From Boring To Brilliant

1. From Boring To Brilliant Painting the Picture With Words

2. Note From The Authors • The following sentences are brought to you by the grade 7 students of Bliss Carman Middle School.

3. The koala bear cackled as the zebra fell out of a tree face first into the poison ivy plant. • Click to see the revised sentence The obnoxious koala bear cackled shrilly as the zebra fell out of a scrawny tree, face first into the poison ivy plant.

4. The meandering river has over 200 trout swimming through, perfect for fishing. • Click to see the revised sentence • The meandering river snakedthrough the steeply eroded riverbedwith over 200 trout swimming in the slow moving water; perfect for fishing.

5. The young ninja master employed the painful kick to the stomach to end the devastating fight. • Click to see the revised sentence To end the devastating fight, the young ninja master employed a painful kick to the opponents unprotected abdomen.

6. The monkey was amazed as he observed a silly clown that made everyone snigger. • Click to see the revised sentence • The small young monkey sat on his old wooden pedestal, his puny eyes not blinking, amazed as he observed a silly clown who made everyone snigger.

7. The race car raced toward the finish line. • Click to see the revised sentence • As the shiny aerodynamic turbo nitrous oxide Porsche 911 raced toward the finish line at 390 km an hour, it became airborne.

8. The big guy devoured the bag of chips greedily. • Click to see the revised sentence • The tall 16 year old boy was so hungry he devoured a whole bag of Cheeseburger Doritos within seconds.

9. The tiny pawn shop owner twisted the small wrapper in his pudgy lips with his stubby greasy fingers. • Click to see the revised sentence • The tiny pawn shop owner untwisted the ends of the Hubba Bubba gum wrapper with his stubby greasy fingers and forced the gum between his pudgy lips.