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Living in a Complaint Free World

Living in a Complaint Free World. Based on the book and movie by William Bowen. What will we look at today?. Introduction to the "complaint free" mindset How can this mindset make your life better-at work and at home.  Learn about the relationship between complaining and being assertive.

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Living in a Complaint Free World

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  1. Living in a Complaint Free World Based on the book and movie by William Bowen

  2. What will we look at today? • Introduction to the "complaint free" mindset • How can this mindset make your life better-at work and at home.  • Learn about the relationship between complaining and being assertive

  3. “We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think.”Buddha

  4. What is a complaint? On your card, write how you define a complaint. How do you know when someone is complaining?

  5. A complaint is more than a statement of fact—it is a complaint when you want something changed but are not talking to the person who can change it!

  6. “Complaints are like bad breath—we notice it when it comes out of someone else’s mouth but not when it comes from our own”

  7. Can we agree on this? • There is too much complaining in the world. • The state of the world is not the way we would like it. • Are these related? • We are focusing on what is wrong rather than focusing on the vision for a healthy, happy, harmonious world. • Think about the nightly news

  8. Impact of complaining: • Psychosomatic illness--67% estimated as a result of thinking sick • Dozens of research studies (positive and negative) • Forbes.com—7 of the top 7 prescription drugs are for illnesses that are exacerbated by stress • When you complain about your health, you are putting out negative statements that your body hears • Impact on our children

  9. How often do you complain? • If you complain more than once a month—you may be falling into the habit of habitual complaining • We become an “ouch” looking for a hurt • We notice complaints from others but not from ourselves

  10. Why do we complain? • To get sympathy • To gain attention • To avoid doing something • Misery not only loves company, but it derives validation from it **If we create a culture of no complaining, those chronic complainers become ostracized

  11. Is it ok to gossip? • Sure…as long as • What you are saying about the absent person is complimentary • You would repeat, word for word, what you are saying if the person was present

  12. Griping • Monty Python skit--Four Yorkshiremen • Do you want to be the winner? • Do people who are confident and secure brag? • Successful people have challenges, but they use them like a slingshot—the harder the time, the farther they pull the slingshot back and the higher they fly—but you have to release the “stone”

  13. Criticism tears someone down, and when we debase someone we actually give that person implicit permission to act in similar ways in the future

  14. As you become a happier person, You can raise the overall level of happiness in the world!

  15. What is the benefit… • What a person believes about their health leads to the belief becoming real for them • Our thoughts create our world and our words indicate our thoughts

  16. How does it work? Put on a bracelet Every time you catch yourself complaining or gossiping, move the bracelet over to the other arm Try this for 21 days

  17. 4 stages of change • Unconscious Incompetence • Conscious Incompetence • Conscious Competence • Unconscious Competence

  18. “but every great thing happened because someone complained about it…” • Martin Luther King, Jr— • “I have a dream…” • Robert Kennedy— • “There are those that look at things the way they are, and ask why? I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?” • Rosa Parks didn’t complain about where she could not sit—she moved to where she should sit • Dissatisfaction is the beginning, but it can’t be the end!

  19. What can you do? • Read the book • Take the challenge • “No Moan Mondays” • Take the time to breathe before you speak—especially in a challenging situation • Don’t talk about what is wrong—focus on how you would like it to be—what is BEYOND the problem

  20. Small changes Instead of… Try… Opportunity Get to Challenge Friend/Teacher Signal Request Journey • Problem • Have to • Setback • Enemy • Pain • Complaint • Struggle When your mouth stops expressing negative thoughts, your mind will find other, happier thoughts to create

  21. Be a grape… • UvaUvamVidendoVaria Fit • One grape changes color when it sees another. • One grape will ripen and in doing so, send out a vibration, enzyme, fragrance that signals to the other grapes that it is time to ripen. • Be the grape that changes the vineyard!

  22. “A Complaint Free World: How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the Life You Always Wanted” Will Bowen

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