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The Great and Holy Ninja Bunny dropped down upon the land, which became our Earth and gave the creations developing there love and cookies and rainbows and hippies and gay people. And that was good.Then the Great Ninja Bunny said, "Creatures of all sizes, species, you are all equal. As equal as you can be, save the deformities, retardation, poverty, greed, lust, gluttony."The Great and Mighty Ninja Bunny shrugged."We can't all be perfect. Do your best for others and yourself. And you will be HAPPY."
Creation The Great and Holy Ninja Bunny appointed her guardians as follows: the Great Cats to serve as her fierce claws and cunning wisdom, her hunters, the Great Dogs as her voice, her legs, her teeth to chomp her enemies, the Great Birds as her eyes, her wings to deliver messages and communications.Thus became the Queendom of the Ninja Bunny.
Creation Science In guardian school, Mystique and Indiana were forced to be partners for the Chemistry project. Neither liked working with others, both preferred completing projects and tasks on their own.So, in the beginning, they sat in silence.Neither wanted to initiate a conversation. Mystique stared out the window, longing to go outside and climb the biggest tree she saw. Indiana stared at the recess room, wanting to go play tag. Teddy Bear, a disgusting lesser Cat, slouched past, rubbing his hairy tail against Mystique's beautiful black one, earning himself a quick swipe in the face and a bloody nose.Indiana marveled. She hadn't even seen Mystique move and now the ingrate was bleeding.Indiana looked at Mystique, meeting her eyes. They nodded in agreement and thus became the very best friends.
They set to work making the ultimate creation, Catnip Meth. Their reasoning they came up with was it was for purely medical purposes *wink *purr.Unfortunately, both were careless with safety regulations and neither noticed a nasty bi-product they produced on the table beside their experiment. It was quickly catalyzing and expanding, growing a weird smelly fungus.Professoressa Taboo, was gifted with very large eyes and an ability to see tiny things from far away and knew at once it was growing something like life, like them."Life," she said. "You may have created something wonderful. Little animals to play with for entertainment purposes or even a new source of food. That's great." She rubbed against their faces, purring at them proudly.Mystique purred back, giving her teacher friendly licks on the face. Even Indiana, who is usually a bit reserved on who gets her affection was cuddling in happiness with her new friend and the teacher. They had no idea what Mrs. Boo was saying about the new development in the food industry, but they were both a little high from the Catnip Meth and went with it.
Laws If you walked past Mount Ninja on the right day in the past, you'd see this sign.Ninja Bunny to present tablet of laws to govern our people.Where: Top of Mount NinjaWhen: Noonish Saturday September 5thSilent Matt was chosen to go behind the bush with the Ninja Bunny, as he was the only one not screaming and chanting or doing the bunny hop. He seemed to have some intelligence and She took him aside and handed him the tablet."This is an Etch N Sketch," She said. "And on it are the Laws I bestow upon all the animals of this land."Silent Matt nodded and took the Etch N Sketch, being careful not to shake the rules off.He brought it down dutifully, without reading it first, and held it up for the crowd to read.There were confused and angry shouts, and Silent Matt took a peek at the tablet to read it's controversial contents. The Etch N Sketch was entirely blank save for
"What?" The people asked. This is pointless. Silent Matt smiled and mouthed words, letting his captioning be seen by all.Question everything, let no one tell you the path. Blindly follow and you shall surely perish, for how do you know the one who leads truely has the answer?"Good one," the Great and Holy Ninja Bunny said, slinking away.There were many wars, people do not like peace and happiness. People like wars. The Great and Holy Ninja Bunny sent many to help with the wars.After the battles, there were many dead enemies. The question was what to do with the bodies."We will grind up the meat of our foes," Spoke the Ninja Bunny. "And it will be good."And Silent Matt took the initiative to mix the meat on a shell with vegetables from his Psuedo-Holy Garden and thus the creation of the first taco occurred.And it was good.
Evil Queen Cathy Queen Cathy sits on her throne, yawning as her favorite puppet actor tries vigorously to please her with a comical rendition of Elimidate involving Hamlet choosing between Ariel, Scarlett O'Hara and Meg Griffin. "Why haven't I decapitated you yet?" she asks, vaguely moving her arms in a cutting motion. "Ummm..." the puppet actor says, "because I'm the only puppet actor in this queendom with a jet pack and a degree in Taco Crafting?" "Fair enough," the queen murmured, curling up in her throne, pondering the horrid duties of being a queen. "Excuse me, Queen," her rude messenger interrupted. "Someone has crashed their magic carpet through the stained glass window of the Great and Holy Ninja Bunny." To prove his point, he held up a piece of broken glass that used to be Her Holyness' Mighty Lettuce. "EXPLETIVE REMOVED!" the queen grumbled, looking ready to pounce at who has disturbed her slumber.
A man stood in the corner of the room, dressed in blue jean shorts, a blue t-shirt, sandals and a fedora. "A fedora, in this weather?" she asks him, pointing at the snowy outsideness. He shrugs and mouths words. Next to him words start to appear, "Forgive me queen, but I may have broken your window." By now, the evil queen was attracted to this strange new man with the magical captioning, so she merely laughed. "Oh, I was meaning to get that stupid thing replaced anyway." Her advisers shuddered, praying for forgiveness from the Great Ninja Bunny in Her Garden in the Sky for such obvious blasphemy. The man mouthed some more and more letters appeared. "You are too kind, your worship. That makes it so much harder to do this. But it's what a came for." Suddenly music starts playing and the man starts dancing vigorously to everyone's amazement. Finally the music stops and the man looks at the queen once more before picking up his carpet. He mouths and the captioning clearly states, "You've been served!...by the way, wanna come with me on a magic carpet ride?" And that is why the queen did not behead anyone that day.
Anaka sat in her creative writing class, shivering under the torn up blanket shard she was sharing with two other girls, Mona and Sarah. They were huddled together, writing their stories. Anaka flinched, accidentally burning her lip on the shared container of hot water they stole from the Biology building's bathroom. She greedily looked out the glassless window at the Biology students in their comfy seats, with coats relaxed on their chairs, as theirs was a heated room. A pile of snow lay inside near the window, which a few students transformed into Jonathon Swift eating a baby. Anaka sighed again, thinking of what to write. She turned her paper over to see if the biology notes on the other side would inspire her to write her masterpiece. She had to have her idea fully formed before writing, so as not to waste the ink and paper. Then she noticed Sierra Club outside starting a recycling drive on the sidewalk. Students were putting perfectly good paper into these big bins. Mrs. Douglas, the Creative Writing teacher, sent Anaka out to collect some more classroom resources, since she was obviously being useless in class, with no story yet. Prophet Anaka
Prophet Beth Beth walked through the rooms, the stairs, the halls, in a fit of confusion.She lived in one of these rooms. Damnit!She already passed the hideous WVU lingerie section, the lacy mini skirts in a disgusting bright yellow/gold.She passed her friend from high school, a girl who asked her for money upon seeing her for the first time in two years.Although Beth lived in an expensive building, she was poor.She passed people's fancy doors, their homes a clutter with possessions.Someone's bulldog began to chase her, but she shut a door in its face.
Finally, she found a door that looked battered and lonely. The ghetto section of the builiding complex.This is it, she thought, badly wanting a shower from being near all that stinky rich people perfume.She walked in and became confused.This room looked more like something of her childhood; video games all over the floor, candy sitting scattered on a table, the shower was in the living room near all the wires and cords for the game systems. The ceiling was dripping.She started to take off her clothes.A guy came in."Oh, sorry," she said, "I got lost, can I use your shower?""Sure," he said, watching her undress. The shower was nice, she ignored the guy and didn't even notice the other ones come in. "Where's Elijah?" One asked."Who cares, finder's keepers."But Elijah was lost too."Thanks for the shower," Beth said, putting on a change of clothes she had somehow accidentally stolen from one of the stores or homes she passed.
She decided to search for her room, now revitalized from the shower. Not to mention, she did not want to be raped by these geeks while she slept.This time she found it right away, a bit surprised she had missed it earlier.She went in her room, ready to sleep, but someone was sleeping in her bed!A man with dark brown hair, which was wet and suddenly two wide open, surprised and embarrassed blue eyes."I got lost," he said. "And this room kinda reminded me of...never mind," he started to drowsily get up."No," Beth said. "Let's just sleep, you can find your room in the morning. This place is confusing." Then she added, before completely passing out for the night, "I promise I won't rape you if you promise you won't rape me.“
Ninja Bunny smiled. She had connected two souls in this mystery of love. She left a coupon for one free marriage by the pillow and flew silently away. In the morning, seeing the coupon, they giggled about waiting for marriage. Then they screwed like rabbits and ordered a marriage with a large pizza with bacon, extra cheese and chicken. Then they knocked down the wall joining their rooms, once they realized they were actually on the opposite sides of the same wall. The geeky friends were forced to play their video games in their own apartments, which turned out to be in the rich side anyway.
Cathy Girl And they found her curled up by the side of the road singing about hotdogs and holding a tiny figurine of mojo jojo clasped in her palm. "How quaint," Detective XN Ferrell said, poking her with his pool cue. Cathy Girl looked up, dazed. "And torture," she moaned. Then she stood up and did a jig. Detective XN Ferrell wasn't sure what to think of her actions so he decided against thinking. After all, he was an American. "You make me want to go out and save the world, to be a better person, to charge into everything there possibly is," Cathy Girl shouted. "Thanks," Detective XN Ferrell said, pulling out a cigarette and lighting up. He puffed some smoke at her, making her cough like a sissy. "When I was a little girl," she said dreamily, "cigarettes were made of poison." "They still are," Detective XN Ferrell said. "But everyone's dying anyway." "Yeah, but wouldn't it be neat if they weren't?" Cathy Girl said, dazing off into the world of the fantasy again. That world where people can live in harmony without discrimination or pain.
Ti Amo • Per favore metti il tuo disketto nel mio disco fisso. • Voglio ti do molti bacii, ti sentirai la mia lingua nella tua bocca.
