Studies in Genesis

Studies in Genesis Presentation 74

Jacob’s Death Gen 49v29-50v14 Presentation 74

Introduction Ecclesiastes reminds us that there is, 'a time to be born and a time to die, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.' In contrast modern society seems anxious to deny the inevitability of death. Death is the forbidden subject of the C21st! Many today look at death through a distorted lens. We in the church need to be aware of these distortions and recover a biblical attitude towards death and bereavement. The passage before us, which speaks of the mourning of Joseph over the death of his father, helps to do that and to shape our response to death and mourning. Presentation 74 Presentation 74

Death Accepting Societies can be categorised by their attitude towards death. First, there is the death accepting attitude found in ancient Greece. They believed in the immortality of the soul, which they thought was essentially good and therefore permanent . The body, which was material, was essentially bad and therefore perishable. The Greeks believed that death freed the soul from the prison of its body - a liberating and enriching experience. Any classical tour of Greece will reveal a number of ancient tombstones on which death was depicted as a fair maiden coming to lead the dead soul into this more fulfilling existence. Socrates one of the chief exponents of this view was happy to drink a fatal draught of hemlock because he saw death as his friend. Presentation 74

Death Accepting There is a threefold difficulty with this view. First, it rests on an untested philosophical hope. The ability to be able to face death with serenity does not of itself argue for the truth of the philosophy. People can be serenely and sincerely wrong. Secondly, this attitude to death does not help the survivors. Plato, one Socrates star pupils, had nothing to comfort him in his loss. All he could do was attempt to accept Socrates death with a tight lipped stoicism. Thirdly, the view is unable to provide any kind of assurance that the dead individual has been able to adequately deal with the sins committed in this life and their eternal consequences. Presentation 74

Death Denying Secondly, there is the death denying attitude so prevalent in the post Christian society in the West. Richard Doss in his book on death describes what he calls; ‘a massive cultural conspiracy [which] is at work creating a new image for death. We attempt to reshape our understanding of death by the language we use, particularly the imaginative euphemisms we have invented to soften the reality of death.’ He goes on to describe the way in which the various professions speak of death. In hospital the patient ‘expires.’ The mortician speaks of 'the passing of a loved one'. The minister speaks of the dead person as 'our friend who has passed on'. And the local newspaper reports the death as someone who has 'passed away'. Presentation 74

Death Denying Doss continues, “This is the accepted social practice of speaking of death, if you are so coarse as to mention in a matter of fact way, 'Did you here that John Jones died last week? people think you to be in poor taste or indiscreet. Use of softened language indicates a strong need to dent the harshness of death.” Why has society become a death denying one? One reason may be our over exposure to it. The average western child, sees more death on TV before he starts school than the average person of a previous age saw in their lifetime. Secondly, old age is feared hence the appeal of gyms and spas, facelifts, health foods and the latest face creams ‘keep yourself from ageing at all costs!’ Presentation 74

Death Denying Surely the main cause of society's death denying attitude is a religious one. First, we've absorbed the philosophy of materialism, which believes only this world is worth living for. The logic of that view is that death terminates all that we are, therefore death has to be pushed to the boundaries of consciousness. Secondly, if [as Christians and others claim] God exists, then death will usher us into his presence to account for the way we have lived. That is something many cannot bear to think about. In denying God they have separated death from the One who alone can transform it into a door of hope. One writer says, 'with no meaningful framework for understanding death, our culture has adopted a style of denial and avoidance.’ This attitude of avoidance is summed up by Woody Allen: ‘lt is not that I am afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.’ Presentation 74

Death Defying We can be death-accepting, death-denying or a death-defying people. This final position is the one adopted by Christianity. Listen to the defiance of the apostle: ‘Where O death is your victory? Where O death is your sting?’ 1 Cor. 15.55 The Christian view acknowledges death's reality and its horror on the one hand, while recognising a life beyond death and certain triumph over it on the other. Jacob shared this view as he prepared for his own death. Remember he had previously described himself as a pilgrim in this life thus anticipating residence in that city whose ‘builder and maker is God’. Presentation 74

Death Defying Perhaps the most striking thing about Jacob's final words are his directions concerning his burial in Macphelah. A modern story teller would have had Jacob buried beside Rachel on the road to Ephrath thinking it a more romantic burial site. Jacob could have lain side by side with the woman he loved. Why did he not ask to buried beside her? He chose instead to be buried in the cave of his fathers in order to say: 'I share the pilgrim faith of Abraham and Isaac, I am looking forward to sharing with them in the blessings of God in eternity.' Having given those final directions Jacob drew his feet up into his bed, breathed his last and was gathered to his people. Death was for him the beginning of newness of life! Presentation 74

Death Defying Joseph grieves his father's death in a striking fashion v1. In western culture, where the reality of death is resisted so strenuously, grief is often shunned and to grieve for a long period of time is discouraged. A young grieving widow, a month after her husband's death, was told by friends to ‘snap out of it, to pull herself together and remember that she had the rest of her life to live’. They found her grief uncomfortable. It reminded them of the brevity of their own lives - the one thing they wanted to forget. Undertakers are reporting an growing trend in funeral arrangements : families want to get it all over as quickly as possible. Often an impersonal third party makes the arrangements because family do not want to be disturbed by the reality of death. Presentation 74

Death Defying Joseph unashamedly mourned for 70 days before he and his brothers took Jacob's body home for burial. Many today would call Joseph ‘morbid’ but while he was one of the most self possessed individuals in scripture he grieved loudly and long. It is not unnatural to spend time grieving over someone, who has been a part of our lives for many years. Some grieving spouses take years to come to terms with their loss. All of Joseph's preparations were designed to honour the memory and wishes of his father. Jacob’s body was embalmed, not in order to conform to Egyptian funeral rites but with the prospect of the long journey to Canaan in mind. It is beneficial for us to have funeral services where we honour the memory of one who has died. Such services help us to affirm our defiance of death and work through the grief process. Presentation 74

Working Through Bereavement Joseph did not grieve forever. After some four months of bereavement he returned to Egypt v14. It would have been hard for Joseph to leave Canaan a land which he hadn't seen since a boy of 17. This land was the focus of God's promises and the future hope of Israel. But Joseph returned to Egypt to resume life and take up the responsibilities which were his. Those who have lost someone close to them must do something similar. Perhaps not today or next week or next month. Dealing with grief takes time. But life must resume in full some day in the future. And the knowledge of that as well as our consciousness of moving towards it is part of the grief process. Presentation 74

Working Through Bereavement We need to be aware of the process of grief, not only that we might be equipped to deal with the loss of a loved one but in order to help others who are engaged in the process of bereavement. Bereavement is a process made up of a number of stages. Each stage is not always obviously apparent and some people wrestle with one stage more than the others. The first stage has been identified as shock. In the long illness of a loved one this shock begins from the time we learn of its terminal nature. There is a turmoil of conflicting emotions. A grieving widow described it like having an ‘eggbeater thrust into the mixing bowl of one’s emotions’. Presentation 74

Working Through Bereavement The next stage is denial. The bereaved person refuses to believe the news that their loved one has in fact died. This stage can help a person to begin to deal with the shock and begin to collect the necessary defences to deal with it. Each of these stages have unhealthy extremes which are generally produced from a failure to progress through the various stages of bereavement. e.g. the person who stops at the process at denial can be found keeping the dead corpse in the house for days as they continue to talk to the corpse and even attempt to feed it. Presentation 74

Working Through Bereavement The third stage is anger and the bereaved asks the question, 'Why did they have to die? Why someone so good, so young, so close to me?’ This anger can be directed towards doctors, nurses, other family members, friends and of course to God. But sometimes the anger is directed towards the person the person who has died, 'They had no right to leave me all alone like this. They surely knew I needed their support'. When people do not work through this stage a bitterness of spirit can result. And their anger constantly fuels their own emotional destruction. Presentation 74

Working Through Bereavement The fourth stage is guilt. The bereaved person begins to blame themselves: 'I could have done more. I should have seen it coming. I should have picked up the symptoms earlier. I should have shown more love, more understanding, more tenderness. ' Paul Tournier says, ‘There is no grave beside which a flood of guilt feelings do not assail the mind’. These guilt feelings are often without foundation. And again when they are not worked through they can lead people into unhealthy depressive states. False guilt appears as real and so they convince themselves that they are responsible for the death of their loved one. Presentation 74

Working Through Bereavement A fifth stage is disorientation and withdrawal. The bereaved person asks 'Where am l? What has happened to my life? What should I do now?' They no longer feel comfortable in society. Sometimes they cut themselves off from normal social intercourse. They cannot cope with the demands of other people’s company. C. S. Lewis describes his reaction after the loss of his wife, he wrote; ‘There is a sort of invisible blanket between the world and me. I find it hard to take in what anyone says. Or perhaps, hard to want to take it in. It is so uninteresting. Yet I want the others to be about me. I dread the moments when the house is empty. If only they would talk to one another and not to me’. Again if this stage is not worked through, people end up as recluses, who have permanently cut themselves off from social contact. Presentation 74

Working Through Bereavement The final stage is renewedactivity and acceptance. This is the place Joseph arrives at in the end of our passage. This is not to be confused with a return to life as it was before. The bereavement process does not bring the dead person back to life! Rather it is like a wound that has healed over leaving a scar. And the scar of the wound will be carried around by the bereaved for the rest of their lives. However, they now have a new perspective on life and a recognition of the worthwhileness of pressing on into the future. How in practical terms is this achieved? Presentation 74

Working Through Bereavement Elizabeth Elliot, who has suffered the loss of two husbands suggests a number of steps that have helped her. First, stillness in God's presence. She points to Ps 46 where the Psalmist describes the destabilising of the created order. Everything which has been dependable is falling away. That is not a bad description of how the bereaved feel. Now in the midst of turmoil and change it is of immense comfort to know that there is One who does not change, 'Be still and know that I am God’ v10 Secondly, she suggests attempt to give thanks to God. Oh it's hard to give thanks for grief, loss and loneliness. But we can thank God for his presence with us in our trial. We may be severed from our loved one but not from God's love. Presentation 74

Working Through Bereavement Thirdly, she urges the bereaved to refuse to be swamped by self pity which is a paralysing and self-destructive emotion. It is like wading into quicksand. In bereavement we are tempted to believe that we're experiencing a greater burden than anyone else has borne - but death is the common lot of man. Fourthly, she stresses the value in accepting ones loneliness. This is hard to do because God has created us as social beings. Loneliness has its uses, if it draws us nearer to God and causes us to drink more deeply from the well of his grace. Now if loneliness is the state that has been given to us by God then it is only reasonable to offer it back to him that he might transform it and use it in his service. Allow God to work through your emptiness to the benefit of others. Presentation 74

Working Through Bereavement Finally, she suggests do something for somebody else: 'There is nothing like definite, overt action to overcome the inertia of grief.' Most of us have someone who needs us and so instead of turning in upon ourselves and asking for strength to cope, we can ask for strength to engage in self-forgetful service. There is a wonderful spiritual principle unfolded in Is. 58.10-12… We tend to argue that when we get our lives together we will be equipped to help others but the opposite is closer to the truth, when we begin to give ourselves to others we begin to get our lives together. Presentation 74

Conclusion When a loved one dies there is a sense in which the lover also dies or at least a part of them dies inside. Part of Joseph was buried in Machpelah's cave. Part of us dies, when we bury a loved one. The resurrection of believers on the last day is a great comfort to grieving Christians. However, there is another kind of resurrection which the grieving believer can experience now! When we attend the burial service of a loved one we think a part of us is being buried to. But we also to affirm; ‘We shall live again. Grief will be overcome. Sorrow will be conquered’. How? Because God will continue to unfold the riches of his blessings in our lives now! That is a resurrection We can anticipate in this life! Presentation 74

Studies in Genesis