Partnering with parents

1. Partnering with parents Homeward In Service Training June 13, 2013 Trainer: Andelicia Neville

2. Partnering With Parents • Purpose Statement: To ensure Staff have a working knowledge of child development, developmental expectations, underlying issue and family dynamics as it pertains to working with families in transition.

3. Ages and Stages Child Development

4. Child Development:0 to 3Infant/Toddlers

5. Child Development:3 to 5 years OldPreschoolers

6. Child Development:Ages 6 to 12School Age • Physically: School aged children are generally very physically active. Concentration develops and improves throughout this period. Sense of humor develops as well as a better understanding of time. May have quick and extreme emotional shifts as they learn to self regulate. • Cognitively School aged children are able to think logically to solve problem and organize information learned. They can mentally reverse a process or action. Can think sequentially. Although they can think logically, they still struggle with understanding abstract concepts or general principle applied to specific events. • Emotionally Has desire to learn from others and do things well. Social interactions are key during this stage of development. School aged children learn social expectation from peers and teachers.

7. Child Development: Ages 13 to 18Adolescence • Physically: The biggest physical development in adolescence is the onset and process of puberty. The increase and release of hormones can yield an array of mood swings from depression to uncontrolled or inappropriate laughing. • Cognitively: Autonomy and sense of oneself tend to be the adolescence mantra. Adolescents tend to believe they are immune to consequences. Ie…”that wont happen to me”. This can lead to poor choices and decision making. • Emotionally: “Fitting In” and “Belonging” are important socio-emotional concepts that drive adolescent behavior and interactions.

8. Family Dynamics Lions, Tigers & Bears…Oh My! Can’t We All Get Along?! Family Disruptions…

9. Illness and Injury • Types of Illness and Injuries: Illness and injury due to Diabetes, Hypertension, Heart Attacks, Stokes and accidental injuries can disrupt family functioning and dynamics. • Change in Routine and/or Roles: Oftentimes there tends to be disruption to daily routines and can lead to shifts in caregiver roles. Sometimes children may take on caregiver roles of younger siblings and sometimes parents. This can cause an imbalance in parental roles which can lead to conflicts and/or resentment. • Long term Effects: Families can become strained to the point of disruption if support is not available for the parent and child(ren).

10. Unexpected Setbacks • What happens when you lose your job? Or when the family has financial prob­lems? Children need to know: "Mom lost her job, so we're going to have to re­duce our spending until she finds a new one." • Moving not only impacts adults, children can exhibit great anxiety around moving. Anything that disrupts “Routine "can impact children emotionally, cognitively and physically. It is unwise to protect your child from these kinds of family problems. • Children can sense when parents are upset or anxious. They can internalize these feelings and begin to act out. They may even blame themselves. Honesty and open communication is key.

11. Parental Mental Illness or Substance Abuse • Depression in a par­ent affects all family members and colors their relationships with one another and with people outside of the home. Depressed parents tend to create a less positive emotional tone in the way their family interacts. They do not respond as quickly or as appropriately to the emotional needs of their children. They are also more likely to be controlling and coercive in relating to their young­sters, rather than discussing and negotiating issues. • Many children of depressed parents feel rejected and develop low self-esteem. They may have problems relating to their peers and thus are less likely to become involved in social activities. These children can often benefit from close relationships with adults outside the family and from professional counseling to help them develop ways of coping with the stresses within their families. • The children of alcoholics and other drug abusers may have similar prob­lems. Although family experiences vary, these youngsters often grow up with more negative life experiences, and a decreased sense of togetherness and open communication. Drinking is also tied to a greater incidence of parental depression, family violence, and marital problems. Active participation in school and extracurricular activities can go a long way toward helping these children achieve success and happiness. In the meantime, affected parents need to seek professional help for their drinking and drug-abuse problems.

12. Arguments/Conflicts • Disputes between children and parents are inevitable in family life. If your family never has arguments, it probably means that issues are being avoided. To become productive adults, children need to be able to voice their opin­ions—even if they disagree with yours—and feel they are being taken seriously. Even so, parents should keep the negative impact of arguments to a minimum by adhering to the following guidelines: Be selective about the issues you fight over. Maintain respectable boundaries Do not become demeaning towards children Remember you are modeling how your child should handle conflicts in the future.

13. Underlying Issues: Oppositional Defiance, ADD/ADHD, Identification Process (Child, parent & school)

14. Oppositional Defiance • Oppositional Defiant Disorder is abbreviated ODD. These children are negative, hostile, and defiant. They have temper tantrums, argue, deliberately annoy people, blame others for their mistakes, are easily annoyed by others, and are often angry, spiteful or vengeful. They have a low frustration tolerance and easily lose their temper. They initiate confrontations and exhibit excessive levels of rudeness, uncooperativeness and resistance to authority. Frequently, this behavior is most evident in interactions with adults or peers whom the child knows well. • Treatment of ODD usually consists of group, individual and/or family therapy and education, keeping a consistent daily schedule, support, limit-setting, discipline, consistent rules, having a healthy role model to look up to, training in how to get along with others, behavior modification and sometimes residential treatment, day treatment and/or medication.

15. ADD and ADHD • Attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (commonly referred to as ADD or ADHD – though AD/HD is the technically correct abbreviation) is a neurologically based condition characterized by problems with attention, impulse control, and hyperactivity. • Symptoms of ADD include: Failure to give close attention to details, makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, work or other activities is easily distracted, has difficulty paying attention in tasks, especially on tasks that are long and tedious does not seem to listen when spoken to directly, may daydream, mind seems to be elsewhere even in the absence of any obvious distraction struggles to follow through on instructions and to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the workplace has difficulty with organization avoids or dislikes activities that require sustained mental effort often loses things is frequently forgetful • Symptoms of ADHD include: fidgets with hands or feet or squirms in seat, often leaves seat in classroom or in other situations in which remaining seated is expected, may feel restless during activities or situations in which remaining seated is expected, runs around or climbs excessively in situations in which it is inappropriate (in teens and adults may be limited to feelings of restlessness) has difficulty engaging in activities quietly, is often “on the go” or acts as if “driven by a motor,” is uncomfortable being still for an extended time, talks excessively, hyper-talkative, tends to act without thinking, such as starting on tasks without adequate preparation (for example, before listening or reading through directions) or blurting out answers before questions have been completed, hyper-reactive, uncomfortable doing things slowly and systematically, tends to rush through activities, often has difficulty awaiting turn, impatient (this may be displayed through feelings of restlessness) interrupts or intrudes on others, butts into conversations or games, may make impulsive decisions without thinking through consequences, impaired ability to stop, think, inhibit, plan and then act • Boys are diagnosed two to three times as often as girls, though this difference in rate of diagnosis for males and females seems to even out in adulthood with adult males and adult females being diagnosed at a more equal ratio of one to one.

16. How is ADD and ODD different? • ODD is characterized by aggressiveness, but not impulsiveness. With ODD people annoy you purposefully, while it is usually not so purposeful in ADHD. ODD signs and symptoms are much more difficult to live with than ADHD. ADHD sometimes goes away, but ODD rarely does. ODD is not characterized by poor social skills. Children with ODD can sit still. • Children and adolescents with ADHD alone do things without thinking, but not necessarily aggressive things. An ADHD child may impulsively push someone too hard on a swing and knock the child to the ground. He would likely be sorry. A child with ODD plus ADHD might push the kid out of the swing and say he didn't do it and then brag about it to his friends later. ADHD plus ODD children and adolescents get in a lot of trouble because their impulsiveness and hyperactivity often lead to fights, rough play and huge temper tantrums.

17. Identification Process • Pediatrician/Psychologist: Discuss any behavioral concerns with the child’s pediatrician. Most pediatricians can diagnose ADD/ADHD and prescribe medications. However, more intense behaviors should be diagnosed by a Clinical Psychologist • School Child Study Process: Most schools use the Child Study process to determine school aged children level of needs and services. Either a parent or teacher can request this process. A school psychologist will conduct an in depth psychological to diagnose and make appropriate recommendations.

18. Practical Strategies to Guiding Appropriate Child Behavior: Positive Discipline

19. Positive Discipline:Developmental Expectations • Discipline should align with the child's development. • Different Rules for Different Children • Adjust your rules and discipline techniques as your child grows

20. Positive Discipline:Discipline VS Punishment • Correction with Love • Modeling Behaviors • Abuse: Physical and Emotional

21. Positive Discipline:Let the Punishment Fit the Crime • Limit Setting • Picking Your Battles • Teachable Moments • Routines and Consistency

22. Communication Skills: First Impressions Rapport Building Listening

23. Communication Skills:

24. Communication Skills:Keys To Effective communication • First Impressions “Your never get a second chance to make a first impression.” • Rapport Building Not a lot of time but a lot to accomplish. • Listening Hearing is not the same a listening. • Never Make Promise You Can Not Keep “Say what you mean and mean what you say!”

25. Problem Solving: Self Advocacy Support Systems Community Resources

26. Problem Solving:Self Advocacy • Teaching Self Advocacy through modeling: Most families depend on other to advocate for them. Taking the time to demonstrate with them how they can effectively advocate for themselves is key. • Walking it through with families: Sometimes families need step by step assistance with this. Attending appointments and meetings with parents to provide support is helpful. Also rehearsing through the process before hand helps to build confidence.

27. Problem Solving:Support Systems • Circle of Support

28. Problem Solving:Community Resources • Hope for Hope Activity

29. Questions??? Comments??? Andelicia Neville andelicianeville@yahoo.com