Understanding the Social and Emotional Needs of Gifted Children

1. Understanding the Social and Emotional Needs of Gifted Children GATE Workshop for EDCOE Susan Whittington April 24, 2012

2. What are their Social and Emotional Needs? Attributes of Gifted Children (Strip and Webb) Early Identifiers: • Preschoolers who explore, think, and create • Soaks up information rapidly, sees relationships and make connections • Has a constant and INTENSE quest to learn, “This intensity is the earliest indicator of giftedness” (Strip) • Self- taught, often autonomous learners • Need parents and teachers to guide them (Arrives at school ready to challenge and argue, rather than to learn) • Perfectionist (will not show skills until that have them down) • Smart children are hard workers and high achievers and might be mistaken as GIFTED, vs. truly gifted child may be labeled as a trouble maker, a nuisance, or be suspected as having Attention Deficient Hyperactive Disorder, ADHD • Have genetic endowment (GIFTED PARENTS) On the Emotional side: • All-consuming emotion - interferes with areas of school work or focus on learning • Passionate and feels deeply about people, causes, pets and justice or fairness • Intensity or over-excitability is a parent‘s first clue that their child might be gifted • Advanced abilities and their asynchronous development • One age emotionally, another age physically, and still another age intellectually • Lacks tolerance and gets frustrated easily

3. Parent’s Role • Most authors and researchers of agree: “Gifted are in fact, children first, that their early life experiences are important as they develop, and that parents have important roles to play in the social and emotional development of their gifted child” (Cross).  • Factors that affect the social and emotional development of gifted children: • Genetics (Were parents gifted) • Environmental (Where the family lives or when the child grows up) • Experiential (Outside influences of community or family lifestyle) • Economics (Were children born into poverty) • Parents play a big role in these activities. Collaboration with school guarantees multiple perspectives. The context in which gifted people live, impacts their psychological development.

4. What Parents Can Do to Help (Cross) • There is a continuum of services to deal with social and emotional needs: Advising--Guidance--Counseling--Therapy­­Psycho-pharmacology  • Coping behaviors : Can be situation-specific, depending on trust levels Might act different at home than at school  • Total visibility- plays on stereotypic roles of gifted to stand out • Blending in- finding ways to not stand out or let anyone know they are smart • Disidentifying- proactively engaging in behaviors opposite to the gifted behavior expected or underachieving

5. Nurture the Seven Components of Resiliency (Webb) • Emotional regulation- the ability to stay calm under pressure by modeling • Impulse control- the ability to delay gratification • Empathy and the ability to read nonverbal cues of others • Optimism- though not false • Normal situations that might cause stress • Self-efficacy- our belief that we can successfully solve problems • Reaching out- taking risks to solve problems or have relationships

6. Danger signs to watch out for: (Strip) • Self-imposed isolation • Extreme perfectionism • Concern with personal powerlessness • Unusual fascination with violence • Eating disorders • Substance abuse • Preoccupation with self • Withdrawal into a fantasy world • Rigid, compulsive behaviors • Preoccupation with death (especially if a teen)

7. Make sure your child has these tools in their tool belt to be successful in life: (Webb) • The ability to work and love • The ability to set their own priorities, goals and directions • A tolerance for frustration and ambiguity • Achieved a sense of value for humankind, including honesty and courage • Resilience and the ability to relate to others in a give and take way, be flexible • Discover their learning passions and have a commitment to explore them

8. Love and Logic: (Fay) Laying the Foundation for Life long Learning • Keep the relationship intact • Listen and show empathy • Avoid power struggles • Reward learning • Give choices and timelines • Use praise sparingly • Have kids do chores

9. Resources • Parenting Successful Children, by James Webb, PhD. and Janet Gore, MA Great Potential Press. http://www.educationnews.org/articles/an-interview-with-james-t-webb-about-national-parenting-gifted-children-week.html 2008 • From Helping Gifted Children Soar, A Practical Guide for Parents and Teachers, by Carol A. Strip, Ph.D. Gifted Psychology Press. 2000 • Love and Logic: Hope for Underachieving Kids, Opening the Door to Success, by Jim Fay and Charles Fay, Ph.D. DVD 2001 http://www.loveandlogic.com/ • The Social and Emotional Lives of Gifted Kids, Understanding and Guiding their Development, by Tracy Cross, Ph. D. Prufrock Press. 2005 • When Gifted Kids Don’t Have All the Answers, How to Meet Their Social and Emotional Needs, by Jim Delisle, PhD and Judy Galbraith, MA, Free Spirit Publishing. 2002

10. Erik Erikson’s ( influential thinker in field of Psychology) Theory of Psychological Development Needs (Cross) For the Overachieving Parents • Dr Tracy Cross believes these needs should be considered in looking at the social and emotional needs of gifted. 1. People continue to develop across their lifespan. 2. Pay attention to the eight basic virtues: hope, will, purpose, competence, fidelity, love, care, wisdom. 3. Development of one’s identify is important to our development as a person. 4. When young children’s (infancy) needs are not met, imbalance of mistrust results and sets the stage for a basic mistrust of the environment and those in it. 5. Development of autonomy is important, encourage curiosity and independence (ages 2-5). 6. Early identification of giftedness is linked to early evidence of ability. 7. Gifted children have ample opportunity to successfully complete meaningful work (ages 6-12). 8. Some gifted children have intellectual ability to understand the world years ahead of their chronological age, but the same emotional development of same age peers. Gifted children have idiosyncratic development.