Bulletin n o . 14

1. Bulletin no. 14 PRESENTATION:  This bulletin is not only to pay homage to my mother, Itala, who passed away to the other side, on the 20th of June of this year, 2007. This is also a way to transmitt to friends, the way I see the departures, the calm to face this moment and the courage to put her little hands in the final moments, in the hands of our friends, that from There, helped her in her transition. We grow up  little in every departure...and life on Earth seems to be even more important. Then comes the notion that times goes by very quickly and it's necessary to plant, plant and plant... and this is what I will keep doing, as now I have two little starts shining up in the sky, to wait for me: Fernando, my husband, and mom. Every bulletin, when  I sign this column, I always leave a hug to the reader. This time, I leave it to my mommy, with all my pride for being her daughter.   Kisses, and see you soon, mom. Sonia AND MOM IS GONE....

2. THE COURAGE... In august 2005, because of a simple lung x-ray (taken just because of a simple cold) it indicated that the stains were a sign of tumor: mom had a lung cancer although she never smoked). So from that day I started the battle not to let her know the truth and I am sure it was the best attitude. She was 80 years old, so why she had to know? To make her desperate for leaving  my father at the age of 88 then,  and make her think about the tragedy even before it happens. I followed my intuition, and it was like that: I brought my mother to my house in the last two months of her life, she thought it was like a vacation in her daughter's house. She was happy and convinced that she would get better from the cough that was bothering her a little. Everything happened calmly. Only two days before her departure, she began to be breathless, which was going to to get worse as I had been informed. So, it was time to take her to the hospital so that she would be comfortable to pass away. Our heart was small, but the wish to do the best for her was stronger. We took her to the hospital, knowing about the gravity and that we didn't have much time. All of a sudden, I, who had hidden the truth from her for almost a year, decided to tell her, in her last moments, all about it. I thought that she would pass away soon and that we wouldn't have said goodbye to each other, or even worse, that she could think that we abandoned her and suddenly she died. She was catholic, 81 years old, very smart and active. She was totally unaware that she would wake up in the Other Side etc. No. I felt that it was necessary for her to know that we knew it that that we did everything that it was possible. I don't know where I found the strength to have this conversation with her, which is forever in my mind:

3. “Mom...I want you to know that we did everything we could....” She looked at me in a strange way...and I continued “But you have a serious illness....” She, calmly - “which one?” “A tumor” She: “Where?” “In the lung...” She stopped a little, and calmly said: “Am I going to die?” “No, mom...nobody dies. Nobody dies...we continue to live....in the Other Side...” She: “How long will I be breathless?” “just a little....you'll sleep...” She: “And I won't wake up anymore?” “Yes, you will....but not in this Side...” She: “I think I'm scared...” “Don't be, mom....don't be. One day we will meet again...you'll wait for us...” She: “ And dad?” “He doesn't know anything....like you never did” She: “And Oswaldinho..?” (my brother) “He knew it, like I did” She: “And the doctors, didn't they know?” “They knew, mom....but I asked them to lie to you...to protect you...” The tears rolled down my face, she was so strong and calm. She: “Don't cry, dear daughter...” And continued: “I didn't want to leave you...” “We didn't want it to be like that either, mom!” She: “Your father, he won't put up with that for long....” “We know it....he'll follow you...” And consciously completed: She: “I have to ask carlos to take good care of you...otherwise I will come and pull his feet!” She joked. I laughed She: “Did you bringmy clothes?” (for the burial) “Don't worry about that, mommy!” She: “Get all my clothes and give them to someone who can benefit from it, you take care of my plants...” “Ok, mom...I will takecare of them. I will plant them in my garden...and take care like you always did” She: “And take care of your father” At this moment, I left the hospital room  crying and authorized the doctors to start the sedation. She would sleep and never wake up again. In a few minutes, she closed her eyes...we waited until her heart stopped, many hours later..... 

4. NEWS BEFORE AND AFTER....  In the days she left, around noon, I returned home. At night, exausted, with 4 sleepless nights, I still wanted to record: 7. German: “Must be with Dad!” Suggesting that I should take care of my dad. 8. Mr. German: “Arrived here, at home!” Sonia: “Mr. German! Good night!” It was very rewarding to know that mom had been taken home by them, as I had asked Fernando. 9. Sonia: “I said that...” Fernando's voice: “Everything is fine!” “Tá tudo em ordem!” Sonia: “I would put my mother under his supervision” 10. Fernando´s voice: “It was predicted there!” “Foi previsto lá!” Sonia: “Fernando, did you receive my mother?” In fact, see in audio number 4, he had promised to do so 11.Fernando´s voice: “the whole mother” “A mãe completa!” 12.Sonia: “Can you tell me where is she now?” Fernando´s voice: “I'm happy! Guardian!” “Tô contente! Guardião!” Here, he confirms that she would be under his protection. 13.Sonia: “I would like to know if she´s going to be at her burial, tomorrow” Fernando´s voice: “The hammock first!” “A maca está primeiro!” In December, I made a recording to ask  help to my spiritual friends and I registered: 1. Mr. German : “Who doesn't know is the father!” This confirmed that they knew all about it, since dad still didn't know about my mother's illness. 2. Sonia: “I wanted so much to ask for help...” Mr. German “You'll defend! It's your parents!” “Vai defender! São seus pais!” 3. Sonia: “I am not asking for cure, I just don't want her to suffer” Mr. German: “I knew! You're a daughter!” “Sabia! é filha!” 4. Then I turn to my deceased husband, Fernando: Sonia: “You have helped me a lot, I know...” Fernando's voice: “I'm commited!” “Me comprometo!” Sonia: “I count on you, on your help to my mother, okay?” 5. Fernando's voice: “Come with me!” “Vem cá comigo!” Confirming that she was going to pass away.  In other recording: 6.Sonia: “I also wanted to speak to Fernando, ask for help...” Mr. German's voice: “He inspires you!” “Ele lhe inspira!”

5. 14. Here, my husband answers before me Fernando´s voice: “she wasn´t there!” “Não estava!” Sonia: “Fernando, is she conscious?” It was relieving to know that she wasn´t conscious during her transition because this is a hard phase. I was happy with the news. 15. Sonia: “Did she wake up fine?” Fernando´s voice: “They left in peace” “Partiram em paz!” He suggests that she wasn´t awake yet, but passed away softly. 16. Fernando´s voice: “You can just see!” “Só se vê!” Sonia: “She´s my little flower that comes back!” 17. Fernando´s voice: “She'll hear” “Ela vai ouvir!” Sonia: “How is she? Tell me!” It meant that our conversation was being recorded in the Other Side too and that she would hear later. 18. Fernando´s voice: “I will tell! I came to get her!” “Vou dizer! Vim buscar!”  Sonia: “we are trying contact with my mother today!” 19. Fernando´s voice: “But wait. The mother is still shaking!” “Mas espere, a mãe ainda está tremendo!” 20. Sonia: “I thank you for conducting my mother!” Fernando: “You´ll have contact!” • 21. Fernando: “Listen, everything is fine!” • “Escuta, tá tudo em ordem!” • Fernando predicts that I am going to finish • recording and says • “It´s over!” -“Terminou!” • Sonia: “Thank you, Fernando, for the support!” • I talk to him a little and I remember the lack of • financial support for the researches. • Sonia: “the problem was still the same...” • Fernando´s voice: “Don´t say it!” • “Não fala!” • This suggests that maybe something is going to • happen.

6. UN UNCOMMON FACT: In the day of my mother´s burial, our friend Cris arrived in the cemitery bringing some weird news. In her way to the cemitery, listening to the CBN radio, she heard the news that a pilot had landed panicking, when he saw a flying saucer over São Paulo. In the afternoon news, the news was published. We laughed thinking that our friend Narisha had come to pick up mom. Coincidence or not... We never know...

7. SHE HERSELF SPEAKING: evidences: In the eighth day after her departure, I tried a contact, and...in her own voice, she answers: 24. Mother: “I´m speaking!” Sonia: “Hi, mom...!!!” 25. Unknown woman: “She´s goingh to answer!” 26. Sonia: “Did you meet Sirene, mother?” Mother: “Also came back!” My cousin Sirene died a week before. This confirmation points out all her concsioussness and that she keeps all the memories. 27. Mother: “It´s good to warn!” Sonia: “Mother, does Sirene want to send any message to Claudio?” Mother: “So many questions!” This way of speaking is typical of my mother, this is her! 28. Unknown: “She is! She is going to answer!” Sonia: “Did you meet aunt Lazinha?” 29. Sonia: “Dad is taking a lot of sedatives...” Mother: “What a life, isn´t it?” This complacency is also very typical of her. "20 days later, I put a song" My mother’s family was from Italy and she grew up listening to Italian music. Knowing that it would cheer her up, I played for her: “Com te partiró”, by Bocelli. Showing absolute awareness and fully recovered my mother says strong and clear: 1.  Bocelli singing: (...) Mother’s voice:  -”It’s your mother!” -”Sou sua mãe!” Sonia: -”Mom?” 2. Sonia: -”Mom...” Mother’s voice:   -”I love you!” -”Amo você!” Sonia: -”Are you all right?” 3.  Music: Bocelli singing... Mother’s voice:   -”Beautiful!!!” -”Bonito!!!” Sonia: -”Did you like the song, mom?” After that, I said good bye, absolutely sure that mom is more alive than ever!