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The Happiness Trap Act anwenden fuer Gesundheit , Wohlbefinden und Lebensfreude Dr Russ Harris

The Happiness Trap Act anwenden fuer Gesundheit , Wohlbefinden und Lebensfreude Dr Russ Harris. www.actmindfully.com.au www.thehappinesstrap.com. Quick Assessment. Introductions Life Drain – p2 Bull’s Eye – p4. About ACT. The name The origin The aim Inevitable?.

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The Happiness Trap Act anwenden fuer Gesundheit , Wohlbefinden und Lebensfreude Dr Russ Harris

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  1. The Happiness TrapAct anwendenfuerGesundheit, Wohlbefinden und LebensfreudeDr Russ Harris www.actmindfully.com.au www.thehappinesstrap.com

  2. Quick Assessment • Introductions • Life Drain – p2 • Bull’s Eye – p4

  3. About ACT • The name • The origin • The aim • Inevitable?

  4. Happiness Myths - #1 Happiness is our natural state

  5. Happiness Truths - #1 The natural state for human beings is an ever-changing flow of emotions.

  6. Happiness Myths - #2 Happiness means ‘feeling good’

  7. Happiness Myths - #3 If you’re not happy, you’re defective

  8. Happiness Truths - #3 If you’re not happy, you’re normal!

  9. Famous Quotes • Life is spelt H.A.S.S.L.E.—Albert Ellis • Life is difficult.—M. Scott Peck • Life is suffering.—Buddha • Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them. – Henry Thoreau • Shit happens!—Anonymous

  10. The Big Question: Why is it so bloody hard to be happy?

  11. The Challenge We Face So How Can ACT Help? Let’s do a little exercise Life is difficult A full human life = the full range of emotions The normal, healthy human mind naturally amplifies pain 11

  12. Be Present Mindfulness Psychological Flexibility Do What Matters Open Up

  13. Story Time!

  14. Happiness = • ‘Being present, Opening up & Doing what matters’ • Mindful, values-based living

  15. What Is Mindfulness? Paying attention - with openness, curiosity and flexibility

  16. The Benefits of Mindfulness • handle pain • connection • less worrying • less judgmental • less reactive

  17. The Benefits of Mindfulness • self-awareness • self-control • self-acceptance • balance • calm

  18. The Benefits of Mindfulness • peak performance • emotional intelligence • relationships • satisfaction & fulfilment

  19. ‘Negative’ Thinking Myths • ‘Negative’ thoughts are unnatural & abnormal • ‘Negative’ thoughts are harmful • Your thoughts control your actions • Your thoughts will manifest in reality • Positive thinking is the answer!

  20. ‘Negative’ Thinking Facts • ‘Negative’ thoughts are natural & normal • In ‘mindfulness’, no thought is harmful. • Thoughts influence, but don’t control your actions • Thoughts only manifest in reality if and when you act on them. • Positive thinking can be helpful, but it’s over-hyped and overrated.

  21. The Positive Affirmation Myth • 2009 study in Psychological Science • J. V. Wood, J.W. Lee, W.Q. Perunovic • ‘Positive Self-Statements: Power for some, peril for others’ • Let’s try it for ourselves

  22. The ‘I’m Not Good Enough’ Story • What’s yours? • Let’s do some defusion

  23. In A State of Fusion, Thoughts Are • THE TRUTH • COMMANDS • GREAT ADVICE • REALITY • THREATS • HOOKS

  24. Defusion • Thoughts are … • WORDS AND PICTURES • May or may not be true • Definitely NOT commands • May or may not be good advice • Definitely NOT threats • Easy to unhook from

  25. But What If A Thought Is True? Workability

  26. Defusion Techniques • I’m having the thought that • Sing your thoughts • Silly voice • Computer screen • Thank your mind • Name the story • Thoughts on cards • Leaves on a stream

  27. Warning • If you start misusing defusion to try to get rid of painful thoughts or feelings, you will soon be disappointed!

  28. The Aim of Defusion Is NOT • to get rid of unwanted thoughts • to reduce painful feelings

  29. Fill In Page 6 Which Thoughts To Defuse? • Workability • If workable, use it • If unworkable, defuse it

  30. Be Present Psychological Flexibility Do What Matters Open Up

  31. Do What Matters • Act on your values • Values are ‘desired qualities of behaviour’

  32. Values Are Not: • Rules, commandments, or codes of conduct • What you want or need from others • ‘Shoulds’ or ‘musts’ • Obligations

  33. Properties of Values • Here and now • Freely chosen • Dynamic and evolving • Never completed

  34. Properties of Values • Often need prioritising • Never need justifying • ?Virtues?

  35. Goals or Values? • Nurturing, maintaining and caring for my body • Lose 10 kg • Get a great job • Being helpful, friendly and responsible

  36. Goals or Values? • Buy a house • Being supportive, protective, caring for my family • Get good grades • Curiosity, learning, persistence

  37. Goals or Values? • Being sensual and intimate • Have an orgasm • Have children • Being caring, kind, loving

  38. Goals or Values? • Win the match • Playing enthusiastically, fairly, skillfully • Being creative • Write a book • Why does this distinction matter?

  39. Trickier: Goals or Values? • Be rich • Be generous • Be famous • Be slim

  40. Trickier: Goals or Values? • Be respected • Be respectful • Be loved • Be loving • Be successful

  41. What Is Success? • Culture says: Achieving your goals! • Alternative definition: Living by your values!

  42. "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their skin, but by the content of their character." -- Martin Luther King, JrAug 28, 1963

  43. The Sweet Spot - part 1 • Bring to mind a memory that conveys some of the sweetness and richness of life • Make it vivid • Make room for all the feelings that arise (sadness often shows up) • Share it with your partner

  44. The sweet spot – part 2 • What does this memory reveal about what matters to you? • How were you treating yourself, others, the world around you? • What personal qualities were you showing? • What does this suggest about the way you’d like to behave, or the things you’d like to do, moving forwards?

  45. Choosing Values • Can be said in one or two words • No ‘right or wrong’ values • Research? • Many useful values! Here are a few:

  46. Choosing Values • Compassion • Acceptance • Forgiveness • Kindness • Gratitude • Altruism • Optimism • Contribution

  47. Be Present Mindfulness Psychological Flexibility Do What Matters Open Up

  48. Fill in P9, top right: relationship values Relationships101 • How do you see the other person?

  49. Question: • Can’t we just get rid of all those difficult/painful thoughts and feelings?

  50. Happiness Myths - #4 • The best way to be happy is to get control of your thoughts and feelings • reduce the ‘negative’ ones • increase the ‘positive’ ones

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