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Narrative Essay. Central Idea and Concrete Details. Main idea and concrete details.

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Narrative Essay

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Narrative Essay

Central Idea and Concrete Details


Main idea and concrete details

  • Although Chubby acted somewhat rudely to me, I gained tremendous happiness due to feeling needed by her. She would leap back and forth pleasantly when offered fruit and vegetables. Moreover, her tiny round head always appeared from the nest as I called her name. She also loved to welcome me with her melodious chirps.


Main idea and concrete details

  • (re-arranging the sequence)

  • Although Chubby acted somewhat rudely to me, I felt needed by her. As I called her name,her tiny round head always popped out of the nest right away. She also loved to welcome me with her melodious chirps. When offered fruit and vegetables, She would leap back and forth pleasantly. (When not being fed? A bit more details.)

  • Although Chubby acted somewhat rudely to me, I gained tremendous happiness in feeling needed by her. She would leap back and forth pleasantly when offered fruit and vegetables. Moreover, her tiny round head always popped out of the nest as I called her name. She also loved to welcome me with her melodious chirps.

  • Although Chubby acted somewhat rudely to me, I gained tremendous happiness due to feeling needed by her. She would leap back and forth pleasantly when offered fruit and vegetables. Moreover, her tiny round head always appeared from the nest as I called her name. She also loved to welcome me with her melodious chirps.


Main idea & concrete details

  • No one could awake me from my sleepiness, even thought Elvis Presley was now standing in front of me and singing “Love Me Tender” to me. Nothing could draw my attention at this moment, except for a hot spring shower, and a king-size water bed. However, things just never go as smoothly as we like. A man’s voice continuously came to my ears. I would feel better if he was singing a lovely lullaby with soft voice, but anyway, his voice was not charming at all, and even kind of harsh to my poor ears.


Main idea & concrete details

  • No one could awake me from my sleepiness, even ifElvis Presley has been standing in front of me and singing “Love Me Tender” to me.Nor could anything draw my attention at that moment, except for a hot spring bath and a king-size water bed. Against my wish, however, a man’s voice continuously came to my ears. I would have felt better if he had been singing a lovely lullaby with a soft voice, but his voice was not charming at all, and even kind of harsh to my poor ears.

  • No one could awake me from my sleepiness, even ifElvis Presley had been standing in front of me and singing “Love Me Tender” to me.Nor could anything draw my attention at that moment, except for a hot spring bath and a king-size water bed. Against my wish, however, a man’s voice came to my ears continuously, low but coarse. Not soothing as a lullaby sang in a soft voice, the voice disturbed me as a mosquito flying around me.

  • No one could awake me from my sleepiness, even thought Elvis Presley was now standing in front of me and singing “Love Me Tender” to me. Nothing could draw my attention at this moment, except for a hot spring shower, and a king-size water bed. However, things just never go as smoothly as we like. A man’s voice continuously came to my ears. I would feel better if he was singing a lovely lullaby with soft voice, but anyway, his voice was not charming at all, and even kind of harsh to my poor ears.

Voice

Redundant


Concrete details & avoiding rep.

  • In a chilly afternoon several years ago, my home was suddenly invaded by a skinny lovebird. This furry creature with untidy feathers shivered in the warm kitchen. Her spiritless big eyes expressed her hunger and desire for a sweet home. Facing such a poor wanderer, I could not help grabbing my purse and heading to the nearest bird shop to buy her some nutritious food.


Concrete details & avoiding rep.

  • In a chilly afternoon several years ago, my home was suddenly invaded by a skinnylovebird. This furry creature with untidy feathers shivered in the warm kitchen. Her spiritless big eyes expressed her hunger and desire for a sweet home. Facing such a poor wanderer, I could not help grabbing my purse and heading to the nearest bird shop to buy her some nutritious food.

  • In a chilly afternoon several years ago, my home was suddenly invaded by a skinny lovebird. This furry creature with untidy feathers shivered in the warm kitchen. Her spiritless big eyes expressed her hunger and desire for a sweet home. Facing such a poor wanderer, I could not help grabbing my purse and heading to the nearest bird shop to buy her some nutritious food.


Avoid Sweeping Generalization

  • People spend their time on their brilliant career rather than paying sympathy for others. A blind person can never go out without taking his guide dog with him, because only a few people will notice him and even, only part of them will help him. Human warmness, which is supposed to exist, seems to be something out of the ordinary; on the contrary, indifference takes the place where warmness and enthusiasm should be.


Avoid Sweeping Generalization

  • Thanks to the rapid improvement of information technology, today’s adults tend to be busier with their work, and children, with their selection of electronic games and websites. We may be reserved to give a blind person a hand, when the latter cannot tell whether it is green light or red light in front of him at an intersection. Human warmness can also vanish from our hearts, which are numbed by the many disasters and killings covered on the newspapers on daily basis. Indifference, then, seems to set in and occupies us.

  • People spend their time on their brilliant career rather than paying sympathy for others. A blind person can never go out without taking his guide dog with him, because only a few people will notice him and even, only part of them will help him. Human warmness, which is supposed to exist, seems to be something out of the ordinary; on the contrary, indifference takes the place where warmness and enthusiasm should be.


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