April 21st , 2011 Vol. 2: Issue 7

1. April 21st , 2011 Vol. 2: Issue 7 Riverview PantherTimes April Fools Day FamousPranks By Mykala Mortensen There have been multiple pranks pulled on this one famous day. Here are a few good ones. Taco Liberty Bell: In 1996, Taco Bell took out a full-page advertisement in The New York Times announcing that they had purchased the Liberty Bell to "reduce the country's debt" and renamed it the "Taco Liberty Bell". When asked about the sale, White House press secretary Mike McCurry replied tongue-in-cheek that the Lincoln Memorial had also been sold and would henceforth be known as the Lincoln Mercury Memorial. Three-dollar coin: In 2008, CBC Radio program As It Happens interviewed a Royal Canadian Mint spokesman who broke "news" of plans to replace the Canadian five-dollar bill with a three-dollar coin. The coin was dubbed a "therein", in line with the nicknames of the country's one-dollar coin (commonly called a "loony" due to its depiction of a common loon on the reverse) and two-dollar coin ("toonie"). Spaghetti trees: The BBC television program Panorama ran a famous hoax in 1957, showing Swiss harvesting spaghetti from trees. They had claimed that the despised pest, the spaghetti weevil, had been eradicated. A large number of people contacted the BBC wanting to know how to cultivate their own spaghetti trees. It was, in fact, filmed in St Albans. In 1987, an audience polling group of 10 engaged men on Card Sharks was asked how many of them would eat real ants dipped in chocolate if their fiancé asked them to. Afterwards, one of the men actually was asked to do so by his fiancé and reluctantly complied, only to learn afterwards that it was just an April Fools' gag. Attention! Do NOT try this at home! Or anywhere, really… Brought to you by Wikipedia. April Fools History   Did you know that unlike most of the non-foolish holidays, the history of April Fools Day— sometimes called All Fools Day— is not actually clear. The closest point in time that can be identified as the beginning of this tradition was in 1582 in France. And it was celebrated for eight days, beginning on march 25. With the reform of the calendar under Charles IX the Gregorian calendar was introduced and New Years Day was moved to January 1st. However communications being what they were in the days when the news traveled by foot, so many people did not receive the news for several years. Others, the more obstinate crowd, refused to accept the new calendar and continued to celebrate the new year on April 1st . These backwards folks were labeled as fools by the general populace. This harassment evolved over time into a tradition of prank playing on the first day of April. The tradition eventually spread to England and Scotland in the 18th century. It was later introduced to the American colonies of both English and French. Thus April fools day became a international fun fest. By Austin Quigley & Brandon Broughton

2. Disaster In Japan By Taylor Porter It's been a week since a massive earthquake and tsunami devastated a large part of eastern Japan killing at least 6,548 people. While much of the attention remains focused on the crippled Fukushima number one nuclear plant, Japan's government has also begun looking at what comes next. At 2:46 p.m. March 18, the disaster-hit north of Japan paused. Survivors bowed their heads and rescue work stopped for just one minute. Japan marked the one-week anniversary of the combined earthquake and tsunami disaster with a grim statistic: the death toll passed that of 1995's earthquake in Kobe and it's likely to keep rising with more than 9,000 unaccounted for. The disaster displaced some 380,000 people, who are currently living in over 2,000 shelters. Friday, Yoshihiro Murai, the governor of hard-hit Miyagi prefecture, suggested they might move to other parts of Japan. Murai says there are 220,000 people homeless in his prefecture, and the local government will not be able to provide temporary housing for them any time soon. He says he will ask survivors to consider moving so they can enjoy better living conditions. Brought to you by Voanews.com Tunneling Platypuses 3:In Outer Space By: Jake Hagan In his story is just zipping around in space looking for a new planet to live on. After the Earth had been destroyed, the platypuses were swimming in space with the black matter and that stuff looking for a new planet to destroy. As they saw Pangea, they decided to circle the planet and land. It was very weird because there where little doggies that kept on trying to kill them. But they where not a threat to them. They where just walking along when gigantic kitty people hoped out of the bushes ambushed them and took them to their leader. As the kitty people tied them to sticks, one of the1 billion platypuses managed to escape them and run into the bushes, somehow unseen by the kitty people. As the 1 billion platypuses follow the kitty people, the platypuses realized they were not that smart. They were only carrying 3 platypuses. They sprang into action and started beating them up. One of the people tried to stab the platypus with a sticky thingy, but the platypus snapped it in half. They all ran into the bushes. The kitty people held a meeting the decided to launch a nuclear war against the platypuses just like Obama. The platypuses knew about this meeting because they were sitting in the front row! They prepared for battle, but then giant ships came. They said something about a rock, so the platypuses blew up a bunch of stuff. They left and watched the world blow up, but they were back where they started in the beginning of the story! THE END

3. She looked at him stunned. Jennifer asked him, “How are you still alive?” An Old Friend Returns She looked at him stunned. Jennifer asked him, “How are you still alive?” He looked at her and responded emotionless, “I will show you later.” She replied, “Ok but make it soon.” He nodded as in saying ‘I will try’. He told Jennifer to stand up and she did. He showed her where all her weapons were and added a few new ones. Her weapons were; a bow with red tips and holes for knives, 8 throwing knives, 5 smoke bombs, her special daggers, and the elemental sword of the largest Culas. She looked at him and asked, “What are we going to do now?” He looked at her and signaled to follow him. They walked over into a hidden community and he guided Jennifer into an arena. He looked at her and said, “Here is where rouges like us to commence battle. Do you want to try?” She looked at him kind of scared and said, “Um… Sure.” He pointed to a girl and said, “She looks new just like you so you two will battle.” Jennifer smiled and said, “Ok I am ready to fight her now. Is she ready?” He smiled and said, “I will see.” The other opponent was ready and they were going to battle. Jennifer met her and found out her name was Rue. She looked very similar to Jennifer except she was slightly smaller. They learned the rules to battling in the arena. There was only one. No killing your opponent. They both got into the arena. In the arena you can only use one weapon. Both of the people commencing in battle decided on bows and arrows. They got to use there own bow and were supplied with 50 arrows for battle. They commenced in battle and Rue instantly shot an arrow at Jennifer. Jennifer barely dodged the arrow and thought to her self ‘I shouldn’t under-estimate Rue; she seems to be a master with bow and arrows.’ Rue shot another arrow at Jennifer and hit her leg. Jennifer shot an arrow at Rue and hit her arm. Rue shot two more arrows and hit Jennifer in the other leg and one of her arms. Jennifer was weakened badly but shot an arrow and got Rue in the stomach. They were both injured badly but could still fight. Rue could shoot arrows twice as fast as Jennifer. Rue shot two arrows, the first one missed but the second one hit Jennifer in the stomach. Jennifer shot another arrow at Rue and hit her in the neck. The match ended with a draw. They were weakened terribly but were both healed in about an hour. Jennifer was guided back to the hut. Jennifer looked at her guide and said, “How are you still alive Pickelitis?” Pickelitis looked at her and said, “That’s not my name anymore.” She looked shocked at him and said, “What is your new name?” He looked at her and replied, “Its Richard.” Jennifer nodded accepting his new name. Richard explained how he is still alive. He showed Jennifer a room filled with clones of him. After a few hours of explaining Jennifer was able to make clones of herself. She made two clones exactly like her. They were tested out in battle; shooting arrows and battling with swords and daggers. One of them was better with arrows and one with swords and daggers. Both were better with their special abilities (swords and daggers, bows and arrows) then Jennifer. The one that was better with bow and arrows is named April. The one that’s better with swords and daggers is named Jordan. Both clones are girls just like the original Jennifer. The clones and Jennifer all trained for eight hours and improved skills extremely. The clones have a special area for recharging called the Restoration Area or R. A. for short. Richard showed Jennifer how to work the Restoration Pods or R. P. for short. Tomorrow came and Jennifer and Richard went to the arena to battle after checking the R. P.’s healing on the clones of Jennifer. They were almost completely finished so after they returned from The Arena of Rouges the clones would be healed. They arrived at the arena and saw Rue. They went up to Rue and started talking to each other. Jennifer said, “Want to battle again today?” Rue just smiled as in saying ‘Yes I do want to battle you again. You were a formidable opponent.’ Jennifer took that as a yes and said, “Ok but today do you want to battle with swords, daggers, or knives?” Rue smiled slightly for a moment and said, “Daggers please.” Jennifer smiled and replied happily, “Ok, Good luck Rue.” Rue replied, “Good luck.” After a few minutes it was time to battle with Rue. They had there own daggers to use. Rue had a pair of Mainz Blades. Jennifer wondered ‘How did she get those? They were used by Ancient Romans. They are steel just like the ones King Azeal has. Did she steal them? That’s possible considering this is a hideout for Assassins, Thieves, Secret weapons or Super Soldiers like me able to kill thousands of people, Mercenaries, Inventors of Clones and other technology not available to regular people and kings, and other outcasts. She probably is a Assassin given her skills of the bow and arrows which is their main killing weapon.’ To be continued in story8: Rue’s past and A new ally. By Ben Smulo Brandon Broughton

4. Chapter 2: Father!?!? [Drew’s POV] My sister is so annoying. She always gets her way. If her life was better, I’d be pulling pranks 24-7! These girls named Kat, Eve, and Ashlee really like me, and bully Sophia all the time. I mean they REALLY like me. Once, I saw them huddled around a picture of me. And they were drooling! Girls should NOT drool! Anyways, Sophia and I were just about to go to bed when the power went out. “Great, things just get better and better! Stupid storm…” I heard Sophia say right before some lighting flash near the window. I jumped in shock. Startled, I said, “That nearly gave me a heart attack!” She said, “You’re such a wimp Drew…” I imagine she rolled her eyes, but I couldn’t see. Lightning flashed again and she flung herself at me, screaming. “You’re the wimp!” I exclaimed in surprise. Shaking in fright, she said, “I saw someone in the window!!!” I looked up in time to see that she was right! The person knocked on the window. Our necklaces, the only thing we had left of our parents, glowed. Sophia’s necklace is a black and red in a broken and stitched heart design. Mine is a black and white skull, broken in half. (I just don’t understand my parents fashion.) Anyways, after he knocked, Sophia started speaking in some random language. That was just plain weird, since she only speaks English. I soon realized I could understand what she was saying. She said, “Who are you, Traveler of the Night? We will not let you in until we know who the heck you are!”CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE I

5. Continued… I realized this random person was a man, for I could hear him just as clearly as if he were in the room. He said, “My name is Thunder. Can you please let me in? I have info you might want to know!” I ran to let him in, knowing Sophia wouldn’t object. “What do you know?!?!” I said, realizing I spoke in the same strange language. “I know your father,” he said calmly. “What?!?!” Sophia and I said at the same time. “I know him quite well. In fact, I am him,” Thunder said. “WHAT?!?!” We both screamed. By Mykala Mortensen To Be Continued… Popularity Of iPods Have you ever wondered exactly how popular iPods are? So far they have sold over 304 million iPod from their release in 2001. They sell about 33.7 million iPods a year. In a survey 47% of iPod sales were to teenagers. The remainder of sales were to adults or young children. By Nathan Ross & Vanessa Barbee

6. Words for crossword Eggs Lily Chick Bunny Basket Parade Easter Flowers Daffodils

7. You just have to live life not caring what other people think and shake of the drama and prove to them your better then they think you are. “Don’t let what you can do interfere with what you can do.” – Unknown Author “Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.” If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes. – St. Clement of Alexandra Be the voice of others who can’t speak for themselves.

8. Funny Road Signs and Student Art So many people liked the funny road signs from last issue, that I decided to make another! Here are some more funny road signs!!!!!!! Road Signs brought to you by Matthew Nunes Staff: Editor: Taylor Porter Ben Smulo Vanessa Barbie Matthew Nunes Josh Smulo Nathan Ross Jake Hagen Austin Quigley Mykala Mortensen Brandon Broughton Editor-in-Chief: Mr. Olson