Effective Communication at Work:
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Effective Communication at Work: Achieving Results & Enhancing Relationships. With Dr. Janet Mills. A good example of a bad example. People have memories—and mouths. People happy with you People unhappy with you. Three stages of interaction . Greeting. Three stages of interaction .

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Effective Communication at Work: Achieving Results & Enhancing Relationships

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Effective Communication at Work:

Achieving Results & Enhancing Relationships

With Dr. Janet Mills


A good example of a bad example


People have memories—and mouths

  • People happy with you

  • People unhappy with you


Three stages of interaction

  • Greeting


Three stages of interaction

2. Transaction


Three stages of interaction

3. Parting


4 Things people want from YOU

1. Attention


4 Things people want from YOU

2. Acceptance


4 Things people want from YOU

3. Assertion


4 Things people want from YOU

4. Appreciation


1. Attention

S = face person SQUARELY

O = Adopt an OPEN posture

L = LEAN forward slightly

E = Maintain EYE CONTACT

R = RELAX


1. Attention


Lousy listeners


1. Attention

Verbal Following

Mary was a sensible and giddy young lady, wise and

silly beyond compare. She was a slight and small

creature, yet so large that everyone who knew her

loved her. She felt rather lonely, because she lived in a

Townwith no other houses or people for miles

around.


1. Attention

Multi-channel Nonverbal Following

Percent of impact in face-to-face comm:

  • Verbal = 8%

  • Facial = 54%

  • Vocal = 38%


1. Attention

Multi-channel Nonverbal Following


1. Attention

Back-channeling


2. Acceptance

Affirm the Nature of the Relationship

  • Hierarchical indicators Who’s up? Down?

  • Immediacy indicators How close or far?

  • Basic respect “I see you”

  • Earned respect High esteem


2. Acceptance

Developing and Maintaining Rapport

  • Posture echo

  • Vocal echo

  • Interaction synchrony


2. Acceptance

Responding Verbally to Accept Messages

  • Paraphrase ideas

  • Paraphrase feelings

  • Express empathy

  • Prompt and probe

  • Summarize


Defensiveness

The NUMBER ONE PROBLEM in

communication at work


Defensiveness


3. Assertive & supportive communication

Focus on problems

Not people


3. Assertive & supportive communication

Be congruent

Not incongruent

Ver

Verbal comm

Nonverbal

comm

Thoughts & feelings

Match these!


3. Assertive & supportive communication

Be descriptive

Not evaluative


3. Assertive & supportive communication

Validate

Don’t invalidate


3. Assertive & supportive communication

Be specific

Not global


3. Assertive & supportive communication

Be conjunctive

Not disjunctive


3. Assertive & supportive communication

Own your

Don’t

►Deny what you’ve said

►Blame others for what you

did

►Stuff your feelings

►Ignore what you want

►Forget your

needs

►Statements

►Actions

► Feelings

► Wants

► Needs


3. Assertive & supportive communication

Make it two-way

Not one-way


Assertive Skill 1: Clear Message Format

Use to:

  • State a complaint or problem

  • Request a change of behavior, policy or procedure

  • Express hopes, wishes, desires


Tool 1: Clear Message Format

Elements:

  • Describe

  • Interpret

  • Express/Own

  • Consequences

  • Intentions


Tool 2: Responding to feedback that is ON TARGET

Use: To respond non-defensively to

feedback that is accurate and true


Tool 2: Responding to feedback that is ON TARGET

Elements:

  • Listen actively

  • Acknowledge your error or fault

  • Seek more information

  • Create plan for positive action

  • Appreciate the other


Tool 3: Responding to feedback that is OFF TARGET

Use: To respond non-defensively to

feedback that is inaccurate or untrue


Tool 3: Responding to feedback that is OFF TARGET

Elements:

  • Listen actively

  • Fog the criticism

  • Assert

  • Appreciate


4. Appreciation

Forms of appreciation


Dr. Janet Mills

Thank you!


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