Communication Workshop

1. Communication Workshop

2. Outline • Who are you? • Good Communicators Vs. Poor Communicators • Communication: Basic Principles • Activity #1 and Debrief • Verbal Messages • Non-Verbal Messages • Listening Skill Questionnaire • Listening: Barriers and Tips • Activity #2 and Debrief • What are you going to do about it?

3. Who Are You?

4. What Makes Someone either a Good or a Bad Communicator? • Your Thoughts

5. Basic Principles • Talking openly about ideas and sharing with others can be scary at first but if this open sharing never occurs, people will never learn to appreciate and understand other people’s lives and perspectives, and never experience meaningful and constructive communication.

6. Basic Principles • The very best way to shut the door to open and meaningful conversation is to be negative or judgmental • Never miss out on opportunities to lift others by telling them you appreciate them (this will make them feel good and hopefully inspire them to pass it on – why not make yourself and others feel good!)

7. Basic Principles • Discuss issues early on before they escalate into major problems • You always have a choice – you can choose to communicate positively with others or you can choose to remain closed and negative and miss out on opportunities to learn about yourself and from others

8. Activity #1 Cup Stacking • Stack the cups provided into a pyramid (5 on bottom row, four on second row…) • You CAN’T touch the cups with your hands • Each person needs to hold one piece of string

9. Activity #1: Debrief(Answer is small group then share) • What did your group do really well? • What didn’t your group do so well? • If your group had to do this activity again, would you approach it any differently? Explain

10. Verbal Messages • Think of how you can say something in a positive way before delivering your message • It helps people to understand what you are saying if you express to them why you are sharing with them (ie. Because I care about you … Or… I know you’re really interested in…) • By evaluating the intent of your own message, you can have a better idea of whether or not there is a meaningful reason to share your thoughts

11. Things to Consider When Delivering Your Message • The Receiver: The responsibility for good communication lies not only in the hands or ears of the receiver – the speaker must also take responsibility for sending a clear message. Before sending your message, Ask yourself: • What is this person’s involvement? • What do they need to know? • How should it be said to this person?

12. Things to Consider When Delivering Your Message • Use more than one medium to convey your message if this will help the receiver remember and understand what you want them to know (memos, emails, diagrams, verbal reminders) • Don’t try and sound too technical if the receiver doesn’t speak the same “language” • Get rid of non-essential words • Use words the receiver will understand • Use pictures and examples if appropriate

13. Non-Verbal Messages • So much of what we “say” isn’t said with words • Voice – reading other’s emotions even when we can’t make out the words • Appearance – others’ will be influenced by how pleasant you look and how appropriately you are dressed • Face/Eyes – Your eyes can give you away (Confused? Understood? Bad time!) • Eye contact shows your involvement – don’t want to stare but want to show you are interested

14. Non-Verbal Messages • Posture – forward leaning (comments being received well) – pulling back (something not being received so well) - Standing tall (assertive, confident) - Slouching (submissive, passive) • Personal Space/Distance – want both people to feel comfortable • Too far can seem unfriendly or bearing bad news • Too close can seem confining or invading • If someone keeps retreating don’t keep getting closer

15. Listening!!!! • Why is listening so important? (Examples)

16. Listening • Poor listening skills can result in disastrous consequences for relationships and organizations • Many people spend a greater part of their day listening than they do reading, writing, or speaking • Listening to others helps build rapport, identify needs, and shows that you really care

17. Empathic Listening • “Seek first to understand, then to be understood”

18. Barriers to Listening • What are they? • Personal Experiences?

19. Barriers to Listening • Hearing Problems – some people have actual hearing loss – others’ need to be sensitive to this • Rapid Thought – Listeners can process 500wpm while most speak at 125wpm – leaves a lot of extra processing space in the listeners head which can explain why we “wonder” sometimes

20. Barriers to Listening • Physical Distractions (noises, stuffy room, other conversations) • Message Overload – can only remember so much information – especially if it involves instructions for a new task • Preoccupation – hard to listen to others when there is something else really important on your mind (be honest with the other person and explain that you would like to hear what they have to say but that another time would be better)

21. Barriers to Listening • Egocentrism – my ideas are better and more important than yours – I have nothing to learn from you, I’ll just use this time to prepare what I have to say • Assuming Listening is Passive – listening doesn’t just equal not talking, Active listening means absorbing what is being said, processing it, paraphrasing to show your understanding and interest, and asking questions when messages are unclear

22. Barriers to Listening • Cultural Differences – use of language, communication norms • Gender Differences – what is appropriate, acceptable, respectful • Lack of Training – people just aren’t taught how to listen or encouraged to practice

23. How do I Practice Listening? • Every time you engage in conversation is an opportunity to practice – try to make that person feel like he or she is the only and most important person in the world to you during that encounter. People feel good when they feel heard and you may inspire them to treat you and others with the same respect. • Adopt an attitude that says: “I’m here anyway, why not get the most out of this experience by learning through active listening • Listening is a choice!

24. Activity #2 • One “speaker” describes to the rest of the group how to arrange blocks so that they look like the pattern that the speaker has on a sheet of paper • The catch: The speaker cannot see the blocks and the “arrangers” cannot see the sheet of paper or the speaker. • You can both ask questions, talk lots, and listen lots! (Think about what we have discussed today)

25. Activity #2: Debrief • What made this task challenging? • What skills did you use to accomplish the task? • Were you more aware of anything in particular as a result of the principles discussed in this workshop?

26. Steps to Better Communication • How would you like to be able to communicate with others? • What can you do everyday to get closer to being able to communicate the way you want to? • Act on your everyday plan/goals • Evaluate yourself (daily, after conversations, asking yourself what’s working, what could be better)

27. Thanks!

28. References • Adler, R. & Marquardt Elmhorst, J. (1995). Communicating at work (5th ed.). United States of America: McGraw-Hill. • Blundel, R. (1998). Effective business communication. Hertfordshire: Prentice Hall. • Orlick, T. (1998). Embracing your potential. United States of America: Human Kinetics.