Bully-Proofing Your School

1. Bully-Proofing Your School Session 2: Victims

2. Shifting Gears Bully-Proofing Your School As you enter, complete the Following… Choose and Read a poem. Answer the discussion questions in the forum that correlate to with the poem. (On Moodle) • Learning Goal • Learners will understand and be able to effectively implement a bully-proofing program. Benchmarks: Key Terms, Types of Victims, Characteristics of Victims, Bystanders, Bullying Behaviors, Normal Peer Conflict 2013 - 2014 Learners will observe students on campus and in the classrooms to determine conflicts as normal peer interaction or bullying. Community will observe and support children and staff. Objectives Reflect on your new learning and how you will implement it. Sum-It-Up Essential Question: What type of victims are there? Who is a victim? What are some certain characteristics that tend to make a person more likely to be a victim? NEXT STEPS: Session 3: Staff Interaction; Session 4: Scenarios; Session 5: Program Strategies, Consequences, and Reinforcements; Session 6: Planning Your Own School-Wide Program; Implementation Common Language: • Bullying, Passive Victim, Provocative Victim, Bully-Victim, Bystanders, Caring Majority, Caring Community

3. Review: Introduction and Session 1 • FL Statute: Requires school districts to adopt an official policy prohibiting bullying and harassment of students and staff on school grounds, at school sponsored events, and through school computer networks. • Lake County School’s District Initiative = Bully Proofing Your School • Common Language: Bully, Victim, Caring Majority, Caring Community • Bullying effects all of our students; Bully, Victim, Bystander • Bullying behaviors • Victim behaviors

4. The Bully-Proofing Your School Program • Designed to make the school environment safe for children both physically and psychologically

5. Bully-Proofing Your School Principles • It is the responsibility of adults to ensure school is a safe environment in which children can learn. • Bullies, when confronted with a caring community (a unified group of adults and peers within a school), are defused. • Bullying is not synonymous with conflict. • The Bully-Proofing program will be most successful if implemented comprehensively. • Punitive programs are only successful with bullying behaviors to a point. • There are many means to an end.

6. "They may forget what you said but they will never forget how you made them feel." Carol Buchner

7. Goal: • To educate staff members on the characteristics of the two types of victims and children who are not victimized, and to review the difference between normal peer conflict and bullying behavior.

8. A teacher was teaching her class about bullying and gave them the following exercise to perform. She had the children take a piece of paper and told them to crumple it up, stomp on it, and really mess it up, but be careful not to rip it. Then she had them unfold the paper, smooth it out and look at how scarred and dirty it was. She then told them to tell it they’re sorry. Now even though they said they were sorry and tried to fix the paper, she pointed out the scars will never go away no matter how hard they tried to fix it. That is what happens when a child bully’s another child, they may say they’re sorry but the scars are there forever. The looks on the faces of the children in the classroom told her the message hit home.

9. Characteristics of Victims • Children who are the victims of bullying are not randomly targeted. • Victims do not appear to be selected because of external deviations or disabilities, but because of personality type. • Victims of bullying are anxious, insecure children who lack social skills and the ability to defend themselves. • Victims are usually isolated children. • Victims may have suffered previous trauma or loss. • Victims don’t pick up on social cues well (which can be caused by a disability).

10. Two Types of Victims • Passive Victims • Provocative Victims • See Bully-Victims and Bystanders as well

11. Passive Victims: • Are the most common type of victim; easy to identify. • Lack social skills. • Cry easily. • Lack the ability to use humor to defuse conflict. • May be lonely and depressed. • Yield easily to bullying. • Are likely to be anxious and insecure. • Are unable to defend themselves.

12. Provocative Victims: • Comprise a much smaller group; are often difficult to recognize as victims. • Are restless children who irritate and tease others and don’t know when to stop. • Fight back in bullying situations but end up losing (ineffectual aggressors). • Are easily emotionally aroused. • Tend to maintain the conflict and lose with frustration and distress. • May be diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD). • Tend to make you feel like they deserve it.

13. Knowing what's right doesn't mean much unless you do what's right.” Theodore Roosevelt

14. Review of Bully-Victim Situations: • In a bully-victim situation there is: • An imbalance of power. • A difference in emotional affect (the victim is typically distressed and upset while the bully is calm and cool). • Conflict between two or more children who are not friends and do not usually play together. • A lack of compassion for the victim by the bully. • An explanation of the problem by the bully that lays blame on the victim.

15. Characteristics of Children Who Are Not Victimized • Children who manage conflict well and do not become the targets of bullies generally have the following characteristics: • They do not insist on their own way arbitrarily. They give a reason for disagreeing. • They apologize. • They compromise or offer a cooperative proposition. • They share or offer to share something later. • They barging and/or negotiate. • They change the topic.

16. “There is no gesture more devastating than the back turning away.” Rachel Simmons, Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls

17. The Caring Majority • These children are not bullies or victims • 85% of the children within the school • Often ignore the bulling behavior occurring around them, because they fear that it will be directed at them in turn if they get involved

18. Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best. -Bob Talbert

19. Enlisting the Caring Majority • Teach the Caring Majority to participate in the intervention as “helpers,” will be an integral factor in the success of this program • As part of the classroom curriculum, staff members will teach their students to be supportive of the victims of bulling and to tell an adult when they observe bullying behavior. • They will learn the difference between tattling and getting adult help.

20. “Often the right path is the one that may be hardest for you to follow. But the hard path is also the one that will make you grow as a human being.” Karen Mueller Coombs

22. Next Session: Staff Interaction • In the next session, staff members will identify their predominant conflict resolution styles and compare their style with those of the other members of the school staff. They will also learn some general guidelines for intervening in bullying situations, taking those styles into consideration.