SOME THOUGHTS ON PASTORAL COUNSELING (Part I)

1. SOME THOUGHTS ON PASTORAL COUNSELING (Part I) Chapel Counsel from Chaplain Councell Associate Director Adventist Chaplaincy Ministries

2. WHOLE PERSON Physical Spiritual Mental SEXUAL Relational Emotional Volitional

3. MASLOW’S PYRAMID OF NEEDS

4. JOHARI WINDOW

5. THEORIES • Ego Analysis (Sigmund Freud) • Growth Resources (Adler, Rank, From, Horney, Sullivan, Jung and Carl Rogers) • Behavior-action Therapies • Reality (William Glasser) • Rational-Emotive (Albert Ellis) • Radical stimulus-response (B. F. Skinner) • Transactional Analysis (Eric Berne) • Gestalt (Fredrick Perls) • Holistic Health, Biofeedback and Body Therapies • Family Systems Therapy (Virginia Satir) • Feminist Therapies (Charlotte Ellen and Jean Miller) • Eclectic – help from combinations of approaches • Pastoral (Christian) Counseling • Biblical-based, conservative (Jay E. Adams • Brief Therapy to Promote Change (AACC, Gary Oliver) • Solution-focused (Charles Kollar) • Theophostic (God’s light) Ministry – freed from lies by truth

6. CHRISTIAN Addresses spiritual Created and fallen Depends on the Holy Spirit and Scripture External reference and norm for living Teaches love of God, grace, forgiveness, trust and disciplined life (fruits of the Spirit) Directive SECULAR Disavows spiritual Evolutionary origin Relies on man’s theories of social science Internal reference and norms for living Catharsis for healing Helps people adjust and cope on their own Non-directive COMPARISON

7. PASTORAL COUNSELOR • Unconditional positive regard for client • Genuine, but responsible caring • Respectful, never demeaning or insulting • Attentive listener able to accurately reflect what is communicated • Accepting, empathetic and understanding • Stays “neutral” and does not react emotionally to client’s emotions • Shares truth gently, teaches rather than preaches • Honors and upholds “privileged communications” / confidentiality

8. COUNSELING STAGES Counseling is a process by which a person is assisted to behave in a more rewarding manner. The process is future-oriented, but happens by in the present by the following sequential stages: • Initial contact and contract • Rapport-building; relationship facilitation • Plan for problem-solving (diagnosis) • Goal identification • Implementation of strategy • Follow-up and evaluation • Termination

9. COUNSELING PROCESS • Conduct the counseling in a professional setting • Establish rapport, trust and a working contract • Insure communications are understood • Determine the situation and facts (you can take notes during the session) • Allow the client to discover insights and come to conviction about their rightness • Help the client analyze their insights and make personal choices in their best interest • Assist the client to develop action steps for positive change NOTE: The counseling process parallels making a disciple of Jesus

10. TRIANGULAR TRAP! Persecutor ? Rescuer Victim H E L P! HELP! Help!

11. SITUATIONAL AWARENESS • The “presenting problem” is usually not the real issue; it is a client’s “test balloon” • Who owns the problem? • Watch for congruence between words, body language and behaviors • Stay focused on client’s issue, not your agenda • Beware of the question, “What do you think I should do?” • Whose choice is it? Are you willing to assume responsibility for the outcome and your client when you tell them what to do?

12. AWARENESS WHEEL IMPRESSION WITHOUT EXPRESSION = DEPRESSION

13. COMMUNICATION • Process of transferring information • Three basic elements • Source (sender) • Message • Receiver • Messages are influenced by • Content • Means of transmitting (verbal, nonverbal and symbolic) • Interpretation (perceptions based on personality, experience, filters for encoding and decoding) frame of reference and motivation • Barriers to communication • Physical • Psychological • Effective communication occurs when the message has the same meaning for both the sender and receiver.

14. “I” MESSAGES • “I” messages assume responsibility for one’s self • Describe • Specific behavior • Tangible effect a behavior has on you • How you feel in feeling terminology • Examples • I feel…, because…, and I want… or don’t want… • When that happens, it affects me… and I feel… • “You” messages tend to blame or find fault NOTE: Much humor is thinly veiled “put-downs”

15. REFLECTIVE RESPONSES Objective: Help the client understand their feelings and how they effect the issue • Methods • Questions (“Can you tell me more?” “Why do you ask?”) • Paraphrasing • Clarifying • Trailing (restating the last word and waiting for client to continue) • Reflecting (mirroring back) phrases • “You feel…, because…” • “I sense…” • “What I hear you saying is…” • “I get the impression that you are…” • “Let’s see if I understand what you said. Are you telling me…?” • “I’m confused. Can you tell me more?” • “Is that what you mean?” • When appropriate, confront using “I” statements • “I see you as…” • “From what you just said I wonder if…”

16. PERCEPTIONS Objective: Listen carefully to perceptions and help client see them from a different perspective • Perceptions are interpreted ideas about one’s self, relationships, life, the world and God • Perceptions often are formed from early childhood experiences and messages that stick with us into adulthood; can be very limiting • Perceptions are reality to the holder • Perceptions may not be reality, and generally are only partially true • Perceptions tend to subjective views as a “dark cloud” or “rosy tinted,” rather than objectively

17. “ENERGY” CONSTRUCTIVE Control and Confidence Achievement and Success INTERNALIZED EXTERNALIZED Suicide Homicide DESTRUCTIVE ANGER

18. GET HELP • Drunk or “high” clients – do not counsel • Irrational anger, threatening behavior • Talk about committing suicide • Seizures or other manifestations of repetitious, disturbed mannerisms • Seductive sexual behaviors • Requests for money or other handouts • Whenever you lose your objectivity and become emotionally involved with the client’s issue or person NOTE: You are not a “messiah” who can solve everyone’s problem

19. REFERRALS • Maintain a list of local helping agencies • Get acquainted with helping professionals • Obtain client’s consent to make a referral • Arrange an appointment; introduce client to the new professional • Share your general assessment, but no specific details that would violate confidentiality • Do not leave a person threatening suicide alone • Continue pastoral and spiritual care

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