M apping for the reader: Paragraphs

1. AMP Mapping for the reader: Paragraphs

2. Maintain Focus and Flow Use topic sentences Invite the reader in to the sentence.

3. Weak, Unfocused Paragraph • The main operating cost is hydraulic oil replacement. GR-30 oil costs $18.60K per total plant charge, compared to XR-1023, which is $7.80K. Oil life has a major impact on the overall economics. Preliminary economics were based on a 1-year nickel life, . . . (Paradis and Zimmerman, 1998) Medium-sized idea Details Major idea Detail

4. Focused Paragraph • Hydraulic oil costs and life largely determine the economics of the hydro plant, because its main operating cost is oil replacement. GR-30 and XR-1023, the two oils we are considering, cost $18.60K and $7.80K, respectively, per total plant charge. . . . We are still projecting, then, that XR-1023 will cost less and last longer per plant charge. large idea details summary and transition

5. Maintain focus: Develop paragraphs with levels of generality and importance to reader in mind. • Topic sentence is the most general or most compelling in subject matter. • Every sentence in the paragraph is either more specific than previous one or at same level of generality (except sometimes for last sentence).

6. Do the sentences in this paragraph decrease in generality? Reorder sentences, if necessary. 1. The State of Texas does not appropriate funds to maintain and/or build surface parking lots, parking facilities, or parking garages. 2. All parking on campus, including surface parking and the parking garage, is operated and maintained from the parking system revenues. 3. Revenues include the annual parking permit fee, incomes from citations issued by The University Police, and fees charged to use The University parking garage. 4. The construction of a second parking garage is necessary. 5. To meet the required funding to construct this parking garage, it will be necessary to increase the campus parking revenue by raising the annual parking permit fee. 6. The parking permit fee will increase over a two year period to accomplish this.

7. Do the sentences steadily decrease in importance to the reader?? 1.The State of Texas does not appropriate funds to maintain and/or build surface parking lots, parking facilities, or parking garages. 2. All parking on campus, including surface parking and the parking garage, is operated and maintained from the parking system revenues. 3. Revenues include the annual parking permit fee, incomes from citations issued by The University Police, and fees charged to use The University parking garage. 4. The construction of a second parking garage is necessary. 5. To meet the required funding to construct this parking garage, it will be necessary to increase the campus parking revenue by raising the annual parking permit fee. 6. The parking permit fee will increase over a two year period to accomplish this.

8. Provide Trail Markers:What is most important word in both sentences? The proposal does not conform to our research goals as outlined in the five-year strategic plan. For instance, the potential for discovering new laser techniques is discussed only briefly and does not form a major part of the proposal.

9. Focus should stay on the “proposal.” The proposaldoes not conform to our research goals as outlined in the five-year strategic plan. For instance, the proposal fails to emphasize our potential for discovering new laser techniques; these techniques are discussed only briefly.

10. To help maintain focus: • Tie new information to old • Place repeated info. in subject position The proposal does not conform to our research goals as outlined in the five-year strategic plan. For instance, the proposal fails to emphasize our potential for discovering new laser techniques; these techniques are discussed only briefly.