Bullying Prevention: A Culture of Courageous Allies

Bullying Prevention: A Culture of Courageous Allies Karen Smith, Retired Principal Mark Twain Elementary, Brentwood 2011 National School of Character 2011 Missouri School of Character 2010 National Profile in Character 2009 National Blue Ribbon School 2009 Missouri Gold Star School 2008 Missouri School of Character December 2012

Objectives for this workshop: • Review what we know about peer mistreatment and have a better understanding of how we might unintentionally contribute to the problem. • Examine what we have in place for dealing with incidents of peer aggression including activating bystanders. • Main focus will be to look at how to establish a school-wide culture that intentionally and proactively supports caring and supportive relationships between children and adults within the school community.

Let’s Get Started • Review what we know about peer mistreatment and have a better understanding of how we might unintentionally contribute to the problem.

A Quick Review • What do we know about bullying? • What are common misunderstandings? • What are the components needed for change? • What are some of the steps needed in dealing with and reacting to incidents of peer to peer aggression (bullying). • What is an ally…bystander, witness, teacher, parent, school community?

Effects of Bullying • Bullying increases rates of childhood and adult depression. • Bullied children are likely to be lonely and to have difficulty making friends. • Bullying lowers academic achievement, reduces students’ scores on tests, and impacts their ability to reason analytically.

Seems self evident that: • If a child is worried: • how he or she will be treated by classmates, • if the teacher will be disappointed or angry with them, • if they will be bullied or ostracized because they look or act differently; • then the LAST thing on their mind will be learning!

Bullying – Inevitable? • Many abusive behavior patterns were once seen as normal. • What if child and/or spousal abuse was still a private family matter? • Being bullied is NOT a right of passage. • How many times have we said…just don’t pay attention to them and go play with someone else?

Similarities of Abuse -to Childhood Bullying • Power differential • Behavior justified by placing blame and responsibility on the victims • History of silence from bystanders and victims

How to Make Bullying More Likely • Ask students to choose their own teams or work partners. • Leaving students unsupervised – staff must use proximity. • Showing we value some students over others, that we dislike some students, and we treat some students with disrespect. Hard to hear but kids pick up on subtle, hidden messages. • Watch your body language. This, they can read.

Let’s explore where we are now? • What do we currently have in place for dealing with incidents of peer aggression including activating bystanders.

Components of School Change • Help aggressive children change. (60% of bullies by age 24 have a criminal conviction with 40% having 3 or more). • Support targets. Targets are more prone to depression and tragically suicide. • Empower bystanders. Bystanders often feel anxiety and helplessness. • Full impact includes: Patterns of aggressive behavior and intimidation can impact future adult relationships for bullies, targets, and bystanders.

So Where do We Start? • Establish clear consequences for aggression. • CONSISTENCY! Teachers need to be on the same page and use the same language.

Activity: Table Talk Sharing HOW DO YOU KNOW? • Are expectations for peer interactions in a variety of settings clearly defined? • Do students have voice in the process? • Do you have a process for dealing with and tracking incidents of bullying separate from the discipline procedures? • Are the processes effective and clear? • Are staff members consistent in handling situations of peer aggression and do they regularly discuss and review incidents? • Are students held accountable for their actions? • Do adults model the behaviors for a positive environment?

Stopping Peer to Peer Aggression • Report aggressive behavior on a discipline rubric or referral. • Investigate all reported incidents, determine appropriate consequences, assist student in calling home, and keep parents informed. • Support reflection process.

Mark Twain Bullying Prevention ReportPlease use to report incidents of:

Form Cont. • Student_____________________ • Staff Member Reporting _____________________ • Location____________________________ • Date and Time_________________________ • __Witnessed by me ____Reported by Students • Who? __________________________________ If you did not witness the behavior, which other students were nearby and did witness the behavior? Description of Problem (Please be specific)

The Rubric, Schools Where Everyone Belongs • Uniform and clear behavior guidelines school wide. • Predictable and escalating consequences. • Structured opportunities for aggressive children to reflect and learn from their behavior- monitor this process.

Mark Twain Behavior Grid for Peer to Peer Verbal and Physical Inappropriate Behavior Yearlong Guidelines

Clear distinction of levels with a different process for addressing bullying in level one.

Schools Where Everyone Belongs Book Study Go to: http://csdtechpd.org

The Behavior grid should be a living document • As you implement this process of using a rubric keep in mind that what is on paper may sound good but if the process has flaws you need to address these throughout the implementation stage. • Don’t be afraid to make changes. • Don’t be afraid to customize for certain students: remember fair is not always equal. • Most importantly have a process for evaluating the effectiveness of both the rubric and the fidelity of the staff in implementing the plan.

Things to Consider • Could the grade level change the level of consequences? Yes • Will each incident (behavior report) be addressed by a staff member? Yes • Will students be accountable for reflecting on the behavior? Yes, through a Think About It Form • Are all behavior incidents office referrals? No but they are all addressed. • Do severe behaviors lead to more serious consequences? Absolutely • Student safety and well-being is the top priority for both the target and the offender.

Bullying Action Plan • In cases of repetitive behaviors that meet the definitions of bullying (name-calling, exclusion, rumors, threats or hitting the following is recommended. • Place student on the Behavior Rubric process. • Follow guidelines of Rubric consistently. • Make sure that an adult is addressing the issue by working with the student through the reflection process (Think About It Form). • Escalating behavior moves the student to a higher level of discipline and a Behavior Referral should be issued.

Severe Behavior • These behaviors can be a part of the Level Two Behavior Rubric process and are usually defined by safe schools procedures. • Referral to the office is usually initiated. • Students with these behavior concerns will need an individual behavior plan and if necessary an alternate learning space if removal from the classroom becomes necessary. • Involve parents, counselors, mentors and administrators to assist in addressing these concerns.

Helping Children Take Responsibility • What did you do? • What was wrong with that? • What problem were you trying to solve? What goal were you trying to reach? • Next time you have that problem or goal, how will you solve it or reach it without hurting someone else?

Reflection Sheet Example Think-About-it Form Date: ________________ Name: ___________________________________ What did you do? • Please be specific. Start with “I.” Tell me later about what the other student did. What was wrong with what you did? • Who did you hurt? How do you know you hurt them? What did you hear them say or see on their face(s) that showed you that you hurt them? What problem were you trying to solve? • Did you want attention? Did you want to be left alone? Were you trying to have fun? Were you already mad about something else? Next time you have that problem, how will you solve it without hurting anyone? • Please list three ways to solve this problem in the future without hurting anyone else. Circle the one you plan to use.

Everything is not always black and white. How do we address different categories of misbehavior? • Low level problems are not addressed in the rubric. These are usually disagreements by friends that do not include any of the behaviors such as name calling that define bullying. These behaviors are best addressed by providing those involved opportunities to talk and listen. A trusted teacher or counselor can best help students solve these problems. *Warning • If left unresolved these behaviors tend to escalate and could wind up on the rubric.

Activating Bystanders • Teachers as bystanders…what is our role?

Responsibilities Defined • School-wide staff • Model the behaviors you expect from your students including respect and cooperation • Maintain positive relationships with staff and students • Greet students by name in halls and outside classroom areas • Listen to concerns and help students problem solve • Use the Behavior Grid for all incidents of bullying so have these with you • Ensure you are familiar with behavior expectations and maintain consistency in handling situations

Classroom Teacher Responsibilities • Classroom Teacher • Establish clear norms (classroom expectations) with your class from day one consistent and aligned with the goals of the school community. • Use consequences fairly and consistently. • Establish a positive relationship with parents early in the year using specific, positive notes, phone calls or emails • Seek assistance from colleagues before a problem escalates to a level of classroom disruption that impacts learning.

Counselor Responsibilities • Counselor • Work to resolve peer conflicts • Assist teachers in reviewing behavior plans • Help teachers enforce Behavior Rubrics in a consistent manner • Help teachers develop and implement effective classroom behavior systems • Assist principal in addressing every bully report • Work with families • Provide interventions for at-risk students including friendship circles • Teach classroom guidance lessons that support the schools mission and goals for a nurturing learning environment • Support teachers, parents and students

Principal Responsibilities • Principal • Investigate all reports of bullying and aggression • Use rubric to guide consequences • Assist students in calling home to share behavior concerns with parents • Assist teachers in developing interventions • Establish positive relationships with parents • Observe in the classroom and give suggestions for troubleshooting classroom management • Establish open communication with parents, counselors and teachers to maintain a positive school climate for all learners.

Questions to consider when assessing the role of the bystander in reducing bullying. • What is a bystander? • How can bystanders, who outnumber targets and bullies by an estimated 75-80%, play a key role in reducing incidents of bullying? • What works and what doesn’t? • What are the types of bystanders and how can we help all bystanders fall into the “helpful” category? • What is the role of adults in developing a safe culture for bystanders to take action??

Did you know that: • Bystanders will sometimes “bully the bully” and start a fight when intervening. Why? Students have seen so much aggressive confrontation on television, they have trouble understanding any other form of confrontation. • Bystanders will sometimes “freeze” when confronting the bully because of the risks of losing friendships of popular peers or because of the fear of becoming the next target. • It is sometimes more socially advantageous to support the more powerful and high-status bully.

Alternate strategies to activate bystanders. • Discourage students from confronting bullies unless they know it is a safe situation. • Encourage other strategies including notifying a trusted adult and becoming active in relationship groups to reach out to targets.

Did you know that: • Reporting to an adult still leaves the bystander at risk for retaliation. • Confidentiality needs to be in place to protect the bystander who reports incidents. • Bystanders fear that adults will not take them seriously. Both adults and bullies put a negative connotation on “tattling.” This attitude gives MORE power to the bully. • Bystanders are concerned that adults will not take action.

Alternate strategies to activate bystanders. • Clearly define the difference between reporting and tattling. Make sure that the staff members are consistent in acting upon this definition. • Institute anonymous methods of gaining information from bystanders including drop boxes or phone messaging systems. • Eliminate use of word tattling. (Because of negative connotation) • Adults are prepared to act on reports and protect youth from retaliation.

Did you know that: • Adult behavior towards students who are socially awkward or different in some ways may, in fact, perpetuate bullying if it differs from their behaviors towards other students. • Bystanders may not be equipped with the skills needed to befriend a peer that has mood disorders or social skill deficiencies.

Alternate strategies to activate bystanders. • Bystanders need strong adult role models to know how to reach out to, and include isolated peers. • Establishing a school culture where everyone can expect to have friends requires a focus on building friendship teams of trained volunteers with adult support.

Types of Bystanders • Inactive: Somewhat aware of bullying situations but try to avoid them and build a wall around the pain. • Angry: Are annoyed with the target for not taking action to deflect the bullying and therefore forcing them to witness persistent abuse. • Fearful: Feel hurt about watching a peer being picked on but fear retaliation if they intervene or tell an adult and become a “snitch”. • Voyeur: Get sadistic pleasure out of observing the bullying; reap a benefit from the realization that they have escaped the cruelty. • Accomplice: Cause the most harm because by joining the bully in the put-downs or harassment, they give the bullies greater power. • Helpful: the heroes that challenge the bully by supporting the target on the spot or by reaching out to him/her to relieve the isolation. from Bullies, Targets and Witnesses by SuEllen Fried

The bystander we are looking for to help address bullying concerns in our schools is: • A child who will speak up if it is safe to do so. • A child who will contact a trusted adult in a manner that is safe and comfortable. • A child who is willing and has the skills to reach out in friendship to a target to relieve the isolation. • A child who is an engaged member of a caring school community who works to create a safe and nurturing environment for all students. • A child who can count on adults for support and actions to address bullying concerns.

What students report that needs to be in place for bystanders to take a stand. • Adults need to: • Let students report privately and confidentially • Welcome reports and act on them • Form positive relationships with students so that they feel free to report bullying (build trust) • Don’t be afraid to take action to stop bullying, and • Listen and keep eyes and ears open.

Something to share with all children. • We stand up for others because we will all need people to stand up for us some day. • Bystanders’ silence hurts targets of bullying. • When we reach out to other kids who are excluded, we make good friends. Peggy Moss (2003) from the book Say Something

Final thoughts as we as adults move to support bystanders • 60-80% of students are bystanders who can make a difference in creating a caring school climate. • Staff are enabled to reduce bullying when bystanders tell about incidents vs. sticking to a “code of silence.” • When bystanders include and befriend excluded youth, they empower those students and help them heal. • Bystanders benefit when they choose to intervene because they no longer have feelings of guilt.

What About a Proactive Approach? • Integrating Core Values into the Culture of the School • Providing leadership opportunities for students • Give students voice in the way they want their classroom to be through class meetings for both academic and behavioral goals. • Provide opportunities for students to practice responsibility to others and self • Build cross age and peer relationships through programs such as Buddies and Families • Take the time to teach and model sportsmanship • Reflect on where you are and where you want to be as an adult community • Model what you preach!

In a Culture of Caring • Agreed upon norms, that reflect student voice, define behavior expectations in the classroom. Reflection on how we are meeting these expectations is a part of the school day/week. • Yearlong, cross- grade classroom buddies provide opportunities for relationship building across the school. • K-5 “Families” that meet monthly to explore character traits and which are facilitated by students. • Social skills are practiced through adult mentors and adult role models. • Service learning is part of who we are. • Initiatives are intentional and proactive.

Question to be asked: How does a person become responsible? • Talk to a table partner to brainstorm and come up with your top two responses. • Come to consensus at your table. • What is the groups top two choices?

The Doing Part: Empowering Allies • In other words we need to offer opportunities for our students to develop, practice, and define those traits that are becoming part of the school culture. • Knowing the good is not enough, • Feeling the good is a step in the right direction, • But doing the good… now your talking!

Concrete Initiatives • CE is embedded into the K-5 curriculum through lessons and activities. • PE program promotes sportsmanship that transfers to the playground. • Expectations not met are handled through reflection. • Adult role models include staff, OASIS seniors, community mentors, and parents.

Integrated Lesson Designs A Fine Feathered Flock Overview Patricia Polacco’s Mr. Lincoln’s Way provides an excellent opportunity for teachers to introduce the topic of respect. Mr. Lincoln, an African American principal, tries to help Eugene, a school bully, overcome his attitude towards people of another race. He helps Eugene realize that even though people are different (race, gender, etc.), everyone should be treated with respect. Mr. Lincoln uses the school’s atrium to help him accomplish his task. This lesson offers connections to reading/language art skills (cause-effect, plot, setting, character, and writing); character education (caring, respect, kindness); and art (creating and painting birds, creating an “indoor” atrium). Lesson Objectives Students will be able to: • Identify story elements in a story • Identify the main characters in a story and tell their character qualities based on actions in the story • Identify ways to respect others • Identify ways to treat others with kindness www.cep.org

Bullying Prevention: A Culture of Courageous Allies