DEALING WITH CONFLICT

1. DEALING WITH CONFLICT Agent Jeffery Shall Agent Michael Nielsen any similarities with the Homeland Security Alert System is intentionally accidental “Five Levels of Conflict” used by permission of Resources for Resolving Conflict

2. LOW – Low Risk of Conflict GUARDED – General Risk of Conflict ELEVATED – Significant Risk of Conflict HIGH – High Risk of Conflict SEVERE – Severe Risk of Conflict

3. LOW – Low Risk of Conflict “We have a problem to solve.” • Individuals talk to each other. • Information is shared openly and honestly. • Feelings are owned and cared for. • The other person’s views are respected. • Differences are negotiated.

4. GUARDED – General Risk of Conflict “We have a definite disagreement.” • Individuals talk to “friends” about the problem. • Information is vague, unclear and partial. • Feelings are guarded and often denied. • The other person’s views are trivialized. • Differences are debated.

5. ELEVATED – Significant Risk of Conflict “We have a contest to win.” • Individuals choose sides & seek supporters. • Information becomes distorted and one-sided. • Feelings become tense and justified. • The other person’s views are rejected. • Differences are distorted.

6. HIGH – High Risk of Conflict “It’s Time to Fight – or Flee” • Individuals warn of serious consequences if… • Information is spiritualized into “good” and “evil”. • Feelings become frozen or hysterical. • The other person’s views are attacked as sinful. • Differences are seen as absolutes.

7. SEVERE – Severe Risk of Conflict “It’s Time to ‘Die’ Right.” • Individuals threaten and refuse to leave. • Information gets into ideology, with opponents seen as “satans.” • Feelings become non-entities. • The other person’s views must be destroyed. • Differences become the target of “holy war.”

8. To Whom Conflict Can Occur Intra- Inter- personal group Extra-

9. Where Conflict Can Occur money, meetings, religious, gender, technology, values, staff, knowledge, roommate(s), romantic relationship, parental, class, work, sports, group project, professor, supervisor, commitments, time, floor, apartment, street, hallway, bathroom, lunch line, etc., etc., etc. Intra- Inter- Extra- Personal/group

10. When Conflict Occurs Conflict forces us to make a choice. Don’t be afraid… Be Ready... TO MEDIATE!

11. Why Mediate Conflict Why Should We Mediate? • To provide structure and focus • To find a compromise • To diffuse a situation • Communication can calm us down • To stop violence and increase the peace • The issue can be resolved • To end an argument

12. Keys to Mediating Conflict Keys to making mediation work for you • Must be voluntary. Don’t force anyone to meet with you • Everyone involved must be honest and express their sincere feelings • Desire to find the best situation for all parties involved • Sarcasm, insults, name-calling, bullying, and obscenities should not be used

13. Mediator’s Role in Conflict Mediator’s Role in Conflicts • Setting Rules for the Mediation • Problem Definition • Commitment • Highlighting Issues and Behaviors • Negotiation • Contracting • Follow-up

14. Strategies to Mediating Conflict Strategies while resolving conflict • Never take sides • Get all of the conflicts on the table • Be aware of all the barriers to conflict resolution • Do not escalate conflicts by involving more people than necessary • Don’t be afraid to ask for help • Always remember duct tape and bottled water

15. Mediating Conflict – Wrap Up End Game • Schedule follow up meeting • Informally “check-in” • Ensure confidentiality • Notify other staff as needed • Make sure you and the conflict mediatees have a written copy of agreements • Document mediation process

16. The End