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Jennifer Harris . Communicating Like a Teacher Leader. Do you ever find yourself having a hard time getting children to do what you want? Do you ever want to win your spouse over to your

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jennifer harris

Jennifer Harris

Communicating Like a Teacher Leader


Do you ever find yourself

having a hard time getting

children to do what you want?

  • Do you ever want to win

your spouse over to your

way of thinking?

  • Have you ever had to

satisfy an irritated customer/parent/coworker?



you answered YES, to any of those questions then the following information from the book

“How to Win Friends & Influence People”

will help you in any situation

that requires effective

communication skills.

how to win friends influence people
How to Win Friends & Influence People
  • According to author, Dale Carnegie, communication and leadership is broken down into 4 parts.
  • These 4 main parts have principles that should be followed for effective communication and leadership. These principles should be viewed not just as tips, but more as a handbook or a way of life.
  • If all adults desired to follow

these simple principles,

humans would be much

more successful, happier,

and self-confident about life!

fundamental techniques in handling people
Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

Part One

  • Don’t Criticize, Condemn or Complain!
  • The Big Secret of Dealing with People

Give Honest & Sincere

Appreciation to Others

  • Arouse in the Other Person an Eager Want
part one fundamental techniques in handling people example of communication
Part One: Fundamental Techniques in Handling PeopleExample of Communication
  • In Part One of the book, the author relates a story of how using the techniques he has provided will lead to better results in people’s attitudes, self-confidence, and work performance.
  • A supervisor, Pam Dunham, had the responsibility of supervising a janitor who was not doing a very good job. Other employees would make fun of him and complain that he was terrible at his job.
  • Pam tried several ways to get the janitor motivated

about doing a better job. She never seemed

to have any success.


Once in awhile, she would notice that he did an excellent job in certain areas and would compliment him in front of the other employees.

  • Every day he began to do a better job, until he started doing all of his work efficiently and effectively. Other employees appreciated his hard work and praised him.

Appreciation Got Results

Where Criticism Failed!!

part two six ways to make people like you
Part TwoSix Ways to Make People Like You

1. Do this and you will be Welcome Anywhere

Become Genuinely Interested in Other People

2. A simple way to make a good First Impression


3. If you don’t do this you are headed for Trouble!

Remember that a Person’s Name is to that Person the Sweetest & Most Important Sound in Any Language!


Part Two: Six Ways to Make People Like You

4. An Easy Way to Become a Good Conversationalist

Be a Good Listener!

Encourage Others to

Talk About Themselves

5. How to Interest People

Talk in Terms of the

Other Person’s Interests

6. How to Make People Like You Instantly

Make the Other Person Feel Important


Do It Sincerely

part two six ways to make people like you example of communication
Part TwoSix Ways to Make People Like YouExample of Communication
  • In Part 2 of the book, the author portrays how making people like you will soften their side to communicate and usually lead to an outcome you desire.
  • Edward Harriman was looking for a job after completing military service and was having no luck being hired.
  • He did some research and found that most of the local companies were owned by a business maverick,

R.J. Funkhouser.

  • Mr. Harriman then researched how Mr. Funkhouser rose to success. He learned that he rose from poverty and worked hard to earn his fame and riches. He also discovered he was

motivated by his desire for power and money.


So when Mr. Harriman went for his interview with Mr. Funkhouser, he used all the researched knowledge to his advantage.

  • Mr. Harriman entered Mr. Funkhouser’s large,

elaborate office and was seated in front of his

beautiful carved wooden desk. Mr. Funkhouser

got right to the point and barked out what could

he do for him.

  • Mr. Harriman immediately told Mr. Funkhouser that he believed he could make money for him. This got Mr. Funkhouser’s attention and he offered Mr. Harriman a more comfortable seat on the leather sofa; where they sat together and discussed Mr. Harriman’s qualifications, ideas, and how they would relate to Mr. Funkhouser’s success.
  • Mr. Harriman got the job on the spot and both men prospered.

Talking in Terms of the Other Person’s

Interests Pays Off for Both Parties

part three how to win people to your way of thinking
Part ThreeHow to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
  • You Can’t Win an Argument

The only way to get the Best of an argument is to AVOIDit!

  • How to Avoid Making Enemies

Show Respect for the Other Person’s Opinions.

Never say “You’re Wrong!”

  • If You’re Wrong, Admit It!

If you are wrong, admit it quickly & emphatically


Part Three: How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

  • Begin in a Friendly Way
  • The Secret of Socrates

Get the Other Person Saying

“YES, YES” Immediately!

  • The Safety Valve in Handling Complaints

Let the Other Person do a

Great Deal of the Talking


Part Three: How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

  • How to get Cooperation

Let the Other Person Feel

the Idea is His or Hers

  • A formula that will work Wonders for you

Try Honestly to See Things from the Other Person’s Point of View

  • What Everybody wants

Be Sympathetic with the

Other Person’s Ideas and Desires


Part Three: How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

  • An Appeal that Everybody Likes

Appeal to the Nobler Motives

  • The Movies Do It! The TV Does It!

Why Don’t You Do It???

Dramatize Your Ideas

  • When Nothing Else Works, Try This

Throw Down a Challenge

part three how to win people to your way of thinking an example of communication
Part Three: How to Win People to Your Way of ThinkingAn Example of Communication
  • In part 3, the author does an excellent job giving examples of how temper, a hostile attitude, and argumentative tones can ruin communication. You might think you have won an argument, but did you win over the other person’s way of thinking???
  • O.L. Straub, an engineer, wanted to get his rent reduced. He had a tough and stubborn landlord. Other tenants in the apartment building had tried for years to get their rent reduced with no luck.
  • Mr. Straub proceeded to write the landlord a kind letter informing him that he would be moving out of the apartment as soon as the lease was over.
  • The landlord went straight to Mr. Straub’s apartment as soon as he

received the letter. Mr. Straub met him at the door with a

smile and a friendly hello.


Mr. Straub didn’t mention the rent at first. Instead, he began talking about how much he liked his apartment and complemented the landlord on the way he ran the building. He mentioned he would love to stay another year but just couldn’t afford it.

  • The landlord was not expecting such a friendly conversation and began to tell Mr. Straub of his troubles with other tenants complaining.
  • The landlord told Mr. Straub it was great to have an appreciative tenant living in the apartment building and offered to lower his rent. He even asked how much Mr. Straub could afford and was there any renovations or repairs he needed.

According to Lincoln:

“A drop of honey catches more flies

than a gallon of gall”

part four be a leader how to change people without giving offense or rousing resentment
Part FourBe A Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Rousing Resentment
  • If you Must find Fault this is the way to Begin

Begin with Praise and Honest Appreciation

  • How to Criticize and Not be Hated for It

Call Attention to People’s Mistakes Immediately

  • Talk About Your Own Mistakes Before

Criticizing the Other Person


Part Four: Be A Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Rousing Resentment

  • No One Likes to Take Orders

Ask Questions Instead

of Giving Direct Orders

  • Let the Other Person Save Face
  • How to Spur People on to Success

Praise the Slightest Improvement

& Praise Every Improvement


Part Four: Be A Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Rousing Resentment

  • Give the Person a Fine

Reputation to Live Up To

  • Use Encouragement!

Make the Fault Seem Easy to Correct

  • Make People Glad to do What You Want
Part Four: Be A Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Rousing ResentmentAn Example of Communication
  • In Part 4, Dale Carnegie reveals the traits and characteristics that all great, successful leaders posses. One such story illustrates how a leader has the ability to lead others to a “We Can Do It” attitude by not demanding orders and shoving authority on them.
  • Ian Macdonald was the general manager of a small manufacturing plant that produced machine parts.
  • One day he had the opportunity to accept a very large order that would be very beneficial to his company. However, he knew the order was so large that it seemed impossible that he would be able to meet the promised delivery date. He was

about to decline the order, but instead went to his

employees about the situation.


He called all the employees together, explained the situation, and told them how this large order could help the company.

  • He then began asking the employees did they think it would be possible to produce an order this large on time.
  • He proceeded to ask them what would be some things they could do to make the delivery date for this large order on time.
  • The employees brainstormed many ideas and insisted to Mr. MacDonald that he accept the large order and they would get the order out on time.
  • The order was accepted and delivered on time because the employees approached the task with a “We Can Do It” attitude.
  • Would the same result have happened if Mr. MacDonald pushed, rushed, and ordered his

employees to work faster or harder to get the

order through????

could you use these principles in your work environment
Could You Use These Principles in Your Work Environment?


  • The communication methods Dale Carnegie presents in 4 parts of his book are adaptable to any workplace, even parenting, and especially EDUCATION!
  • Most of the principles he has presented such as: don’t criticize, condemn, give sincere appreciation, smile, be a good listener, make others feel important, praise and encouragement are things all educators are aware of and practice.
  • However, we do forget some of these simple things from time to time. But just think of all the accomplishments students would be more willing to achieve if they have self-confidence and appreciation from their teacher.

One communication method that would really work well is the one on being a good listener, and letting the other person do all of the talking about what interests them.

  • For example, if there is a reluctant student or behavior challenged student, this would be a good communication tactic to try.
  • Possibly by learning what interests him and listening to him, he will learn that you are interested in his likes.
  • I bet he will try to show more attention in class and try harder to stay out trouble!!

Another good communication skill given in the book is to begin with praise and honest appreciation.

  • This is excellent when communicating with a parent, fellow colleague, or administrator.
  • When we have to critique a situation or idea it is always easier to give them praise before doing so. This makes them more susceptible to the criticism because they are still on a “high” – reflecting about their positives you have pointed out.
now time to put these principles into action
NOW Time to Put these Principles Into ACTION!!!
  • If you want these principles to work for you, then put a plan in place and implement it.
  • Remember these principles should be viewed not as tips for communication and leadership, but a handbook which should be reviewed frequently!

Action Plan

  • To be successful in Communication & Leadership, you need to have the desire to want to communicate more effectively.
  • Review each principle and reflect how you could make it work in your environment. Think and Reflect before Practicing!
  • Don’t try to learn all the methods or principles at once. Pick just a couple to practice and master before moving on.

Make a game out of practicing the principles or methods. For example, choose a spouse, child, or co-worker to give a dime to each time you break one of the principles.

  • Enjoy your victories!!

When a method or principle works for you, record it down so that when you get discouraged you will remember how you triumphed before!

  • Purchase this book!!!!!

I wish I had read this book prior to entering

the workplace and becoming a parent. It

has been one of the most inspirational and

practical books I have ever read. I

recommend everyone has a copy!!!