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Power Point Reference

Power Point Reference. This slide show was created by Donald Kachur Professor Emeritus of Education, Illinois State University 309/824-4561 dskachu@ilstu.edu. You might be employed by a school if….

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Power Point Reference

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  1. Power Point Reference This slide show was created by Donald Kachur Professor Emeritus of Education, Illinois State University 309/824-4561 dskachu@ilstu.edu

  2. You might be employed by a school if… you want to slug the next person who says to you, “Must be nice to work 8 a.m. to 3:20 p.m. and have summers off!”

  3. Have you ever thought? Half the people you know are below average. Look around you!

  4. What words REALLY mean! WRINKLES Something other people have. You have character lines.

  5. Here’s a thought! Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.

  6. Puns and Fun A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

  7. You might be employed by a school if… when out in public you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior.

  8. Have you ever thought? What was the best thing before sliced bread?

  9. A play on words? A man rushed into a busy doctor’s office and shouted, “Doctor! I think I’m shrinking!” The doctor calmly responded, “Now, settle down. You’ll just have to be a little patient!”

  10. Here’s a thought! When everything’s coming your way, you may be in the wrong lane.

  11. Puns and Fun Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

  12. Have you ever thought? Why is it that doctors call what they do “practice”?

  13. You might be employed by a school if… you believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, “Boy, the kids sure are mellow today!”

  14. A funny story I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any!

  15. Have you ever thought? Why can’t they make the whole plane out of what they make the black box?

  16. Puns and Fun When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.

  17. Here’s a thought! We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull…some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

  18. A funny story! With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed recently. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote “The Hokey Pokey,” died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.

  19. You might be employed by a school if… you can’t have children because there’s no name you could give a child that wouldn’t bring on high blood pressure the moment you heard it uttered.

  20. Have you ever thought? Why is a person who invests money called a “broker”?

  21. Here’s a thought! A truly happy, optimistic person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

  22. Have you ever thought? What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?

  23. What words REALLY mean! SECRET Something you tell to one person at a time.

  24. A funny story The teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his numbers. “Yes,” he said. “I do. My father taught me.” “Good! What comes after three?”“Four,” answers the boy. “What comes after six?”“Seven.”“Very good,” says the teacher. “Your dad did a good job. What comes after ten?” “A Jack!” replies the little boy.

  25. Here’s a thought! You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

  26. Puns and Fun A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat!

  27. You might be employed by a school if… meeting a child’s parent instantly answers the question, “Why is this kid like this?”

  28. Have you ever thought? Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren’t they just stale bread to begin with?

  29. Have you ever thought? Why do drive-up ATMs have Braille on the keypad?

  30. You might be employed by a school if… you know you are in for a major project when a parent says, “I have a great idea I’d like to discuss with you. I think it would be such fun!”

  31. Have you ever thought? Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?

  32. Something to ponder! Did you know that the words “race car” spelled backwards still spells “race car”?

  33. Brain Teaser Why can’t a man living in the U.S. be buried in Canada? We normally don’t bury people who are still alive.

  34. Ever wonder why? Why don’t you see the headline—Psychic Wins Lottery?

  35. Ever wonder why? Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in a driveway and put our useless junk in the garage?

  36. Puns and Fun Acupuncture is a jab well done!

  37. You might be employed by a school if… you think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.

  38. Ever wonder why? How come we choose from just 2 people for president and from 50 for Miss America?

  39. Words to think about! Did you know that “eat” is the only word, that if you take the first letter and move it to the last, spells its past tense, “ate”?

  40. Ever wonder why? A bus station is where a bus stops, a train station is where a train stops, and on my desk I have a work station, so…

  41. Ever wonder why? Why do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?

  42. Ever wonder why? Why is transporting something by car, it is called a shipment; but when you transport something by ship, it is called cargo?

  43. Ever wonder why? Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

  44. Ever wonder why? Is a turtle with no shell homeless or naked?

  45. Don’t you just wonder? While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor. “It is essential that husbands and wives know each other’s likes and dislikes.” He addressed the man and asked, “Can you name your wife’s favorite flower?” Tom leaned over, touched his wife’s are gently and whispered, “It’s Pillsbury, isn’t it?”

  46. Have you ever thought? He who laughs last thinks the slowest.

  47. Have you ever thought? Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

  48. Have you ever thought? If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

  49. Have you ever thought? Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

  50. What words REALLY mean! BEAUTY PARLOR A place where women curl up and dye.

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