Swatting Flies Minimizing Backbiting as an Organizational Distraction A Presentation for

1. Swatting Flies Minimizing Backbiting as an Organizational Distraction A Presentation for Cornerstone United Methodist Church Kendall L. Stewart, M.D. March 9, 2003

2. What are theobjectivesof this presentation? • After listening to this presentation, you will be able to • Describe three problems that backbiting causes in our organizations • List three practical strategies for minimizing backbiting • Explain why you should employ those strategies, and • Specify exactly how those strategies can be successfully implemented in your everyday life. I want to speak frankly, and that may make you uncomfortable. Heck, speaking frankly makes me uncomfortable at times. I once treated an exhibitionist and a saran-wrapped psychotic.

3. What’s in this for you? • Backbiters are the pesky flies of organizational life. • When others do it, they are attempting to undermine and annoy; when we do it, we’re only expressing our opinions or trying to help. • While eliminating backbiting entirely is unrealistic and undesirable, minimizing the impact of backbiting on our lives is a worthy goal. • Here are some practical strategies that a wise mentor might suggest. • Even the partial implementation of some of these strategies can make a world of difference in your life. This is the kind of stuff that is hard to remember because it goes against the grain. A doctor asked me how you can tell you’re getting Alzheimer’s. Another colleague’s team lost on Sunday.

4. Wear insect repellant. Avoid garbage dumps. Install window screens. Don’t leave the door open. Hang fly traps. Smack them hard when they light. Keep moving. Keep some bullfrogs around. Stay cool. Sweat attracts flies. Keep the place clean. Listen for the buzz. Seal the cracks. Don’t give them time to lay eggs. Stay focused. Don’t lose your head over a few flies. Drain the swamps. Shoo them out (into the light). Keep a fly swatter handy. Remain (mildly) annoyed. Be realistic. You can’t kill all of the flies. Recognize that flies can be helpful. What are some practical strategies for minimizing the impact of backbiting? If you find yourself engaged in swatting flies regularly, you are doing something wrong. A woman found her husband with a swatter. “I’ve killed 3 males and 2 females!”

5. Why should you? Backbiting flies look for every opening. Once inside, they are not easily discouraged. Shooing them back out is a lot harder than keeping them out in the first place. A promise of confidentiality beforehand is an open door. A failure to breech confidentiality when you realize what is happening is another open door. Passive listening is yet another open door. How can you? Never make a promise of confidentiality before you have heard the message. Make it clear that your open door policy does not extend to backbiting—and then stick to your guns. Ask the flies whether they have confronted the person they are criticizing. If not, inform them that they have a choice. Go back to those to whom you have mistakenly pledged confidentiality. Recognize that if flies are visiting you regularly, you are leaving a door open. Stop leaving the door open. Fellow executive came in to say her Director complained about my Director. I gave her Director 24 hours to act. A doctor came to Randy to complain about me. I called the doctor myself.

6. Why should you? In every organization, there are places where flies breed and swarm. Spend some time there and you will no long smell the stench. By your very presence, you legitimize what is going on. Feed on this filth, and you will start to crave it as a regular diet. Any attempt to point out the destructiveness of what is going on will be drowned out by the feeding frenzy. How can you? Avoid these places and situations. If you must pass through, keep moving. Don’t sit down. Spend your time upwind from these sewers. Remind yourself that bad habits are rarely discontinued. They are replaced with better habits. If you can’t find positive groups, learn to be alone. Insist that boaters row instead of drift. (Kendall trips) Avoid garbage dumps. The Chaplain of Bourbon Street. Wayne Young in San Diego. John Hurley in New Orleans. Jonathan’s experience in the teachers’ lounge. Medical Directors in Dallas—bad flight and whining.

7. Why should you? Neither flies nor backbiters are easily discouraged. These varmints view the absence of adverse consequences as encouragement; they will conclude that you are just another rotting carcass. Strong consequences will stop some backbiting altogether—and encourage other flies to move on. Aggressive reaction will force us to look at ourselves. How can you? Tell them that this is making you uncomfortable. Ask them to confront the victim directly. Document what they said. Withdraw your commitment of keep what they said in confidence. Consider telling on them—if they won’t tell on themselves. Smack them hard when they light. Smacking others in love is the most effective approach. Dr. Bertrand challenged me about my complaint about a professor. Signed my diploma and offered to nominate me for a Rhoades.

8. What have you learned from this presentation? • We are all backbiters. • We have all been backbitten. • We ought to strive to minimize the backbiting in our lives. • It is not easy. • And most people don’t try very hard. • You now know some things that can help you make a difference in your life and the lives of those around you. We all have our excuses. Here are some reportedly recorded by school secretaries.

9. Where can you learnmore? • Stewart, Kendall L., et. al. A Portable Mentor for Organizational Leaders, SOMCPress, 2003 • Stewart, Kendall L., “Physician Traps: Some Practical Ways to Avoid Becoming a Miserable Doctor” A SOMCPress White Paper, SOMCPress, July 24, 2002 • Stewart, Kendall L. et. al, “On Being Successful at SOMC: Some Practical Guidelines for New Physicians” A SOMCPress White Paper, SOMCPress, January 2001 • Stewart, Kendall L., “Bigwigs Behaving Badly: Understanding and Coping with Notable Misbehavior” A SOMCPress White Paper, SOMCPress, March 11, 2002 • Stewart, Kendall L., “Relationships: Building and Sustaining the Interpersonal Foundations of Organizational Success” A SOMCPress White Paper, SOMCPress, March 11, 2002

10. How can we contactyou? Kendall L. Stewart, M.D. Medical Director Southern Ohio Medical Center President & CEO The SOMC Medical Care Foundation, Inc. 1805 27th Street Portsmouth, Ohio 45662 740.356.8153 stewartk@somc.org www.somc.org

11. Whatquestionsdo you have? www.somc.org Southern Ohio Medical Center SafetyQualityServiceRelationshipsPerformance