Introduction

1. Introduction Meditation, Mindfulness and Insight Session 4 Compassion Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight

2. Compassion - quotes It is one of the most beautiful compensations in life… that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself. ……….Ralph Waldo Emerson Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight

3. Unguided Meditation • Choose any meditation that you have learned and • Diaphragmatic breathing • Body Scan • Mantra Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight

4. Awareness Forgiveness Stop Be Mindful Be Conscious Detach Disidentify Observe Think Inspiration Sacred Non Judgmental Skip the Drama Compassion Equanimity Negative Circumstance Awareness/ Mindfulness Acceptance Of things we can not change Insight Clarity Psychology Strategic Actions Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight

5. Do not suppress emotionsAnger, hatred, grief, jealousy! • Suppression • Pushing things away that we don’t want • Is counter to acceptance / letting go / non judgmental • What you can do: • Slow down your breath which calms and centers you • Become aware of it • Focus and observe how it impacts you physiologically – Breathing? Tightness in Chest? • Break apart the thoughts and emotions and find the core issue • Observing an emotion is different from BEING DRIVEN by it • Goal is NOT to ignore the emotions but avoid reactivity – (actions that you would regret) Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight

6. Balance - A violin string should not be too tight or too lose • Emotional driven vs. Emotional suppression • Acceptance vs. striving • Judgmental – Condemnation • Insightful decisions for YOU based on healthy values • Avoid judging OTHERS - Do not be dismissive of values that are not yours • Avoid creating unnecessary drama • Compassion for others and for yourself Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight

7. Pain is inevitable Suffering is optional The blue circles are The self inflicted suffering Attitudes Personal Filter Personal History Complexes ====== Sense of Doom === OR === Sense of Well Being Drama ===== Stories of Victimization Inadequacy Suffering ====== Mental Agitation Hopelessness Anxiety, fear Anger Pain Circumstances ========= Losing loved ones Illness Financial Loss Physical Pain Red Lights OR Mindfulness Meditation Clarity =========== Open Perspective Confidence Optimism Presence Equanimity OR The drama is a magnification of reality! 90% of the things that we worry about never happen Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight

8. The process of this class. • Develop Mental Discipline – through meditation practice • Your experiences during the week should constantly reinforce Understanding of • Awareness – “The observer” • As long as you ARE CONSCIOUS of your emotional state, you ARE aware • Letting go – Acceptance – Non Judgmental • No additional Drama that perpetuates mental agitation which is the second arrow - Unnecessary Suffering • No Dogma – No answers • Patient observation of your actions and reactions will lead you to answers that are best for you!!! Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight

9. Compassion Love anything. Hate anything. The effect you have on the external might be negligible, the effect on you, monumental. .... Cheri Huber – The Key Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight

10. Compassion from a meditative perspective • Compassion inspires you to do things for others that you wouldn’t do for yourself. • The person being compassionate receives tremendous benefit. • It is an experience • You feel it in your heart • It can be triggered by • Holding a new born child • Experiencing first love. • Can become an instinctive response to others • Others can sense your compassion through your body posture, smiles and “vibes” Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight

11. Compassionate Communication • Paying attention and really listening is a way to honor others. • Be sensitive to others “real” agenda. Are they asking for: • Advice or sympathy? • Even well intentioned advice can be taken for condemnation • Be aware!!! – Beware - Are your responses? • Helpful • Honest and truthful • For the right reason • With the proper tone at the right time • Showing interest in them or changing the spotlight to yourself? Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight

12. Compassion “All of those who are unhappy in the world are so as a result of their desire for their own happiness. All of those who are happy in the world are so as a result of their desire for happiness of others.” …. Shantideva Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight

13. Compassion as an antidote to anger • Anger and hatred change us physiologically and HARM US • Finding ground for compassion • The more thoughtless others are the more likely it is that they are suffering. • Battering husbands –were abused children • Focusing on compassion when appropriate liberates you from the impact of hatred. • This doesn’t mean that you have to love and admire everyone the same. • We all feel differently towards Mother Theresa and Hitler Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight

14. Compassion – stretching it • It is easy to have compassion for a starving child but hard to have for someone who insulted you. • Go where you can go and go slowly • Loved ones • Liked ones • Neutral ones • Mild dislike • Dislike strongly • We are neutral to most people and this is the easiest area to grow our compassion. • Sometimes just noticing, listening to and respecting others can be extremely supportive. Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight

15. Disinterested Love and Compassion • Without the need for reciprocity. • People sense the difference and respond accordingly • We need to be honest about it to ourselves. Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight

16. Not a door mat!! • Now when we talk about how we should develop tolerance towards those who harm us, we should not misunderstand this to mean that we should just meekly accept whatever is done against us. [Laughs] Rather, if necessary, the best, the wisest course, might be to simply run away--run miles away!--from "The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living" by His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Howard C. Cutler, M.D. Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight

17. The taste of compassion: An experience • It’s a feeling like calmness and serenity that can be cultivated by: • Quotes / Prayers • Compassion Meditation • Receiving love from others • Sending love to others • Chanting • Feeling a direct connection to those around you. • Ritual - Zen • Pictures of loved ones Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight

18. Experience love and compassion • Just look at the picture and breathe slowly. • Feel a sense of love and compassion • Everyone you ever met was once this precious. • Keep this picture in mind as you meet everyone. • Now close your eyes Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight

19. Compassion Meditation • Sit in an erect and dignified posture. • Bell - May all beings.. – relax all parts of your body – bell • Visualize something that represents unconditional love, light, love flow, all of the body. • Bell - Breathe naturally – feel your body filled with love. • Feel free of regrets about the past and fear of the future • On the in breath breathe in light and love. • On the out breath – compassion • the waves of love to someone close to you, to yourself, • to neutral people, heal your pain, • Send it to the whole world. • Show the next foil and read it before • Bell, stretch, open eyes, bring your awareness to the next activity. Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight

20. Shantideva On Compassion Altruism, that ocean of great good, That seeks to place all beings in the state of bliss, And every action for the benefit of all: Such is my delight and all my joy. Through these actions now performed, And by all the virtue I have just amassed, May all the anguish of every living being Be wholly scattered and destroyed! For all those ailing in the world, Until their every sickness has been healed, May I myself become for them The healer, companion, the medicine itself Raining down a flood of food and drink, May I dispel the ills of thirst and famine! And in the ages marked by scarcity and want, May I myself appear as drink and sustenance! Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight

21. Continued My body, thus, and all my goods besides, And all my merits gained and to be gained, I give them all away withholding nothing, To bring about the benefit of beings. I freely offer up my existence to all beings, Though I be harmed, insulted or disparaged, May I be free from all traces of self-cherishing! So let beings do to me Whatever does not bring them harm Whenever they catch sight of me, Let this not fail to bring them benefit. Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight

22. Question • Comments on your experiences through the picture, meditation or quote? Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight

23. Guidelines for meditation • Make it a habit • At least once a day even for one or two minutes • Find a balance between – Trying too hard and laziness • Non judgmentally - Eliminate unnecessary drama • Be kind to yourself! • There are times when you need to grieve and to be angry, don’t judge / condemn yourself for being human! • You are your own authority - Go at your own pace • Fill your mind in the first stage of meditation • Every meditation is a good meditation • Beginners mind • Be patient • Don’t make meditation one more thing that makes you feel bad about yourself! Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight

24. Important!!!Meditation an opportunity to practice letting go • Meditation produces minor annoyances • Boredom, Itchy nose, wandering minds • Annoyances become a chance for you to find equanimity in spite of these circumstances • You don’t want these negative things • But you can be calm, focused and relaxed in spite of them • See if you can create an internal or external smile anyway • Every time you get upset think: • “Wow, what a great opportunity to practice letting go!!” • Meditation provides the opportunity to practice your ability alter the state of your mind. Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight

25. Meditation -- Doing it right • “If your energy is continually going into • Patient self observation • From moment to moment, • Whether your attention is on the breathing or on other objects, and • You are bringing your attention back each time it wanders without giving yourself a hard time • Then you are doing it right” .. Jon Kabat-Zinn Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight

26. Stressful Situations • Simple Meditation techniques can make a TREMENDOUS impact to your physiological responses. • Become aware of your body – your breathing and posture • The Body Scan is GREAT for this • Breath slowly - Slow down your breathing and heart rate. • Sit up Straight • Release the tension in your body. • These things stop the adrenalin from flowing. • Leads you to a sense of calm and equanimity – in spite of the circumstances • When you are calm you can think more clearly and make better decisions. Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight

27. Dealing with Physical and Psychological Pain • Make the pain the point of focus and explore it • Does it change over time • How broad is the sensation • How severe • What is the pain tingling, hot cold • Does it pulsate • If it is intense and you need to change position make the change slowly and mindfully • Why does this work? • Your are not dramatizing the situation you are experiencing it • The experience is usually not as painful as the drama we create. • For psychological pain notice the impact on your body, tightness in chest, breathing, any sensation. • Get out of your mind and rejection and into your sensations. Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight

28. Guided Body Scan • Close your eyes • Ring Bell. May all beings have-Relax feet-Sit in an erect and dignified posture, • posture, back, head, hands, tongue, feet Bell • Move focus of your attention to your breath, • On the in breath focus on , On the out breath focus on -You are in a nurturing environment • Gently move the focus of your awareness to your toes • Feel the sensation, hot, cold, tingling, nothing • Now Gently move … feet, calves, thighs, back, chest, hands, arms, • If your mind wanders…. Nothing to do, nothing to become • Is there any pain… Relax, Be kind to yourself • Move focus of your attention to your breath, • Nothing to do, nothing to become • On the in breath focus on , On the out breath focus on • Keep eyes closed, bell, move fingers toes, Maintain your awareness. Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight

29. Guided Body Scan • Close your eyes • Ring Bell. May all beings have-Relax feet-Sit in an erect and dignified posture, • posture, back, head, hands, tongue, feet Bell • Move focus of your attention to your breath, • On the in breath focus on , On the out breath focus on -You are in a nurturing environment • Gently move the focus of your awareness to your toes • Feel the sensation, hot, cold, tingling, nothing • Now Gently move … feet, calves, thighs, back, chest, hands, arms, • If your mind wanders…. Nothing to do, nothing to become • Is there any pain… Relax, Be kind to yourself • Move focus of your attention to your breath, • Nothing to do, nothing to become • On the in breath focus on , On the out breath focus on • Read the poem on the next page. • Keep eyes closed, bell, move fingers toes, Maintain your awareness. Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight

30. "You do not have to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait. Do not even wait, be quite still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, and it will roll in ecstasy at your feet"                    --- Franz Kafka Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight