Villanova Program: Negotiation and the Gulf

1. Prof. E. Van Genderen Villanova Program:Negotiation and the Gulf

2. Barriers to Negotiation • Your reaction • Their emotions • Their position • Their distrust • Their power

3. Breakthrough Negotiation Strategy • Sailing analogy • Indirect action – against your natural reactions • Change the game • Creativity is vital – the Camel parable

4. Sequence of Steps • Sequence is important • Steps 1 ‘Don’t React’ and 2 ‘Step to Their Side’ (atmosphere) • Step 3 ‘Reframe’ (uncovers issues) • Step 4 ‘Build them a Golden Bridge’ (channeling) • Step 5 ‘Use Power to Educate” (Demonstrate the need for cooperation)

5. Preparation • Prepare, prepare, prepare • Lord Caradon ‘What is it that we want to leave the village tonight having achieved?’ • ‘Have we achieve what we set out to achieve?’ • Strategy > prepare > assess > prepare

6. Preparation • TIME and how it is viewed in the Gulf vs. the US • Relationships and trust • Hierarchy and where you fit into ‘the big picture’ • Positions vs. interests

7. Interests • Negotiation is the result of conflict • Your position is what you want • Your interests are the reasons behind your position

8. Interests (continued) • Know your interests! • If you don’t know what is important to you, it won’t be satisfied by others • Rank-order your interests. • Try to know their interests.

9. Perceptions • The Power of Perception: • ‘Unless you understand the other side’s perspectives, you will never be very good at making deals or settling disputes.’ • Of critical importance: ‘Put yourself in the other side’s shoes.’ • Find out as much as you can about the other side’s personality, current situation, etc.

10. Options • Interests > options > agreements • Options bring opportunity • Generate many options • Options ‘expand the pie.’ • ‘First create, then evaluate.’

11. Use a Yardstick • Standards act as established, objective, and independent measurements • Common standards incl.: market rates, the law, fairness, ethics and morals, scientific criteria, technical standards, norms and precedence, etc. • Standards help us ‘divide the pie.’

12. Alternatives • Enter negotiations with alternatives • Know your BATNA • BATNA = Best Alternative To not reaching an Agreement • Your BATNA is your ‘walk away’ plan.

13. Identifying Your BATNA • Negotiation power and BATNA • Your BATNA is your basic measuring stick for any agreement • What can you do on your own to satisfy your interests? • What can you do directly to the other side to make them respect your interests? • Resort to a third party

14. Proposals • A good proposal needs to satisfy: • Your interests; better than your BATNA, and • Their interests better than you believe their BATNA to be; and • Should be based on fair standards

15. Proposals (continued) • An option viz a proposal (commitment) • You should have 3 proposals in mind: • Your best case proposal • A less-than-perfect but proposal • Your ‘bottom line’; which should be at least slightly better than your BATNA • Prepare! Rehearse! Get feedback!

16. Don’t React; Go to the Balcony • ‘Action provokes reaction and reaction provokes counteraction.’ • Natural behavior – react without thinking • 3 Common reactions

17. Reaction 1: Striking Back • Sometimes it works – more often than not, it serves to justify their position and tactic • Keep in mind your interests and relationships • Change to a game you know well – their game suits them – not you • Playing ‘hardball’ damages relationships

18. Giving In • The opposite to striking back… • Pressure • Guilt • Coercion • Unsatisfactory agreements

19. Giving In (continued) • It rewards the wrong side • It sets precedence, and creates impressions and reputations (weakness) • ‘An appeaser is one who believes if you keep throwing steaks to a tiger, the tiger will eventually turn vegetarian.’

20. Breaking Off • Breaking off a relationship • Can be a costly strategy • Avoidance can be a powerful strategy – for a time. • ‘One who always breaks off goes nowhere, because they are always starting over.’

21. The Dangers of Reacting • Iranian hostage crisis (1979-1981) • Reacting distorts our power of reason, our mental balance, and our focus • Democratic viz non-democratic nations • The other side gains power in relation to its ability to make you react.

22. Go to the Balcony You have unilateral power… When you are under pressure or attack – get objectivity. Detach mentally Keep your eye on your objective

23. Call Their Tactic • There are 3 categories of tactics: • Stone Walls • Attacks • Tricks

24. Neutralize the Tactic • Call the Tactic • ‘Good Cop, Bad Cop’ • Lies are the most difficult • Look for mismatch, look for inconsistencies

25. Know Your Hot Buttons • Their power comes from their ability to make you react. • Be in touch with your body • Criticism • Guilt • Confrontation • Fear

26. Buy Time • Pause • Take a Break • Thomas Jefferson ‘When angry…” • Dealing with rage: Imagine the person is simply having a tantrum • Don’t accept ownership

27. Buy Time (continued) • Say nothing • Rewind the tape • Take a time-out • Don’t make important decisions on the spot • Get what you want (don’t get mad or even).

28. Partners; Step to Their Side • Reasoning with unreceptive individuals • Disarm the other side • Going to the balcony viz Stepping to their side • Mental balance

29. Surprise! • Do the opposite of what they expect. • Stonewalling > pressure • Attacking > resisting or counterattacking • Listening • Acknowledging • Agreeing

30. Listen ‘Actively’ • Patience and self-discipline • It offers a ‘window’ into their mind • Angry people want to voice their frustrations. • ‘Spouting off’ > more balance > openness to problem-solving

31. Paraphrasing and Corrections • The other side wants to be listened to and heard. • Sum up what you understand the other side has said. • Satisfaction for the other side

32. Acknowledge • Acknowledge their point(s). • Listen > acknowledge • Acknowledging is not necessarily agreeing! • Acknowledge the validity of their perspective > neutralize the emotional charge. • Former US Defense Secretary McNamara

33. Acknowledge (cont.) • Acknowledge their feelings. • Don’t ignore emotions: Stonewalling > fear Attacking > anger, frustration, resentment, distrust * Be sincere.

34. Apologize *Apologies are acknowledgements. Example: Columbia law professor The power of apology: ‘I am really sorry for this mess.’ ‘I apologize if my decision effected you unfavorably.’

35. Agree – Don’t Concede • Listen > acknowledge > agree • Agree whenever possible. • Find common ground. • Example: the US Senator

36. Humor • Humor breaks ice. Example: Charity worker • Think of a ‘yes’ as being a point or a vote in your favor. • Use ‘yeses’ and collect ‘yeses’.

37. Direct Acknowledgement • Example: Anwar Sadat, Arab-Israeli relations (1977) • Cognitive dissonance • Acknowledging them does not mean supporting their behavior! • Authority and competence

38. More Tactics • Ego stroking • Relationship building • Express your views – don’t provoke. • Change your mindset; either/or > both/and. • Don’t say ‘but’…(irritators) • ‘I’ statements viz ‘you’ statements.

39. Climate Control • Acknowledgement defuses hostility, anger, resentment, distrust, etc. • Listen > acknowledge > agree • Their point • Their emotions • Them as people *Step to their side

40. Reframe • Change the game from positions to interests. • Ask ‘why?’ • Why do you want that? • Example: Gromyko and Biden (1979)

41. Problem-solving Questions • Tell them about the problem. • Let the problem ‘teach them’. • Problem-solving questions: • Focuses attention on both sides’ interests; • The options for satisfying them; and • The standards of fairness

42. Ask ‘Why?’ • Why is it that you want…? • What is the problem? • Help me to see why this is so important. • You seem to feel pretty strongly about this…

43. Ask ‘Why not?’ • Why not do it this way? • What would be wrong with the following approach?’ • Correct me if I am wrong but… • Perhaps you view the situation like this…

44. Ask ‘What if…?’ • What ifs lead to options. • Options lead to proposals. • Proposals lead to agreements. • Example: Project fixed budget

45. Ask for advice • Turn the negotiation into a brainstorming session i.e., Gramyko and Biden • What would you suggest that I do? • What would you do if you were I? *Through partnering, they take part ownership

46. Reframe Tactics • Getting around ‘stone walls’: • Ignore • Reinterpret • Test

47. Reframe Tactics (continued) • Deflecting attacks: • Ignore the attack • Reframe attack from you to problem. • Reframe a personal attack as friendly i.e., Warlord and General • Reframe from past wrong to future remedy.

48. Joint Problem-solving • Change your language. • Instead of ‘you’ and ‘I’…’we’ • The ‘Turning Point’ comes when you change the game. Positional Bargaining > Joint Problem-solving (Interests). • *Reframing = redirecting what the other side says against the problem.

49. Reaching Agreement • Build them a ‘Golden Bridge’. • Main obstacles to agreement: • Not their idea • Unmet interest(s) • Fear of losing face • Too much too fast

50. Build them a ‘Golden Bridge’ • Don’t push them toward agreement. • Reframe a path from their position to a mutual solution. • Example: S. Spielberg • Mediate your own agreement; start from where they are (not where you are).