Basics of Conflict
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Basics of Conflict Management CRETE Day 2 Training Tricia S. Jones, Ph.D., Dept. of Psychological Studies in Educatio - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

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Basics of Conflict Management CRETE Day 2 Training Tricia S. Jones, Ph.D., Dept. of Psychological Studies in Education e-mail: [email protected] Critical Tools for Constructive Classrooms. Understanding Needs Based Conflict Positive Discipline Conflict Styles Collaborative Negotiation.

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Basics of Conflict ManagementCRETE Day 2 TrainingTricia S. Jones, Ph.D., Dept. of Psychological Studies in Educatione-mail: [email protected]

Critical tools for constructive classrooms
Critical Tools for Constructive Classrooms

  • Understanding Needs Based Conflict

  • Positive Discipline

  • Conflict Styles

  • Collaborative Negotiation

Basic needs
Basic Needs

  • Love and Belonging

  • Power

  • Freedom

  • Fun

  • Safety

Appropriate and inappropriate methods
Appropriate and Inappropriate Methods

  • Kids have appropriate and inappropriate ways to get their needs met.

  • Around the room are flip charts with the needs listed.

  • Grab a marker and write on the charts both appropriate and inappropriate things you see kids do to meet this need.

Discipline versus punishment


Immediate response

Stops a behavior

Demeaning, humiliating, physically painful, or about exerting adult power/control/authority

No long-term, positive effect


Immediate or no response

Stops or ignores the behavior

Respects the importance of the relationship with the child

Teaches or reinforces skills that have a long-term, positive effect

Discipline Versus Punishment

Tools for positive discipline
Tools for Positive Discipline

  • Use Firm limits Language

  • Use Encouraging Messages

  • Develop Logical Consequences

    • Related

    • Reasonable

    • Consistent

  • Use Responsibility Planning

Dealing with the angry child
Dealing with the Angry Child

  • Understand the “Desperation Cycle”

  • Follow Guidelines for Deescalating

  • Remember “Aftermath” is important

Desperation cycle
Desperation Cycle

  • Child is unable to communicate and becomes more desperate

  • Child acts out feelings through behavior instead of words

  • Child feels shame, anger or guilt, leading to more desperation

  • Adult gets emotional and may react in counterproductive ways

  • Implementing punishment increases guilt or resentment, increasing child’s desperation

Breaking the desperation cycle
Breaking the Desperation Cycle

  • 1. Make it private! Remove other people.

  • 2. Distract them (music, food, drink)

  • 3. Help child communicate feelings – ask

  • 4. Use active listening skills (SOLER, APQA) to LISTEN

    • silence is your friend

  • 5. Respect child’s need for space

  • 6. Maintain calm demeanor

The nature of conflict
The Nature of Conflict

  • Conflict is “a disagreement between two or more people who have differences in goals or methods for dealing with a situation”

    • Normal

    • Natural

    • Necessary

Functional and dysfunctional conflict

Functional (helpful or constructive)








Dysfunctional (not helpful or destructive)








Functional and Dysfunctional Conflict

Conflict styles
Conflict Styles

  • Conflict styles are the predominant ways that people deal with conflict.

  • Most people rely on one or two styles that are often defined by emphasis on concern for the self or concern for the other.

  • The goal of an effective conflict manager is to be able to use any conflict style when the situation demands.

Conflict styles1
Conflict Styles

  • Five Styles of Conflict




for Self




Concern for Other

Thomas and kilmann s styles
Thomas and Kilmann’s styles

  • Avoiding: Avoidance can be either physical and/or psychological

  • Accommodating: meeting the needs of the other person but ignoring your own needs.

Thomas and kilmann s styles1
Thomas and Kilmann’s styles

  • Competing: a win-lose orientation in which you try to maximize your gains

  • Compromising: “Split the Difference”

  • Collaborating: Problem-solving style in which the parties work together against the problem.

When each style is the best
When Each Style is the Best

  • Avoiding

    • When the issue is trivial to you

    • When there is no long-term relationship

    • When you are the low power party in a serious power imbalance

  • Competing

    • When the other will be very competitive

    • When important others expect you to compete

    • AND when the stakes are high

When each style is the best1
When Each Style is the Best

  • Accommodating

    • When the issue is trivial to you

    • When harmony in the relationship is all important

    • When you are the low power party in a serious power imbalance

    • When you want to build trust in the other by demonstrating a protection of their interests

  • Compromising

    • When there are truly finite resources

    • When there are no means to increase the divisible resources

When each style is the best2
When Each Style is the Best

  • Collaborating

    • When the issue is complex and requires creativity

    • When there is a long-term relationship

    • When their implementation of the decision is necessary

Principled negotiation
Principled Negotiation

  • Scholars from the Harvard Negotiation Project have suggested ways of dealing with negotiation from a cooperative and interest-based perspective. They call this approach “principled negotiation” because it rests on four assumptions or principles.

Separate the people from the problem
Separate the People From the Problem

  • As you identify the problem, make sure you can distinguish between the issues to be solved and the people involved. Try to:

    • understand their perceptions

    • monitor their emotions

    • communicate effectively

Focus on interests not positions
Focus on Interests NOT Positions

  • A position is a tangible outcome that someone argues for. An interest is the reason why that outcome is desired and an underlying concern about the problem.

    • there are usually multiple interests for any issue

    • you don’t have to have common interests to find a solution that meets them all

    • the more you understand your interests and the other party’s interests, the better able you are to find a solution or solutions that will produce mutual and lasting satisfaction.

Invent options for mutual gain brainstorm
Invent Options for Mutual Gain - Brainstorm

  • This is a process of creating as many solutions as possible BEFORE you evaluate them to decide which are the best options.

  • Otherwise, good ideas never have a chance to be suggested and discussed because people are too busy arguing over the first ideas introduced.

Find good criteria
Find Good Criteria

  • Choosing a good solution or solutions (remember you can have more than one), depends on making sure that the criteria for solutions are considered legitimate by the parties. The criteria come from

    • interests already identified by the parties, especially common interests shared by all parties

    • external rules or policies that must be followed