Sibling Abuse: Detection and Advocacy

1. Sibling Abuse: Detection and Advocacy Amy Meyers, PhD, LCSW The College of New Rochelle April 15, 2011

2. Overview • Purpose • Relevance • Define sibling abuse • Repercussions of sibling abuse • Contributing family factors • Emotional Resonance • Intimate Relationships of the survivor • Risk and Resilience • Detection and Advocacy

3. Purpose of the Study • survivors’ characterization of physical and emotional abusive experiences. • the effect of sibling abuse on survivors’ intimate relationships in adulthood.

4. Elements of Intimacy • Trust • Conflict • Communication • Satisfaction • Dependence/Independence

5. Relevance • Imperative to the fields of: • Child welfare • Child and family services • School social work • Pediatric social work • Clinical practice

6. Defining Sibling Abuse • insistent, consistent, and persistent charges of inadequacy, intimidation or control through physical force and/or emotional denigration (Wiehe, 1997). • intention, or the perceived intention, of causing physical or emotional pain or injury (Gelles, 1979). • rejecting, isolating, terrorizing and/or corrupting (Hart et. al. 1987). • The abusive sibling relationship is characterized by fear, shame, and hopelessness (Kiselica & Morrill-Richards, 2007)

7. Physical and Emotional Sibling Abuse Physical abuse • bruises, welts, abrasions, lacerations, wounds, cuts, bone fractures • behavior that is physically intrusive, physically painful and experienced as physically overwhelming Emotional abuse • active expressions of rejection • actions that deprecate the sibling • verbal denigration and ridicule • actions or threat that cause a sibling extreme fear and anxiety (Schneider et. al, 2005).

8. Sibling Abuse is Not Sibling Rivalry Sibling rivalry > a normative developmental process among siblings • Includes bouts of jealousy, aggression, and low-level violence • Fosters skills of competition, negotiation, and conflict resolution (Gelles & Cornell, 1985) Sibling abuse > intention or the perceived intention of causing physical or emotional pain or injury •Persistent and unrelenting acts

9. Literature Review: Sibling Abuse • Sibling abuse has repercussions in adult relationships(Wiehe, 1990) • Victimization and later dating violence amongst survivors (Simonelli et. al., 2002) • Learned helplessness among adult survivors (McLaurin, 2005) • Emotional cutting off of siblings leads to depression, anxiety and subsequent difficulty with intimacy (Caffaro & Conn-Caffaro, 1998) • Foster children at high risk for sibling abusive relationships (Linares, 2006) • Ethnic differences in the interpretation and experiences of sibling abuse (Rapoza, Cook, Zaveri, & Malley-Morrison, 2010).

10. Literature Review:Sibling Relationships • Siblings influence: • Socialization • Perceptions of interpersonal relatedness (Leader, 2007) • Positive sibling relationships lead to: • Higher self-esteem and emotional well-being • Less depression and social anxiety (Sperling & Berman, 1994) • Sibling relationships inform aspects of intimacy: • Power and hierarchy • Fairness and justice • Communication styles • Conflict resolution • Friendship and loyalty

11. Theoretical Framework • Family Systems • Object Relations • Resiliency

12. Research Methodology • Qualitative, exploratory study • Grounded theory and phenomenological approach (Strauss & Corbin, 1998) • Purposive, convenience sample • Subject recruitment through fliers, online advertisements, email list serves, colleges and universities • Subject criteria: 21 years or older and self-identified survivor of childhood or adolescent physical or emotional sibling abuse

13. Characteristics of Informants • 13 cases of physical and emotional abuse and 6 cases of emotional abuse only • 16 female; 3 male • Predominantly male>female (11) perpetration; 5 female>female; 3 male>male • Age range, 25-65 years old; median age = 40. • Sibling age difference: one to 10 years; median difference = 2 years

14. How Informants Describe Sibling Abuse • “Psychological torture” • “Traumatic” • “Debilitating” • “Damaging” • “Tragic” • “Devastating” • “Relentless”

15. Emotional Resonance Compromised sense of self Inability to TRUST others • Insecurity • Fear of abandonment • Fear of dependence • Skepticism around support • Difficulty tolerating intense emotions

16. Emotional Resonance • sense of aloneness • lack of validation regarding their experience • lack of societal differentiation between sibling abuse and sibling rivalry > SA as normative • lack of entitlement to one’s perception of things • lack of self-worth

17. Findings: Intimate Relationships • Expectations of abandonment and difficulty trusting others results in: ∙ Anxiety and insecurity ∙ Fear of dependence ∙ Conforming and pleasing behavior ∙ Attachment to emotionally unavailable partners ∙ Difficulty trusting others ∙ Sexual promiscuity

18. Healthy Family Functioning “Healthy” family functioning: caring and mutually supportive relationships; effective parental leadership and autonomy; protection of children; consistent patterns of interaction inclusive of clear rules and expectations; acceptance of a range of emotional expressions; and effective conflict-resolution processes (Walsh, 1993)

19. Risk: Parental Response • Passivity; lack of presence; uninvolved • Punitive; blaming the abused sibling or corporal punishment of the abusive sibling • Collusion with the abusive sibling • Unable to manage the abusive sibling • Therapy for the abused sibling 

20. Protective Factors: Childhood • Supportive adult • Another sibling • Extended family member • Mentor • Friend’s parent • Creative outlets • Therapy

21. Detection • Child abuse • Child neglect (even in its more subtle forms) • Single parent status • Financial stress • Siblings with disabilities, substance abuse, or behavioral problems • Siblings in caregiver roles • Poor parental modeling • Inappropriate hierarchical relations • Limited supports/social capital

22. Advocacy • Policy – Child Welfare • Develop statutes to assess for sibling abuse • Monitor identification of sibling abuse in child welfare cases • Organizations and Community • Develop and implement assessment tools • Psycho-education of parents • Parenting skills • Clinical Interventions • Develop support systems • Extracurricular activities • Mentors/role models

23. Questions/Comments Amy Meyers, PhD, LCSW ameyers@cnr.edu 914-654-5853 References: Available for distribution