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CONVINCE ME! Persuasion Techniques That Get Things Done. Kevin Kline, SQL Sentry Director of Engineering Services Microsoft SQL Server MVP since 2003 Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn @ KEKline Websites: http://KevinEKline.com/ , http://ForITPros.com. Free Swag from sql sentry.

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convince me persuasion techniques that get things done

CONVINCE ME!Persuasion Techniques That Get Things Done

  • Kevin Kline, SQL Sentry

Director of Engineering Services

Microsoft SQL Server MVP since 2003

Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn @KEKline

Websites: http://KevinEKline.com/ , http://ForITPros.com

free swag from sql sentry
Free Swag from sql sentry
  • FreePlan Explorer download: http://www.sqlsentry.net/plan-explorer/
  • Free query tuning consultations: http://answers.sqlperformance.com.
  • Free new ebook (regularly $10) to attendees. Send request to [email protected]
  • SQL Server educational videos, scripts, and slides: http://SQLSentry.TV
  • Tuning blog: http://www.sqlperformance.com/
  • Monthly eNews tips and tricks: http://www.sqlsentry.net/newsletter-archive.asp
agenda
Agenda
  • Dispelling Some Myths
    • Introverts and Extroverts
    • Natural-born Leaders
  • Influence that carries weight
  • Three appeals that persuade
    • Logical: the Head
    • Emotional: the Heart
    • Cooperative: the Hands
  • Summary
dispelling some myths
Dispelling Some Myths
  • How much do personality types effect influence and persuasiveness?
  • How much does innate abilities effect influence and persuasiveness?
  • In both cases, influence and persuasion are BEHAVIORS, not TRAITS.
building influence
Building Influence

Remember the

Law of Reciprocity

Political

Capital

technical competence
Technical Competence
  • Know the answers for relevant tech questions. Or know where to find the answers.
      • Have an opinion! Even if the opinion is “No opinion”.
      • Base opinions on shared values.
      • Present relevant information when appropriate.
      • Cite sources for backup.
  • Work harder than your peers.
      • Put in a full measure.
      • Stay focused.
      • Self-awareness, especially for strengths vs weaknesses.
  • Care.
communicator
Communicator
  • Know the value of B.L.U.F.
    • Strive for brevity, then ask “Want more details?”.
    • Know your audience.
  • Use relatable examples or analogies.
  • Keep ego out.
    • Remember, you’re communicating even when you

say nothing.

    • Differentiate fact vs. value statements.
  • Stay focused.
listener
Listener
  • Be respectful. Be “fully present”.
  • Good questioning skills involve:
    • Getting the specifics
    • Seek fact vs. value. Use open vs. closed questions.
    • Observing reaction
  • Good listening skills involve:
    • Acknowledging statements
    • Summarizing
    • Empathizing
  • Ninja secret: Understand the power of silence!
team builder
Team Builder
  • Tout team successes, not individual successes.
  • Preparedness for “Leadership Moments”.
      • Emergencies – a “clutch” player
      • Periods of upheaval or dramatic change
  • An informed, but dispassionate and

flexible opinion.

      • Knowing the options and their pros / cons
      • Open to other ideas / opinions
      • Knowing what the organization is trying to achieve
  • Leads to becoming the Go-To-Guy/Gal
professionalism
Professionalism
  • Lots of words:
    • engaged, competent, credible, accountable, honest, integrity, goal-oriented, autonomous, et al.
  • Care and respect:
    • Treating everyone as you’d like to be treated
      • Facilitate consensus and good decisions.
      • Mitigate conflict and confrontation.
      • Consistency and Constancy.
  • Personal presentation and Image:
    • Speech and dress
  • Don’t be “THAT GUY”.
    • Teach … with a positive attitude.
passive influence becomes political capital
Passive Influence Becomes Political Capital
  • Build political capital, so that you’re more likely to sway decisions when you make requests or express opinions.
  • Aim for basic competency in:
    • Technical credibility
    • Communication skills
    • Listening skills
    • Team building
    • Professionalism
  • Train to overcome your weaknesses or get an ally.
    • One weakness generally isn’t an obstacle.
    • Two or more weakness can be a big obstacle.
direct influence also known as persuasion
Direct Influence, also known as Persuasion
  • Swaying opinion through “appeals”:
    • Logical, a.k.a. “The Head”
    • Emotional, a.k.a. “The Heart”
    • Cooperative, a.k.a. “The Hands”
methods of direct influence

Alliances

Appealing up

Call in a debt / favor

Consultation

Direct Influence / Persuasion:

Methods of DIRECT Influence
  • Rational Appeal
  • Intimidation
  • Inspirational Appeal
  • Flattery

Influence is like …

banking…

and physics…

logical head appeals
Logical, Head Appeals
  • Rational Appeal versus Intimidation
  • When and How?
    • When your audience is rational
    • Build a case of rational facts
    • Make a careful SWOT analysis
    • Use a proposal or “suggestion” format (WIFM)
    • Make a pitch and then explicitly follow-up
  • Common mistakes include:
    • Too much detail/data without setting the big picture or major goal
    • Misunderstanding the interest of the audience
    • Failing to bounce the idea off of others ahead of time
    • Failure to align with the goals/needs of the audience
emotional heart appeals
Emotional, Heart Appeals
  • Inspirational Appeal versus Flattery
  • When and How?
    • When your audience is motivated by values
    • Appeals to our “better selves”
    • Requires strong, in-person delivery
    • Make a pitch and then explicitly follow-up
  • Common mistakes include:
    • Insincerity or hypocrisy
    • Double-standards
    • Failure to follow-up and follow-thru
cooperative hand appeals
Cooperative, Hand Appeals
  • Alliance | Consultation | Call in a debt / Favor
    • When and how?
      • When your audience is similarly inclined
      • Use WIFM or “Doing well by doing good”
      • Recognize the transactional nature
  • Appealing up
    • When and how?
      • Only in the face of serious obstacles or ethical breaches
      • Recognize the potential for “paybacks”
  • Common mistakes include:
    • Overuse
    • Failing to reciprocate
    • Only recognizing the transactional nature of the social bond
slide18

Summary: Convince Me

  • Dispelled Some Myths
    • Introverts and Extroverts
    • Natural-born Leaders
  • Influence that carries weight
    • Credibility, Communicator, Listener, Team Builder, Professional
  • Three appeals that persuade
    • Logical: the Head
    • Emotional: the Heart
    • Cooperative: the Hands
resources
Resources
  • http://www.ccl.org/leadership/index.aspx
    • My favorite leadership training organization
  • http://www.techrepublic.com/blog/tech-manager
    • Good on-line resource with lots of topical content and forums
  • http://www.sqlpass.org
    • Professional development vChapter
  • http://ForITPros.com
    • My professional development site specifically for IT pros
thank you q a time
Thank you! Q & A time
  • Send questions to me at: [email protected]
  • Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn at @kekline
  • Blogs at SQLblog.com, SQLMag.com, DBTA.com
  • IT leadership and professional development content at http://ForITPros.com
  • Technical content and Slides at http://KevinEKline.com/Slides/

THANK YOU!

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