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Vulnerability and Authenticity

Vulnerability and Authenticity. Owning our desires and being true to ourselves. Be a Person of Trust.

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Vulnerability and Authenticity

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  1. Vulnerability and Authenticity Owning our desires and being true to ourselves.

  2. Be a Person of Trust. • The most important part of all of this is YOU. Are you trustworthy? Can you be trusted to not glibly share someone else’s story and secrets in casual conversation? Every woman I know has been caught out blabbing someone else’s secrets at some point in her life. Has God done the work in you yet that you are a safe place? Each of our stories are sacred, and holy. Our pains and shame often go deep. It is a tremendous betrayal for us to tell someone else’s story to friend or family member. • Please be honest with yourself. If you are known as the town crier and tell others things that are not your business, please allow God to work on this in you first, before you join a workshop. We owe it to one another to respect the sanctity of each other’s story.

  3. Confidentiality • Our Group is Confidential and Anonymous. • Should you meet another member outside the group while with friends or family, it is important that you do not disclose how you are acquainted with one another. • Should you be asked, saying you know them “from church” is suggested. Since we are all the body of Christ and therefore “the church”, saying so is an appropriate and true response. • It is up to each individual if and when they want to publicly come “forward” to speak about abuse.

  4. Each person may “pass” if they do not want to talk, no questions asked.

  5. Be Sensitive Graphic or detailed depictions of actual sexual acts involving the abuse is not allowed. Abuse victims are often triggered by pornography, pornographic stories, and sexual details. Out of respect for one another, avoid explaining the nitty gritty details of each event of abuse.

  6. Vulnerability • Definition: capable of being physically or emotionally wounded. • Open to an attack. • Brene Brown’s definition : uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. 

  7. Authenticity • Definition of authentic • 1: not false or imitation: REAL, ACTUAL • 2: true to one's own personality, spirit, or character, is sincere and authentic with no pretensions

  8. As you process the following information take the time to share and ponder the questions.Are you always true to yourself?Do you let others in?Should you let others in?Do you know your wants and desires?

  9. What does vulnerability look like? • 1. Being able to communicate a full range of emotions in the appropriate situation. • 2. Asking for help. • 3. Verbalizing our weaknesses. • 4. Believing that the real you is enough. • 5. Allowing yourself to not be OKAY.

  10. Note the negative emotions on the next slide. 1.Which are you comfortable communicating? 2. Do you often minimize or exaggerate a particular emotion? 3. Do you have a default emotion like anger or sadness.

  11. What is Authenticity? • 1. Accepting yourself as you are…not the improved, idealized version. Not the thinner, fitter, funnier, cuter version… as you are, in this moment, and in every future moment. • God says we are perfect being made perfect. Hebrews 10 • 2. Say what you want. We might not get it, but we can still own it. • 3. Own your desire. What makes you jealous or envious? This can tell you what you desire. • 4. Love your quirks. • 5. Embrace your weaknesses.

  12. The Johari Windowhttp://changingminds.org/disciplines/communication/models/johari_window.htmWhen looking at these notice the size of the boxes. The size of the boxes indicate degrees of the true self. Note the balance in size.

  13. Authentic and Vulnerable (The Persona)The self shown to others is more the real self. What I show is the the “real” me.

  14. The Naïve Self I am basically not very self aware. I am immature in my self awareness. I might be unable to or not want to go there.

  15. The Secret Person Does not trust others or does not trust themselves to select trustworthy people.

  16. The Mysterious Person Doesn’t really know themselves. Does not know wants and desires.

  17. Does God want us Vulnerable? Authentic? • Do you believe that the more authentic you are the more joy you have? • What happens when we own our desires and say what we want and are not received? • Have you heard ? “You don’t really want.” “You don’t really mean.” “You are selfish to _____.” • What would happen if you said how you really feel? Who do you hold back with the most? Why?

  18. Giving Up Our Rights • Recognized that as we embrace greater authenticity and vulnerability our family systems may balk. The way we have functioned in our relationships has worked for them. • WE COMMUNICATE OUR TRUE THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, AND DESIRES FROM A POSISTION OF SAFETY. GOD HAS OUR BACK. • Not everyone will love and accept the “real you’. • Our wants and desires are neither good nor bad.

  19. Remember… • We give up our right to be understood. Christ was not understood. • We give up our right to be accepted. Christ was not accepted. • We give up our right to be liked. Christ was not always liked. • We give up our right to be validated. Christ was not validated.

  20. Authenticity and Vulnerability is a Choice. • 1. We choose. We need to decide how vested are in a relationship. We are not required to be vulnerable with everyone. • 2.If we desire true intimacy with another, we will choose to be vulnerable and authentic. • 3. There may be a cost. Others hearing our truth may make them have to face some uncomfortable truths themselves.

  21. Watch Video before Art Project • Materials • Pastel chalk • Paper • Pens and markers • Hair spray

  22. Watch the Video Session 4: Vulnerability and Authenticity. YouTube: Beloved from the Start Christine Turner Session 4: vulnerability and authenticity

  23. The facilitator will create a large pastel sun with multi-colored rays stretching from the image. Label each ray with a student’s name. • Use pastels to create rays of radiance. • Using pastels, symbolize your glory entwined with God’s Glory as you live as your authentic self. • List every positive trait you can think of about yourself. • Do you have any pains God is or can use for his glory in you? • Using string, connect each image to the center picture of God’s glory. Create a multi-framed picture demonstrating how our unique authentic selves connects with and reflects God’s glory.

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