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Living Domestic Violence

Living Domestic Violence. PRISONERS OF A VERY PRIVATE WAR. Pattern of multiple coercive behaviors Used by one person to gain power and control over another in an intimate relationship. May include: Verbal abuse Emotional control Medical neglect Economic control Legal intimidation

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Living Domestic Violence

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  1. Living Domestic Violence PRISONERS OF A VERY PRIVATE WAR

  2. Pattern of multiple coercive behaviors Used by one personto gain power and control overanother in an intimate relationship May include: Verbal abuse Emotional control Medical neglect Economic control Legal intimidation Psychological intimidation Stalking/monitoring/ isolation Sexual assault Physical violence *(See “Shades of Gray” handout) Domestic Violence

  3. Domestic Violenceis not… • Resistance Violence • Pre-emptive Violence • Situational Violence • Pathological Violence • Mutually Toxic BY DEFINITION, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE CANNOT BE MUTUAL!

  4. Assumes: Only physical violence is abuse Lack of connection to the abuser The victim’s community supports separation The victim has all necessary resources for safety/independence Ignores: Conditioning from non-physical forms of abuse Social conditioning to “fix” relationships “Prison guard” vested in victim’s imprisonment and: Social allies Institutional allies “But if my partner hit me, I wouldn’t take it…I’dleave!”

  5. ONE IMPORTANT DIFFERENCE Prisoners of War know the potential risks of going to war… Victims of Intimate Partner Violence DO NOT!

  6. The Kiss of the Frog Prince If you put a frog in boiling water, it is going to jump out… If you put the frog in a pot of water, then slowly bring the water up to boil… IT WILL BOIL TO DEATH! (No frogs were harmed in the making of this slide.)

  7. The Abuser is particularly expert at: • Ignoring the victim’s personal boundaries • 2) Ignoring the victim’s personal feelings

  8. Cycle of Violence Calm Phase Tension-Building Phase Contrition Phase Explosion Phase

  9. Domestic Violence Child Abuse Mental Illness Substance Abuse Co-occurring Issues

  10. Making the break… Power and Control

  11. Courts: The Final Barrier,The Ultimate Authority V S RIGHT TO ACCESS RIGHT TO PROTECT

  12. “You Can’t Legislate Emotional Abuse!” The Geneva Convention set up to protect POW’s: • RIGHTS • PROHIBITIONS • Including protections against forms of emotional abuse… PROTECTIONS THAT WOULD BE USEFUL FOR VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND THEIR CHILDREN!!

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