The Sultan Who Loved Sheep. One day Jimminez, the mighty Sultan of Faminto por Sangue came to visit his harem, looking very sad and dejected. Madmae asked him, “Why do ye look so forsaken, yer majesty?”. “I would like to pay tribute to me hearties the Black Sheep Brigade,” the Sultan replied.
“I would like to pay tribute to me hearties the Black Sheep Brigade,” the Sultan replied.
Not THOSE Black Sheep!
There ye go…That’s more like it! Sheep Brigade,” the Sultan replied.
“But what can I give them that they don’t already have?” mused the Sultan.
“They are some of the best navigators and pillagers in the Midnight Ocean, they dress in black & gold, they have MASSIVE piles of PoE and an enormous ‘flet’…not to mention they’re completely insane.”
“Well my king,” said Bloodymarie, “many have long coveted yer most prized possession…perhaps offering the Sheep time with yer lovely harem…”
“ARRRGG! An excellent idea!” cried Jimminez, “I shall let the BSB royals take their portrait with which ever members of my harem they choose.”
Don’t get any bright ideas Sheep – yer the ones with all the PoE, these are on yer doubloon!
“But alas, ‘tis not a fitting enough tribute to King Stuysevant and his court, we must do more,” worried the Sultan.
“I have heard Prince Dustybottom tell tales of his big chest…perhaps he would donate it for our cause” suggested Elfgirl.
Not THAT Chest!
THIS chest…perhaps he would donate it for our cause” suggested Elfgirl. Chest!
“And I know that Dusty also likes to show off his big stick,” winked Gloriana.
Not THAT Stick!
NO! Not THAT Stick Either! Get yer mind out of the gutter!
“I think he should offer to duel Prince Rummykins to pay homage to skillz of the Sheep.”
Now that’s a Big Stick!
“Lord Yrag told me that Prince Dchow desires a custom bed,” remarked Bellalynn.
“While we can only make blue beds now, maybe someday – when the gods allow – we can give him free labor at yer furnisher on the bed of his dreams…”
Image censored due to disturbing content when the gods allow – we can give him free labor at yer furnisher on the bed of his dreams…”
“Wait!” cried Esperetta, “I would like to offer myself on a silver platter, covered in cookies, pudding and peanut-butter cups for the Sheep to feast upon.”
No REALLY, You don’t want to see it.
“Uh…that’s a fine idea Espy, yer sacrifice for the good of the flag will be noted,” remarked the Sultan as he shook his head and rolled his eyes.
So the Sultan went to visit the Brigade, bearing with him gifts and offers of service. The Sheep were so impressed with the celebrated Famintos, they gifted the Sultan with the isle of Orca in reward.
The Sultan being humbled by such a generous gift, vowed to the Sheep, "In honor of yer generosity, I shall establish the Faminto PvP League.”
“Every month on the isle of Orca, we will host a sinking PvP sloop battle. We will create two perpetually warring flags for this purpose – with crews named in honor of the glubbing we guarantee: Titanic and Lusitania.”
Hatfields vs. McCoys PvP sloop battle. We will create two perpetually warring flags for this purpose – with crews named in honor of the glubbing we guarantee: Titanic and Lusitania.”
NKoTB vs. BSB
“Participants will pay a nominal fee to join the crews and man the stations or navigate the ship in these themed contests. We will provide the sloops, appropriately stocked with rum and shot.”
Brains vs. Brawn
Great Taste vs. Less Filling
“Pirates will either sink (and suffer potential maimings), or claim bragging rights in that months challenge. We will make use of Orca’s monger for supplies, and even provide for post boom-boom tournaments and access to commemorative portraits on the island.”
Ceylon, the Sultan’s favorite added, “My love, we could even make the first contest a Black Sheep grudge match…”
“…naming sloops after the most boisterous of the BSB royals – Stuyvesant, Bendeall and Rummykins – and letting them shoot each other til the ocean swallows them.”
“Aye Lady Cey,” beamed the Sultan, “we can have the ships named for the crazy roommates battle it out first, then the winner will fight the Rummykins ship. And for the winning ship’s namesake…”
“Ooooh, I know! I know!” shouted the pink-clad Esperetta. “Whoever’s ship wins will get their choice of keepsake to remember the BSB’s stomping face on Orca and their profitable occupation for all these months.”
“But what keepsake would be appropriate for such a feat?” asked the eunuch Repentant.
Yep we really will send you one!
“I have just the prize…” smirked Espy, “they can choose between two cinematic treasures…”
Scratch that! feat?” asked the eunuch Repentant.
We are just getting started!!!
((Applause)) feat?” asked the eunuch Repentant.
Conceived and hatched by Ceylon
Photo mutilation by Jimminez
Sick & Twisted Ideas by the nutcases of Faminto por Sangue
Horny Sheep played by Jimminez