bedroom to explore! His ability to explore, however, was severely hindered by his lack of movable parts, due to being made of plastic, which meant he could only lie in one place until Hedgy rolled him over. But he could never be caged! “Where are we going?” he asked, excited to be looking in a new direction after twelve hours on the

18. floor. Unfortunately, due to his near-sightedness, his perspective had only changed from the reddish-orange blur of the carpet to the bluish-greenish blur of Big Wall. “We’re going to…Underbed!” Hedgy announced, puffing out his quills to show he was not afraid. One quill stuck out over his forehead at an odd direction. He smoothed it back into place with a casual shrug. “But isn’t Underbed, you know, far away?” Dino asked, skeptical that Hedgy would be willing to push him the whole way. It was times like these that he especially rued his lack of joint mobility. What if he pushes me half way and gets tired? I’ll be stuck on an unfamiliar part of the floor! Dino thought with dismay. “No Underbed is too far for two intrepid adventurers!” Hedgy reassured him. “But why? What’s so great about Underbed?” “Only in Underbed can I escape…Giant Hand! I’ll poke my eyes out with my own quills before I go back to that glass box of pellets!” Hedgy paced back and forth scowling. His quills shifted and rolled like the savannah grass in which a lioness stalks her prey. He tried to growl deep in his throat, but his hedgehog vocal cords could only produce a high-pitched wheeze. “Alright,” Dino agreed reluctantly, feeling depressed about his plastic disability, “but only if you push me.” Hedgy braced himself behind Dino’s tail and heaved with all his might. Dino tipped forward and fell on his face. “And we’re off!” Hedgy announced. “Two adventurers on a quest across the Floor!” To be continued next issue…

19. Submitted Page Name:_________ Title:_______________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Catherine L. Return of Lady Clean Our beloved hero sat thinking at his strategy table thinking on the best way to deal with Lady clean and her army of (surprisingly) goats. He had just thought of an amazing plan when Herald the herald* burst in. “My Lord, Lady Clean has requested an audience.” the herald announced, panting. Mr. Ugly frowned. Lady Clean never treated him as an equal or superior. Our hero smelled soap, but he didn’t have a choice. “Let her in,” he said grudgingly. The herald turned to go, but was shoved aside by a white hand. This could only be one person. Lady Clean! Mr. Ugly jumped up and rushed out of the door, locking it behind him. He hid behind a desk and tried to be as quiet as possible. He heard the lock turn and… To be continued… *in case you don’t know, a herald is a messenger of some sort Name:_________ Title:___________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Antho S. Mr. Ugly and the pig One time a little pig was snooping around Mr. Ugly’s dump then he saw Mr. Ugly. Mr. Ugly was like, “Yeah! Someone finally likes trash!” Then the pig said, “No, I’m just throwing away trash. Then Mr. Ugly said, “NOOO!!!” THE END

20. Name:________Title:___________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Kelly M. Mr. Ugly and the Lazies Mr. Ugly was so sad. I asked him why and he said, “I have a case of the lazies. They make you so lazy that you’re sad and you can’t get up!” He also said that the only way to cure it was to get a flower at the top of Mount Lazy. So I climbed to the top and got a flower. When I came back, he was fine. I was like, “I did all of that for nothing?” I was so mad at Mr. Uglybut then he made me a trash lasagna an I felt better. Name: ________ Title:___________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ John C. Hypoflavorous Gang Time a upon once. Sorry. A once time upon. No!  Upon a time once. Dang! >=( Never mind. Blah blah blah blah blah, there was a person. He was ordinary. He was always making trouble, but because of his ordinariness, he was never caught. One day he went to jail , but he got out because of his ordinariness. He also didn’t have any friends until one day he wanted a friend. He met a cat and they became Hypoflavrous. Since no one could pronounce that, they called them the hypoflavorous gang. The end.

21. Ditzy’s Editorial You should have another drawing contest ~John C. Yep, the much-requested drawing contest is now in this issue!  The instructions are in a few pages. Aww, thanks! :3 We thank you guys too for all of your support and submissions. <3 This was already asked and our answer was: There aren’t many funny and appropriate non-animal pictures, but if you happen to find one, Marie would be happy to put it in TFM  Well, MeanieBobeanieSlovinie, Andrew (Marie’s brother) is currently working on it. He hasn’t made any progress yet, but he’s learning how to do it. Hey, you and Annie said you were going to make it. Thankies, but you can still ask questions or compliment us! ;) You guys are AWESOME!!! Happy b-day to The Funny Magazine!  ~Kelly M. You should choose funny non-animal pictures. ~Anthony S. Why is your website so ugly and old and outdated? :/ ~MeanieBobeanieSlovenie HOROSCOPE!!! ~Meghan O. I have no suggestions because The Funny Magazine is already perfect! ~Catherine L.

22. WRITING CONTEST WINNERS The Funny Magazine, I LOVE the sound of that! It makes us all have joy and laughter. But why do I like it? No, I don’t like The Funny Magazine. I LOVE IT! It makes me feel happy and worry free. If you don’t like The Funny Magazine you probably have some problems. If there isn’t one thing that makes The Funny Magazine awesome, it’s all of it that makes The Funny Magazine what it is today. I know that one day, The Funny Magazine will be global. I just know it! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ TFM By: Emily A. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Most of the reasons why I like The Funny Magazine are self-explanatory. It’s funny and engaging. Every month I wait hungrily to see what amazing things are in this Funny Magazine. Eagerly, I tear through it and the cycle begins all over again. It’s colorful and very creative. In one word, The Funny Magazine is just… thrilling! Much thanks to The Funny Magazine team. By: Catherine L. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ The Funny Magazine is a true gift. We the fifth sixth graders are blessed with this wonderful (and funny) magazine. I want to thank Marie for her wonderful work. When I am old I will pull out The Funny Magazine, read it, and laugh. I hope she will continue this for the rest of her life. Thank you. By: Maggie B. HONORABLE MENTIONS I like The Funny Magazine because it’s funny, duh. It’s like the bomb.com. I mean how many people can make this. It’s really awesome and I hope it never stops. -John I like The Funny Magazine A LOT! I like it because it gives the fifth sixth graders something to look forward to every month. And I think it’s fun that we actually get to submit our own things to TFM! I really super duper uper LOVE IT! -Mia

23. Fun Page Spot 12 differences: Find your way through the maze: Start  Finish

24. The Funny Magazine MASCOT DRAWING CONTEST In the space above, draw a mascot for The Funny Magazine!!! It’s about time we chose one! Please put EFFORT into it, and make it CUTE and FUNNY, not UGLY!!! I’ll pick my favorites with 2 other judges and then there will be a vote in TFM for the best! The 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and honorable mention gets a prize!

25. Do you have replies to anything? Write it over here! Name:______________ Nowrip it out and give it to Marie! Suggestion for Sandie: ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________From: Dear Mr. Ugly, From: Fav. Picture: # Favorite Funny Magazine Issue:___________________ Story (Aww, please? I really need some!) : ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ I COMAND YOU TO LOOK ON THE BACK NOW…

26. CONTINUE STORY… __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Suggestions & Ideas for Ditzy’s Editorial… ____________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________Thank you! These really help  ~Marie PLEASE DO NOT DISTRIBUTE!!! I HAVE ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE, JUST ASK ME FOR AN EXTRA!!! (Unless I don’t have any extras. THEN you can share.)