Is it Misbehavior?

1. Is it Misbehavior? Entry-Level Training Module III: Lesson Two ELTM3

2. Positive Guidance • “What is wrong with these kids?” • “If their parents would only…” • “When I was a child we would have never…” • “What behaviors do YOU find challenging? • “Where do these behaviors come from? ELTM3

3. Mistaken Goals • Everyone has the need to belong, to feel a sense of worth and significance. • When we don’t feel a sense of belonging, we can become discouraged and look for ways to feel like we belong. • When a child becomes discouraged, s/he will often misbehave. ELTM3

4. Goals of Misbehavior • Attention • Power • Revenge • Fear of failure/inadequacy ELTM3

5. Causes of Misbehavior • Developmental Stage? • Individual difference/temperament? • Environment? • New/unfamiliar skill/task or misunderstanding? • Unmet emotional need? • Attention (1x) • Power (10x) • Revenge (100x) • Fear of failure (1000x) ELTM3

6. Professional Discipline Strategies are... • based on knowledge of children's needs and developmental appropriateness (observe the child, know the child) • nurturing and empathetic (know your hot buttons) • objective, focused on the things we actually see and hear • used to promote high self-esteem • recognized as having a powerful impact on children • consistent with parents’ discipline style (whenever possible) ELTM3

7. What to Expect from Infants • No intentional behavior before 8-10 months • No self-control, all reflexive or reactive behaviors • Kicks and flails when angry, gets angry over discomfort, boredom, may have tantrums • Withdraws from adults when over-stimulated, tired, distressed, or adult is unfamiliar • Explores objects by mouthing, biting, shaking, banging, and throwing • Eats with hands, smears food all over ELTM3

8. What to Expect from Toddlers • Constantly on the move, exploring (learning) • Loves to dump, pour, carry objects • Impulsive, possessive, aggressive • Interested in cause and effect, beginning to develop some self-control • Easily overwhelmed, frustrated (tantrums) • Uses a “love object” for comfort (blanket, bear, etc.) • Separation anxiety • Imitates everything, tries to be a big girl or big boy ELTM3

9. What to Expect from Preschoolers • Makes intentional choices • Can verbalize needs and desires • Still egocentric, gets angry when doesn’t get his/her way • Aggressive, competitive, intense • Can’t distinguish between intentional/unintentional behavior • Peer relationships are volatile (on again, off again) ELTM3

10. What to Expect from School-agers • Less physically active • Still aggressive, mostly verbally • May sulk and hold grudges • Wants to be first, best, everything must be fair • Begins to use logic, argue with authority • Friendships are becoming extremely important • Increased self-control ELTM3

11. Increasing Cooperation and Self-Control • Respond positively to the child • Demonstrate sensitivity • Demonstrate acceptance of the child • Show affection, appreciation • Cooperate with the child • Use positive communication • Teach cooperation and conflict resolution ELTM3