Positive guidance
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Positive Guidance. Dawnita S. Nilles Extension Agent/Family Resource Coordinator NDSU Extension Service/Region IV, CSCC Serving Families in the Counties of Grand Forks, Nelson, Pembina & Walsh. What do you view as. Punishment. Discipline. What do you view as.

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Positive Guidance

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Positive guidance

Positive Guidance

Dawnita S. Nilles

Extension Agent/Family Resource Coordinator

NDSU Extension Service/Region IV, CSCC

Serving Families in the Counties of Grand Forks, Nelson, Pembina & Walsh


What do you view as

What do you view as

Punishment

Discipline

What do you view as


Children are disciplined when

Shown positive alternatives rather than just told “no”

see that actions affect others

appropriate behavior is rewarded

fair, simple rules are enforced consistently

behavior is controlled through fear

feelings are not respected

they behave to avoid a penalty or to get a bribe

only tell the child what not to do

Children are Disciplined when…

Children are Punished when…

VS


Children who are disciplined

learn to share and cooperate

are better able to handle their own anger

are more self-disciplined

feel successful and in control of themselves

feel humiliated

hide their mistakes

tend to be angry & aggressive

fail to develop control of themselves

Children who are Disciplined…

Children who are Punished…

VS


In the long term discipline equals

Self-discipline

Responsibility

Cooperation

Problem Solving Skills

Resentment

Revenge

Rebellion

Retreat

In the Long Term, Discipline Equals…

VS

In the Long Term,

Punishment Equals…


Tools that are necessary

Tools that are Necessary:


Reasons for misbehavior

Reasons for Misbehavior

  • Attention

  • Power/Control

  • Don’t feel well

  • Lack knowledge or experience

  • Feeling upset/insecure

  • Feeling discouraged/frustrated


Limits need to be

clear

positive

age appropriate

reasonable

Limits need to be:

When using Limits:

  • follow through

  • be consistent

  • involve children


Consequences 2 kinds

Consequences - 2 kinds

  • Natural – happens because of something the child did or didn’t do

  • Logical – arranged by the parent but is logically related to what the child did


Listening

Listening

  • listen quietly and attentively

  • acknowledge their feelings

  • give the feeling a name

  • restate what you heard them say


Encouragement

Encouragement

  • Give helpful praise

  • Name specific actions or deeds

  • describe what you see or feel

  • sum up their behaviors in a word or two


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