On a Scale

1. On a Scale Jared Brown

2. I believe there is an intangible balance between the good and bad, the positive and negative. I believe every action has an equal and opposite reaction that balances the equation of good and bad. Yet I believe not everyone sees these opposite balances, that they seldom catch the little things that are good that are created from the bad, instead they see more bad than good.

3. Throughout the years I have been alive, I have thought upon every little thing that catches my interest or curiosity. I have wondered what makes things tick, what little gear rotates around and around working endlessly to keep this balance I have come to believe in. I have memories of when I was younger, around five or six when I was with my mother. My father was unheard of to my ears. I never even had an idea of a father. It was only when I was older that I realized my difference amongst others. I had no father while they did. My mother raised me alone, working multiple jobs, leaving early coming home late. I do not remember who watched me while she was away; I just remember when she came home one night in particular, a special night where she came home early.

4. Perhaps eight or nine at night, she had a surprise for me, macaroni and cheese for dinner. I remember I had this little tray that could be set up to be a small table. Then I could sit on the flooring of the trailer and watch my one favorite movie as a young boy. It was a Kermit the Frog movie. I remember there was a building of some sort and he was singing there, and we would just sit their together and watch it. We didn’t speak aside from the occasional giggle I would let out and look at her when something funny happened. The macaroni however was no ordinary macaroni, to make it more special she had sliced up a hot dog and put it inside the macaroni to add an interesting taste. I would always eat those first since it was rare that I had cheesy hot dog slices. Normally it would be a plain hotdog with some leftover ketchup packets she had taken from a fast food joint. She stocked up on ketchup there since it was free and they also had napkins. I like this night in particular because we rarely were together in such a way. She normally worked very late and slept when she could. I don’t remember much else of the details but I remember that night.

5. We struggled to survive, living pay check to pay check with meager food and little money left over. Yet I see all this as happy, as good. Because of this, I became closer to my mother. Because of this we have a special bond. Because of this bad thing, so many little good things came out of it that grew; they grew like a flower and formed who I am and who I am not. These events have an equal and opposite reaction, a good one at that. Because of this, I believe there is a balance. A balance between all the good and bad events in the world, and I wonder what secret puppeteer holds the strings on this balance. What reason is there for this balance that I believe so much in? As I thought further I realized, there could be no love, without a hate. There could be no light without an equal and opposite reaction of a dark.

6. It is easy for me to miss these little things if I allow myself to become ignorant and oblivious to life around me. Thankfully I don’t, I wait and pay attention. I watch for events around me to balance out, for things to flow rhythmically, I wait because I believe in this balance between good and bad, positive and negative. This I believe.