Parents and Development

1. “There is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future in.” Graham Greene Parents and Development Rae Ann Hirsh and Karen Matis http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crQ7Y2alDxI

2. Perfect Parent Profile Activity Group One: Create a “perfect parent” profile from the perspective of a 3 year old child Group Three: Create a “perfect parent” profile from the perspective of a 17 year old Group Two: Create a “perfect parent” profile from the perspective of a 13 year old child Group Four: Create a “perfect parent” profile from the perspective of a new mother

3. Job Description of Parenthood Job Title: Good enough parent Hours Per Week: 24 hours/7 days a week Pay: Rewards are not financial Holiday Entitlement: earned after 18 years of service (hopefully) Accountable to: Self, family, community, all of society Responsible for: All family members under 18 Finish Job Description . . . . .

4. Societal Expectations of Parents • General court policies expect parents to: • Provide a home that fosters a child’s identity in a community • Provide clothing, shelter, education, health care, social, and recreational activities • Provide love, security, and emotional support necessary for emotional development • Foster intellectual, social, and moral development • Socialize by setting limits/encouraging socially acceptable behaviors • Protect from physical, emotional, and social harm • Maintain family interaction on a stable, satisfying basis through communication, problem solving and response to needs

5. Major Parenting Style Influences of the Modern Era • John Locke • We need to socialize children into the adult world • Children begin as a blank slate (tabula rasa), and they need help to ‘fit’ into the adult world • Nurture and technique • John Rousseau • Adults need to adapt to the child’s emerging needs, interests, and abilities • The mind is part of nature and needs to follow its natural course • Nature and intuition

6. Technique Approach • Benjamin Bloom, J.M. Hunt, Jerome Bruner • Childrearing is a result of experience and technique • Education is important in the raising of children • Parenting was a technique that could be learned by non-parental caregivers

7. Technique Authors Have Dominated Parenting Field • Prescriptive in tone • Judgmental of parenting behaviors • Specific in advice

8. John Watson • Strict childrearing approach • “The time is when we used to think it took a generation to make a well bred person. Now we know parents can do it in a few months time if they start to cultivate the garden before the weeds begin to grow.”

9. Intuitive Parenting • In modern times, the intuitive parenting advice givers have grown smaller • These three leaders dominate the intuitive parenting field: Benjamin Spock, T. Berry Brazelton, Penelope Leach

10. Dr. Benjamin Spock • “Don’t take too seriously all that the neighbors say. Don’t be overawed by what experts say. Don’t be afraid to trust your own common sense. Bringing up your child won’t be a complicated job if you take it easy, trust your own instincts, and follow the directions that your doctor gives you. We know for a fact that the natural loving care that kindly parents give their children is a hundred times more valuable than their knowing how to pin a diaper on just right or how to make a formula expertly.” • No ‘judging’ of parents

11. Parenting Styles

12. What is a Parenting Style? • The emotional climate in which parents raise their children • Responsiveness • Demandingness

13. Parenting Style

14. Authoritarian: Technique Approach Authoritarian: Technique Approach

15. Permissive: Nature Approach

16. Authoritative: Technique/Nature

17. Affect Synchrony • Parents facilitate intelligence through nurturing emotional development and being in tune with their child’s affect • Parents help their children develop intelligence by nurturing emotional levels of development

18. Affect Synchrony • http://www.youtube.com/dirfloortime

19. Conversation Styles • Many cultures have different ways to conversing and participating in a conversation. Susan Steinbach

20. Bowling • One person speaks at a time • Reluctance to interrupt • Respectful and affirming responses • Polite sounds indicate that others are listening • High considerateness for all involved

21. Rugby • High involvement of all participants • Loud talking at times • Noticeable changes in pitch and volume • Interruptions and abrupt shifts in topic • Very fast paced • Avoidance of pauses and silence

22. Basketball • American style of conversation • Steal the topic • Make your point • Hesitate • Wait for someone else to steal the ball back

23. Family Attitudes and Feelings that Undermine Quality Care

24. Conflicted feelings about leaving children in careFear of being displaced

25. Overprotective and competitive impulsesShyness or uncertainty about sharing private information

26. Caregiver and Director Attitudes and Practices that Undermine

27. Becoming attached to someone else’s child is wrongParent’s don’t care enoughCaregiving and parenting aren’t that differentA ‘businesslike’ distance is best

28. Single-age grouping • We’re not born in litters, why do we insist on educating in them? • *Lillian Katz

29. Frequent moves (to new classrooms)Multiple caregivers • Purse/wallet activity • Would you want to change your significant person in your life every few months? • Diary of an Infant

30. High Ratios and Group Sizes • Know DPW ratios and group sizes and be an advocate of those ratios.