Give me the dignity to say Goodbye! Acknowledging feelings when someone passes away.

1. Give me the dignity to say Goodbye! Acknowledging feelings when someone passes away.

2. What is a Mini Memorial? • A short service held in a comfortable lounge room, a familiar setting within the cottage. • An intimate gathering rather than a larger potentially more distressing and confusing setting of a formal funeral. • The focus is not religious, but spiritual. • To reflect quietly, share memories of the person that passed away, to pray, to acknowledge and express feelings.

3. Why meet together in this way? • It is a statement that the deceased person was valued by others in the community. • It acknowledges personhood and citizenship. • It is a transparent process, acknowledges death’s reality. • It is what other adults do, they mark the occasion and say their good bye appropriately. • People living with dementia have their feelings acknowledged sensitively. This aids in bringing closure, and assists in healing the grieving process. • It allows residents to say good bye in a safe, and supportive environment. • The residents ask for it! This shows how much they value it.

4. How: The Mini Memorial process • Inform 1:1 those whom I knew were close to the deceased person as soon as possible. Often they had been enquiring of their friend’s welfare • Mini Memorial Service is held as soon as possible following the person’s death. • Basic format: Purpose, picture, tribute led by me, followed by others tributes, quiet moment, music, prayer of remembrance and thanksgiving. • Acknowledgement of feelings and normalising of grief. • After service Morning tea is served. Observe, monitor, intervene where appropriate. • The content varies to reflect the remembered person’s own uniqueness, and individuality.