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Do Now:. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter A ?. Do Now:. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common?. Do Now:.

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Do now

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If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter A ?


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What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common?


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If the temperature this morning is 0 degrees and the Weather Channel says, "it will be twice as cold tomorrow,".... What will the temperature be?


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There are a few trees in a garden. On one of them, a pear tree, there are pears (quite logical). But after a strong wind blew, there were neither pears on the tree nor on the ground. 
How come?


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What is the only food that does not spoil?


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The strongest chains will not bind it, you cannot slow it down, a thousand soldiers cannot beat it, it can knock down trees with a single push.

What is it?


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What happens if you are in a car going the speed of light and you turn your headlights on?


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The one who made it didn’t want it, the one who wanted it didn’t need it and the one who needs it doesn’t know it yet.

What is it?


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Buckets, barrels, baskets, cans; What must you fill with empty hands?


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Let's say (hypothetically) there is a bullet, which can shoot through any barrier. Let's say there is also an absolutely bullet-proof armor, and nothing gets through it. What will happen, if such bullet hits such armor?


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A basket contains 5 apples. Do you know how to divide them among 5 kids so that each one has an apple and one apple stays in the basket?


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Every creature in the world has seen it but to their dying day they’ll never see the same one again.

What is it?


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Look in my face, I am somebody. Look at my back and I am nobody.

What am I?


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Your mission is to not accept the mission. Do you accept?


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A man leaves home and makes three left turns. When he returns home he is met by two men, one of whom is wearing a mask. Who are they?


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Two girls were born to the same mother, on the same day, at the same time, in the same month and year and yet they're not twins. 
How can this be?


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Which four letter sport begins with a “T” ?


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You get it in the woods, bring it home in your hands. You cant find it and the more you look for it the more you feel it. Once you find it, you throw it away.

What is it?


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A wondrous thing, it can comfort the weak and dying, rally the troops, make you laugh or cry.

What is it?


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I am looking at somebody's photo. Who is it I am looking at, if I don't have any brothers or sisters and the father of the man in the photo is the son of my father?


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A New York City hairdresser recently said she would rather cut the hair of three Canadians than one New Yorker.

Why?


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This sparkling globe can float on water, weighs no more than a feather yet ten giants could never pick it up…what is it?


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How could a baby fall from a twenty story building onto the ground and live?


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A girl who was just learning to drive went down a one-way street in the wrong direction, but didn't break the law. 
How come?


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This engulfing thing is strange indeed, the greater it grows the less you see.

What is it?


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If destiny designed a master plan which defines everything that is to happen, isn't it useless, for example, to go to a doctor? If I am ill and it is my destiny to regain health, then I will regain health whether I visit a doctor or not. If it is my destiny to not regain my health, then seeing a doctor can't help me.
How could you question the presented opinion?


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Today it is here to trip you up, it will torture you tomorrow yet it is always here to ease your pain when you are lost in grief and sorrow.

What is it?


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It doesn’t have a lot to do, it just hangs there in one place waiting for you to come along and stare it in the face.

What is it?


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I have no hands or feet, I have no wings but I can fly high on my own, what am I?


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Why can't a man living in the USA be buried in Canada?


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Every living person on earth has seen me but no one will ever see me again.

What is my name?


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You use me from your head to your toes and the more you use me the thinner I grow.

What am I?


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It neither goes to a river nore comes to shore. It is suspended in air but somehow has water in it.

What is it?


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Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister? Why?


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Tear me off, scratch my head, what now is black once was red.

What am I?


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What has 6 faces but does not wear makeup? It also has 21 eyes but cannot see, what oh what can it be?


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If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have?


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I am not a plane but I can fly through the sky. I am not a river but I am full of water.

What am I?


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How far can a dog run into the woods?


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I have two bodies joined as one, the longer I stand the quicker I run.

What am I?


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One big hockey fan claimed to be able to accurately state the score before any game. How did he do it?


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Soldiers lined up spaced with pride, two long rows lined side by side. One sole unit can decide if the rows will unite or possibly divide.

Tell me now, scream it out, what is the thing I talk about?


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You can start a fire if you have alcohol, petrol, kerosene, paper, candle, coke, a full matchbox and a piece of cotton wool. What is the first thing you light?


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Why do Chinese men eat more rice than Japanese men do?


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What word describes a woman who does not have all her fingers on one hand?


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What occurs once in every minute, twice in every moment, yet never in a thousand years?


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What is better than eternal bliss? Nothing. But a slice of bread is better than nothing. So a slice of bread is better than eternal bliss?


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What is green and has wheels?


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Why was six not afraid of seven?


Have you ever stopped to ponder

Have you ever stopped to ponder…

  • Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

  • Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

  • Why toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?

  • Why there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

  • Why you don't ever see the headline: "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

  • Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?

  • Why Doctors call what they do "practice"?

  • Why you have to click on "Start" to stop 'Windows'?


Elephant jokes

Elephant jokes

  • An absurd riddle or conundrum that involves an elephant that follow a set formula

  • Contain a small core or conventional logic such as an elephant painting its toe nails red to camouflage itself in a cherry tree

  • Usually comprise of a double frame shift from something realistic to fantasy

  • The humor derives from the contradiction between the logical and expected answer and the actual punchline

  • Rely on absurdity and incongruity for their humor and a contrast with the normal presumptions of knowledge about elephants

  • Were a fad in the 1960s in the United States, found in newspaper columns and TIME and SEVENTEEN magazines

  • Writers have seen them as a cultural disguise of racism during the civil rights movements, the joke about an elephant in the bathtub is argued to be a reference to the increased intrusion of black people into "the most intimate areas of white life”


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  • Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?

  • A: With a blue elephant gun.

  • Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?

  • A: Have you ever seen a yellow elephant?

  • Q: How do you shoot a red elephant?

  • A: Hold his trunk shut until he turns blue, and then shoot him with the blue elephant gun.

  • And:

  • Q: How do you shoot a purple elephant?

  • A: Paint him red, hold his trunk shut until he turns blue, and then shoot him with the blue elephant gun.


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  • Q: How many elephants will fit into a Mini?

  • A: Four: Two in the front, two in the back.

  • Q: How many giraffes will fit into a Mini?

  • A: None. It's full of elephants.

  • Q: How do you get two whales in a Mini?

  • A: Along the M4 and across the Severn Bridge.[1]

  • Q: How do you know there are two elephants in your refrigerator?

  • A: You can hear giggling when the light goes out.

  • Q: How do you know there are three elephants in your refrigerator?

  • A: You can't close the door.

  • Q: How do you know there are four elephants in your refrigerator?

  • A: There's an empty Mini parked outside.


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  • What's the largest number of coins you can have without having even change for a dollar?


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