It’s Not About Willpower: Make It a Habit!

1. It’s Not About Willpower: Make It a Habit! ARDSLEY WELLNESS FAIR Presented by: Dr. Caren Baruch-Feldman www.drbaruchfeldman.com

2. A Little Bit About Me Before After

3. Goals for Today 1. Review the latest research in habit building and willpower (based on 4 books). 2. Help you to develop your own positive, new habits. 3. Teach you the secrets of how to maintain these new habits by being more mindful and less impulsive.

4. Four Books Serve as Inspiration

5. The BAD News 1. Our brains are lazy. 2. Glucose which releases dopamine hijacks the brain. 3.Stress makes us more susceptible to fall into bad habits. 4. Willpower is a limited resource. 5. Glucose/sugar refuels willpower (ugh). 6. We tend to be short-term as opposed to long-term hedonists.

6. GOOD News 1. You can build those willpower muscles. 2. Since willpower is limited – need to make into a habit so willpower is not being used. 3. Pick gateway habits (write it down, meditation, and exercise). These types of habits build resistance muscles. 4. Develop beliefs that will inspire you, focusing on long term goals as opposed to the immediate gratification.

7. What the Research Tells Us In Terms of Changing A Habit • Change one habit at a time. • Wait 10 minutes. • Pre-commit. Makes it difficult to reverse your preferences. • Practice meditation (APPS = Take a Break; Mindfulness Meditation) • Get social support and make it public.

8. What You Can Do To Change a Habit Cont… • Be proactive. • Know your triggers. Don’t think you’ll outsmart old habits. Instead try to avoid them. • Make it easy to be good and hard to be bad. • Give yourself credit. • Takes at least 3 weeks, sometimes even longer to change a habit. • Change your outlook/thinking. Develop a new belief.

9. Changing a Habit is Not Enough: Need to Change the Belief • Stand firm. No wavering. • Remind yourself of the whole story, not just the beginning. • Stay away from- “what the heck phenomena”. • Stay away from thinking your are doing “good”. • “Your future self, is no better than your current self.” • Seek to be consistent.

10. Beliefs • What are your sabotaging beliefs? • What beliefs inspire you to meet your long- term goals? • Stand firm. • Remind yourself of the whole story, not just the beginning. • Stay away from - “what the heck phenomena”. • Stay away from - thinking your are doing “good”. • “Your future self, is no better than your current self.” • I will avoid, rather than think I have the willpower to overcome.

11. Response Card: Advantage Card • A response card is a tool that helps you change your mindset and overcome sabotaging thoughts. • Read the card everyday and when you are struggling with a craving, temptation, or sabotaging thought. • By reading everyday you make this into a habit. • Make your own Advantage Card. • My Advantage Card • I’ll look better. • I’ll be able to wear a smaller size. • I’ll be in better health. • I’ll feel better physically. • I’ll feel more in control.

12. Let’s Put Our Ideas Into Practice: “Change that Habit Form” BAD HABIT NEW, POSITIVE HABIT Write down one new habit that you would like to work on. What Is the cue, routine, and reward for the new habit? What is the new, rational belief? • Write down one bad habit that you would like to work on. • What is the cue,routine, and reward for this badhabit? • What is the sabotagingbelief?

13. Example of Bad Habit/Good Habit BAD HABIT NEW, POSITIVE HABIT New Habit? Staying calm when my husband gets annoyed about small things. 2. What Is the Cue, Routine, and Reward for the New Habit? Cue = Husband gets annoyed over a small thing. Routine = Sit with the feeling. Don’t try to be controlling and know it all. Reward = Better relationship with my husband. 3. New, Rational belief? My relationship with my husband is more important than being right. Thinking about the whole story, not just the beginning. 1. Bad Habit to Change? Getting frustrated with my husband when he gets annoyed about small things. 2. What Is the Cue,Routine, and Reward for this OldHabit? Cue = Husband gets annoyed over small things. Routine = I get frustrated that he is annoyed and show it on my face. Reward = Get it off my chest and feel superior. 3. Sabotaging Belief? I am right and he is being ridiculous.

14. Example of Bad Habit/Good Habit BAD HABIT NEW, POSITIVE HABIT What is the new habit ?Staying out of the kitchen after 9 pm. What is the cue, routine, and reward for the new habit? Cue = feeling entitled/craving Routine = go into bedroom and drink decaf coffee. Reward = continue to fit into my size 4 pants. 3. What is your new belief? “Nothing taste as good as thin feels”. I need to remember the whole story. Stand firm. 1. Bad habit to change? Eating cookies after 9pm. 2. What Is the cue,routine, and reward of this oldhabit? Cue = feeling entitled/craving. Routine = go into the kitchen for just 1 cookie, but eat many more. Reward = dopamine rush and pleasure from taste of cookie. 3. What is your sabotaging thought(s)? I am entitled. I have been so good. The cookies are so GOOD!!!

15. Response Card: Advantage Cards Advantage Card for Watching My Weight Advantage Card for Staying Calm with My Husband I’ll have a better relationship with my husband. Will be a good role model for my children. • I’ll look better. • I’ll be able to wear a smaller size. • I’ll be in better health. • I’ll feel better physically. • I’ll feel more in control.

16. What Strategies Will I Choose to Support My New Habit? 1. Gateway Habits (exercise and write it down)? ___ 2. Stand Firm? ___ 3. Meditate? ___ 4. Seek Social Support and/or Make It Public? ___ 5. Give Myself Credit? ___ 6. Change My Beliefs? ___ 7. Use an Advantage Card? ___ 8. Make It Easy to Follow My New Habit and Hard to Follow My Old One? ___ 9. All of the Above? ___

17. Summary • Willpower is a limited resource so make it a habit. • Be proactive, mindful, and avoid triggers. • Give yourself credit. Don’t put yourself down. • Develop beliefs that will inspire you. • Be mindful and reflective, focusing on the long term goals as opposed to the immediate rewards.