1 / 30

Addiction: ABC ’ s and 123 ’ s

Addiction: ABC ’ s and 123 ’ s. Dr. Barbara Byers. The ABC ’ s. A - The Addict and Addiction B - Belief System C - Cycle of Addiction D - Decline Process E - Enabling F - Family Connection. A: What is Addiction?.

moke
Download Presentation

Addiction: ABC ’ s and 123 ’ s

An Image/Link below is provided (as is) to download presentation Download Policy: Content on the Website is provided to you AS IS for your information and personal use and may not be sold / licensed / shared on other websites without getting consent from its author. Content is provided to you AS IS for your information and personal use only. Download presentation by click this link. While downloading, if for some reason you are not able to download a presentation, the publisher may have deleted the file from their server. During download, if you can't get a presentation, the file might be deleted by the publisher.

E N D

Presentation Transcript

  1. Addiction: ABC’s and 123’s Dr. Barbara Byers

  2. The ABC’s • A - The Addict and Addiction • B - Belief System • C - Cycle of Addiction • D - Decline Process • E - Enabling • F - Family Connection

  3. A: What is Addiction? • It is not just frequent use of a substance or process, but it is abuse coupled with: • deception, • loss in relationships, • dependency on the object, • loss of control, • attempts to stop bring withdrawal symptoms, • changes within the personality. • Why? To escape painful emotions and create a different mood.

  4. Addiction: 2 Types • 1. Substance addictions • Revolve around drinking, eating, ingesting, inhaling, huffing, injecting, taking in • Caffeine, nicotine, sugar, alcohol, drugs, pain-killers • 2. Process addictions: “doing” • TV, shopping, internet, gambling, exercising, stealing • Relating: misery/victimization, hyper-religion, and drama and chaos

  5. Satiation and Arousal • Arousal • Caffeine/tobacco, high risk behavior, sexual behaviors, gambling, drugs • Satiation • Alcohol, eating, drugs, sex, spending, working • The addict wants to arouse but also satisfy

  6. The Addict:Risk Factors • “Addictive” personality features • Absence of good coping skills • Unmet emotional, social and spiritual needs • Lack of support; broken family • Dysfunctional family messages • Unfinished business, pain of the past

  7. B: Faulty Belief System • Addiction is an emotional relationship with an object or process! We love and trust it! • Addiction starts out as an emotional illusion to cover deeper impaired beliefs • As emotional level of addiction is established, the process develops its own emotional logic

  8. C: Cycle of Addiction • Cycle begins with negative emotions • Start to get preoccupied with a way to soothe and alleviate the emotions • Use something that’s worked before • Sets in a ritual • Just preparation and anticipation begins bring arousal and to soothe • Last stage of cycle: feel shame, blame, remorse, self-hatred, hopelessness

  9. D: Process of Decline • Loss of Control - signs of increasing use: • 1. Tolerance increases • 2. Begin to experience impairment • 3. Habits are established and dependency is growing (stronghold) • 4. Deception is set in, deceiving others and ourselves • 5. Attachment deepens

  10. Decline: Personality Changes • Stage 1: Internal Change • Mental preoccupation • Commitment to a negative lifestyle • Shame • Euphoric recall • Denial, minimization, rationalization, avoidance

  11. Decline: Personality Changes • Stage 2: • Logic develops into a rigid, delusional belief system • Brain impairment • Stage 2 Behaviors • Betrays; lies; blames • Withdraws • Spiritual deadening • Stage 2 Deep Ritualization • “Negative surrender”

  12. Decline: Personality Changes • Stage 3 - Chronic • Addicts have built strong defense system and delusions • Have developed tolerance, so must act out more often and more dangerously • Confident in ability to manipulate others while feeling lost, isolated, ashamed • Feels cut off emotionally and spiritually except with their object

  13. Decline • Reaction of others: • “To have a relationship with a practicing addict is very painful and emotionally dangerous.” (Nakken) • Relationships suffer as others feel intense pain • Others react to withdrawal by addict • Either withdraw or try to control or both • Feel manipulated, lied to, blamed, betrayed, neglected • Trust is fractured • “Crazy making” - keep trying to make sense out of it

  14. The Trip Wire: Enabling • Trip Wire = “something that activates something greater” • Enabling: about living in orbit of someone else’s pain, chaos, sorrow, darkness, chaos, addiction, need • Enabling is about my own need to stay connected, to fix

  15. Enabling: Impaired Behaviors • Start to participate in same impaired mental processes as addict • Feel the loss of relationship, try to deny it but become angry, despairing • Efforts to change relationship are ineffective and can intensify the system • Family makes adjustments - so all kinds of co-dependencies develop • Over-focus: “The Addict” becomes family scapegoat

  16. Enabling: Behaviors • Preoccupation with addict’s problems leads to controlling behaviors • Assume that the co-addict has power over the addict • Sacrifice part of own identity to stay in the relationship • Enabler starts with core beliefs life • Often carry a sense of abandonment • Often carry an inflated sense of responsibility • May use blame to shield own feelings

  17. The Family Connection • Predisposition to addiction if parents addicted • Toxic family may pollute our attitudes • Develop ways of coping • Measure of dysfunction is how willing we are not to talk about it! • Believe illusion that if acting out stops, pain stops

  18. What Now? • Assess the stage of use or addiction. • Recognize and stop the enabling in the system. • Break the silence to disable the system. • Get outside help and support.

  19. Intervention • Intervention is intended to force the addict to make some changes in behavior. • Creates a crisis. • “No more promises.”“No more tears.” • It is a call to action with a specific plan. • Not a threat. Must be caring but clear. • Helps them break through patterns of denial to admit there is a problem. • Remember you are asking them to give up their very best friend. • Takes courage to face their rage and our enabling.

  20. Detachment • If you are an enabler, you have probably tried all the wrong approaches. • Feel frustrated, angry, abandoned, hopeless • Detachment is the key. • Move out of their orbit as much as possible. • Limit yourself; get help for YOU. • Don’t cover for them; don’t keep their secret. • Not about not feeling emotions, about being stable and not reacting.

  21. Detachment • Idea is to separate yourself emotionally from the damaging effects of your relationship with the addict • Not abandonment! • Not complete dissociation. • Move away from taking too much responsibility. • Move away from control. • Move away from emotional reactions to their destructive behaviors.

  22. Detachment • Must be willing to set boundaries and be consistent in enforcing them. • Consequences are absolutely essential. • Must be willing to decide on non-negotiables. • Be emotionally prepared for onslaught of their blame and anger if you are changing the “rules.” • Get support for this.

  23. Detachment • What does detachment look like? • It is difficult! • Don’t do anything for them they should be doing for themselves. • Don’t rescue them from consequences. • Don’t cover their mistakes. • Let them suffer where necessary. • Let go of the guilt you have.

  24. Consequences • Consequences will help drive an addict to feel the real pain of their choices. • Without consequences, change is difficult. • Restore and maintain ALL consequences. • Beware of manipulation. • Luke 15 story gives us hope. • When all is lost then sanity and clarity may intrude. • The addict may “come to himself” and be willing to change.

  25. There is Hope! … The 123’s • Addicts must have hope, must know: • “There is no pit so deep that God’s love is not deeper still.” Corrie ten Boom The Hiding Place • #1: There is hope because there is grace! • John 1:14 Jesus came full of grace and truth….at our deepest darkness. • This grace is real, tangible, present and empowering.

  26. 2nd Element: Facing Pain • Must have a willingness to face the pain of our current addiction which is so debilitating and has caused such loss to ourselves and others • Must go to the taproot. • Where does it hurt? • When we pause the addiction, the pain comes us and demands attention • So can’t just stop the behavior

  27. 3rd Element: Telling the truth • Denial and deception are at the heart of addiction so the truth must be told. • Whatever we hold back, we won’t be free of. • “You are only as sick as your secrets.” • Responsibility: • Recovery will not begin until the addict accepts responsibility for his practices: choices, behaviors, and beliefs.

  28. Where to Get Help • Individual and group counseling • School counselors • Outpatient and inpatient rehabilitation • Must be long enough to get to the roots • Cessation of behavior and internal pain • Church groups such as Celebrate Recovery • Al-Anon • Doug Weiss at Heart-to-Heart Counseling • Nancy Alcorn’s Mercy Ministry

  29. Summary • “Expand your options” • Break the silence • Break the shame • Break the isolation • Research tells us we cannot do it alone! • Need consequences. • Grace and truth!

  30. Helpful Books • Addiction and Grace by Gerald May • The Addictive Personality by Craig Nakken • The Heart of Addiction by Lance Dodes • Facing Shame: Families in Recovery by Fossum and Mason

More Related