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PSAT Club

PSAT Club. Writing – Improving Sentences. General Hints. Here are some general hints for Improving Sentences. Read the entire sentence carefully but quickly. Note the underlined portion because that is the portion that may have to be revised.

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PSAT Club

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  1. PSAT Club Writing – Improving Sentences

  2. General Hints • Here are some general hints for Improving Sentences. • Read the entire sentence carefully but quickly. Note the underlined portion because that is the portion that may have to be revised. • Remember that the portion with no underline stays the same. • Mark choice (A) if the underlined portion seems correct. Check the other choices quickly to make sure that (A) is really the best choice. • Think of how you would revise the underlined portion if it seems wrong. Look for your revision among the choices given. • Replace the underlined portion of the sentence with choices (B) through (E) if you don't find your revision. Concentrate on the choices that seem clear and exact when you read them.

  3. Directions • In each of the following sentences, some part or all of the sentence is underlined. Below each sentence you will find five ways of phrasing the underlined part. Select the answer that produces the most effective sentence, one that is clear and exact, without awkwardness or ambiguity. In choosing answers, follow the requirements of standard written English. Choose the answer that best expresses the meaning of the original sentence. • Answer (A) is always the same as the underlined part. Choose answer (A) if you think the original sentence needs no revision.

  4. Practice Question 1 • Hearing that the Statue of Liberty did not have a pedestal, a campaign was begun by Joseph Pulitzer to raise money for the construction of one. • (A)  a campaign was begun by Joseph Pulitzer to raise money • (B)  a campaign to raise money was initiated by Joseph Pulitzer • (C)  money was raised in a campaign by Joseph Pulitzer • (D)  Joseph Pulitzer began a campaign to raise money • (E)  Joseph Pulitzer had campaigned to raise money

  5. Answer 1 • Hearing that the Statue of Liberty did not have a pedestal, a campaign was begun by Joseph Pulitzer to raise money for the construction of one. • (A)   a campaign was begun by Joseph Pulitzer to raise money • (B)   a campaign to raise money was initiated by Joseph Pulitzer • (C)   money was raised in a campaign by Joseph Pulitzer • (D)Joseph Pulitzer began a campaign to raise moneyCORRECT ANSWER • (E)   Joseph Pulitzer had campaigned to raise money • Correct Answer: D • Explanation: • This sentence contains an error of modification. The introductory clause, "Hearing that the Statue of Liberty did not have a pedestal," cannot modify "campaign": a campaign to raise money cannot hear things. As it is Joseph Pulitzer who did the hearing, choices D and E initially seem plausible. Choice E, however, unjustifiably uses the past perfect ("had campaigned"), leaving D as the only correct choice. The correct sentence reads: Hearing that the Statue of Liberty did not have a pedestal, Joseph Pulitzer began a campaign to raise money for the construction of one.

  6. Practice Question 2 • One of the most common types of mistakes that inexperienced physicians make is misreading symptoms, another that occurs about as frequently is recommending inappropriate treatment. • (A)  symptoms, another that occurs(B)  symptoms; another one that occurs(C)  symptoms, the other, and it occurs(D)  symptoms; another one which is occurring(E)  symptoms and also occurring

  7. Answer 2 • One of the most common types of mistakes that inexperienced physicians make is misreading symptoms, another that occurs about as frequently is recommending inappropriate treatment. • (A) symptoms, another that occurs • (B) symptoms; another one that occurs   CORRECT ANSWER • (C) symptoms, the other, and it occurs • (D) symptoms; another one which is occurring • (E) symptoms and also occurring • Explanation: • This sentence illustrates a comma splice, the incorrect use of a comma to connect two complete sentences. Choice B correctly uses a semicolon to coordinate two independent clauses and form a compound sentence (while at the same time keeping verb tenses parallel). The correct sentence reads: One of the most common types of mistakes that inexperienced physicians make is misreading symptoms; another one that occurs about as frequently is recommending inappropriate treatment.

  8. Practice Question 3 • Gordon Parks is almost as skillful a writer as he is a director. • (A) almost as skillful a writer as he is a director(B) almost equally skilled, whether a writer or a director (C) of the same skill as a writer and as a director, almost (D) a skillful director, with almost as much skill in writing (E) skilled as a director and almost so skilled in writing

  9. Answer 3 • Gordon Parks is almost as skillful a writer as he is a director. • (A)almost as skillful a writer as he is a directorCORRECT ANSWER • (B) almost equally skilled, whether a writer or a director • (C) of the same skill as a writer and as a director, almost • (D) a skillful director, with almost as much skill in writing • (E) skilled as a director and almost so skilled in writing • Explanation: • This sentence is correct as written. Therefore, the correct answer is choice (A).

  10. Practice Question 4 • Looking at the context of the editorial, the words "abrupt" and "blitz" are meant to place the redevelopment program in an unfavorable light. • (A) Looking at the context of the editorial (B) In the context of the editorial (C) When the editorial's context is looked at (D) Considering its context (E) Examining the editorial's context

  11. Answer 4 • Looking at the context of the editorial, the words "abrupt" and "blitz" are meant to place the redevelopment program in an unfavorable light. • (A) Looking at the context of the editorial(B)In the context of the editorialCORRECT ANSWER(C) When the editorial's context is looked at(D) Considering its context(E) Examining the editorial's context Explanation:The problem with this sentence is that there is no noun that the underlined phrase modifies. Versions (A), (C), (D), and (E) also produce sentences with the same problem. The prepositional phrase in version (B) avoids this problem. The correct sentence reads: In the context of the editorial, the words "abrupt" and "blitz" are meant to place the redevelopment program in an unfavorable light.

  12. Practice Question 5 • Many drivers violate traffic laws knowingly and openly, in other respects they are law-abiding citizens, however. • (A)  Many drivers violate traffic laws knowingly and openly, in other respects they are law-abiding citizens, however. • (B)  Many drivers who are otherwise law-abiding citizens violate traffic laws knowingly and openly. • (C)  Many drivers violate traffic laws knowingly and openly and are otherwise law-abiding citizens. • (D)  Although otherwise law-abiding citizens, many drivers, however, violate traffic laws knowingly and openly. • (E)  Many drivers which violate traffic laws knowingly and openly are in other respects law-abiding citizens.

  13. Answer 5 • Many drivers violate traffic laws knowingly and openly, in other respects they are law-abiding citizens, however. • (A)   Many drivers violate traffic laws knowingly and openly, in other respects they are law-abiding citizens, however. • (B) Many drivers who are otherwise law-abiding citizens violate traffic laws knowingly and openly.CORRECT ANSWER • (C)    Many drivers violate traffic laws knowingly and openly and are otherwise law-abiding citizens. • (D)   Although otherwise law-abiding citizens, many drivers, however, violate traffic laws knowingly and openly. • (E)  Many drivers which violate traffic laws knowingly and openly are in other respects law-abiding citizens. • Explanation: • A major problem with the sentence is that it is a run-on sentence. The two independent clauses are improperly joined by a comma. Choice B correctly subordinates one of the clauses and avoids the redundancy and wrong choice of relative pronoun marring some of the other choices.

  14. Practice Question 6 • Underestimating its value, breakfast is a meal many people skip. • (A)  Underestimating its value, breakfast is a meal many people skip. • (B)  Breakfast is skipped by many people because of their underestimating its value. • (C)  Many people, underestimating the value of breakfast, and skipping it. • (D)  Many people skip breakfast because they underestimate its value. • (E)  A meal skipped by many people underestimating its value is breakfast.

  15. Answer 6 • Underestimating its value, breakfast is a meal many people skip. • (A)  Underestimating its value, breakfast is a meal many people skip. • (B)   Breakfast is skipped by many people because of their underestimating its value. • (C)   Many people, underestimating the value of breakfast, and skipping it. • (D) Many people skip breakfast because they underestimate its value.CORRECT ANSWER • (E)   A meal skipped by many people underestimating its value is breakfast. • Explanation: • The problem with this sentence is that the opening phrase "underestimating its value" modifies "people," not "breakfast." The order of the words in the sentence in choice (D) does not have this problem of a misplaced modifying phrase. Choice D also clarifies the causal relationship between the two clauses in the sentence. None of the other choices conveys the information presented in the sentence as effectively and directly as choice (D).

  16. Practice Question 7 • Raised in a large and noisy family, it was only when I went away to college that I learned how refreshing solitude could be. • (A)  it was only when I went away to college that I learned how refreshing solitude could be • (B)  when I went away to college I learned how refreshing solitude could be • (C)  going away to college taught me how refreshing solitude could be • (D)  I did not learn how refreshing solitude could be until I went away to college • (E)  refreshing solitude was unknown to me until I went away to college

  17. Answer 7 • Raised in a large and noisy family, it was only when I went away to college that I learned how refreshing solitude could be. • (A)   it was only when I went away to college that I learned how refreshing solitude could be • (B)   when I went away to college I learned how refreshing solitude could be • (C)   going away to college taught me how refreshing solitude could be • (D) I did not learn how refreshing solitude could be until I went away to collegeCORRECT ANSWER • (E)   refreshing solitude was unknown to me until I went away to college • Explanation: • Correcting the error in this sentence requires recognizing that the phrase "raised in a large and noisy family" modifies the speaker of the sentence. In choice D, where "I" is introduced, this connection made clearly and directly. The correct sentence reads: Raised in a large and noisy family, I did not learn how refreshing solitude could be until I went away to college.

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