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Marriage…. Communication and Sex. Marriage… Communication and Sex. Marriage Pyramid. Problem level…. Relational Skills Level. WORSHIP LEVEL. Marriage… Communication and Sex. 3 models of communication: Action Interaction Transaction. Marriage… Communication and Sex.

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Marriage

Marriage…

Communication and Sex


Marriage communication and sex
Marriage…Communication and Sex

Marriage Pyramid

Problem level…

Relational

Skills Level

WORSHIP LEVEL


Marriage communication and sex1
Marriage…Communication and Sex

3 models of communication:

  • Action

  • Interaction

  • Transaction


Marriage communication and sex2
Marriage…Communication and Sex

Eph 4:25-32 is a good passage on communication.

There are good points on communication.

For context, need to consider verses 17-24.


Marriage communication and sex3
Marriage…Communication and Sex

Eph 4:17-24

  • Darkened in their understanding

  • Separated from the life of God

  • Ignorant from hard hearts

  • Callous

  • Lusting for more impurity

  • New attitude of mind

  • Taught in Christ

  • New self created to be like God

  • Righteous

  • Holy


Marriage communication and sex4
Marriage…Communication and Sex

Eph 4:15ff

Speaking the truth in love, while reflecting a changed heart, should help move a person from the old self to the new self (i.e., sanctification)!


Marriage communication and sex5
Marriage…Communication and Sex

Eph 4:25-32

Principle #1: speak the truthin love

This is different from refraining from lying.


Marriage communication and sex6
Marriage…Communication and Sex

Eph 4:25-32

Principle #1: speak the truthin love

Violations to Principle #1:

  • Double bind

  • Backdoor communications

  • Sneak attack


Marriage communication and sex7
Marriage…Communication and Sex

Eph 4:25-32

Principle #2: stay current

  • Deal with your anger.

  • Bitterness = Anger + Time

  • Check out Psalm 4:4ff, Paul quotes this verse.


Marriage communication and sex8
Marriage…Communication and Sex

Eph 4:25-32

Principle #3: No unwholesome talk

  • Wholesome talk builds up a person. It addresses the issues. It doesn’t attack the person, but the problem.

  • Examples of unwholesome talk

    • Exaggerations

    • Using trait names

    • Hitting below the belt

    • Assuming the other’s motives


Marriage communication and sex9
Marriage…Communication and Sex

Eph 4:25-32

Principle #4: Don’t be ruled by anger; speak words of confession and forgiveness.

  • People don’t like to confess and ask for forgiveness.

  • This reveals a belief that there is no real solution to sin except to try harder.

  • When a person confesses and ask for forgiveness, then we should forgive the person and not make them work their way back.


Marriage communication and sex10
Marriage…Communication and Sex

Review on sex…

  • God designed sex to be engaged within marriage.

  • Sexuality was designed by Christ as a way to know God more fully (Eze. 16:13-16, 32-33, 35-37; Eph. 5:25-27)

    • [Note: not in a Pagan sort of way!]

  • Knowing Christ more fully in all of his infinite supremacy is designed as a way of guarding and guiding our sexuality.


Marriage communication and sex11
Marriage…Communication and Sex

Some guiding thoughts on sex…

  • Any and all pleasure need to be subordinate to the pleasure in God.

    • “That which is not desired as a Means to some Higher end, is desired as our ultimate end itself (in that act). But God only is man’s lawful ultimate end.” -- Richard Baxter

  • Sex is designed to be a pointer to God, not a substitute for God.

  • Sex is also the physical sign of the marriage covenant.


Marriage communication and sex12
Marriage…Communication and Sex

Typical Progression of Physical Intimacy

Non-Christian

Sexual

Intercourse

“Typical” Christian

No Physical

Intimacy

No Commitment

Engaged

Married


Marriage communication and sex13
Marriage…Communication and Sex

Biblical Progression of Physical Intimacy

Sexual

Intercourse

No Physical

Intimacy

No Commitment

Engaged

Married


Marriage communication and sex14
Marriage…Communication and Sex

Some guiding thoughts on sex…

  • Ultimately, sex is a spiritual act and not just physical

    • It always involve the spirit of man working together with the will of God, communing with the Holy Spirit, or

    • The spirit of man in rebellion against God, pushing the Holy Spirit away.


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