Dealing with Difficult People

1. Dealing with Difficult People

2. Communication Skills Choices When Dealing with People • Stay and do nothing • Leave • Change your attitude • Change yourbehavior

3. Communication Skills Principles of Effective Communication • Have a direction • Pay attention to the pattern of the communication • Be flexible • Commit to a solution

4. Influence Others and Maximize Results The Platinum Rule “Do unto others as they want to be done unto.”

5. Identify Your Communication Styleand Understand Others Task Focused Get It Right Get It Done Passive Aggressive Get Along Get Appreciated People Focused

6. Table Activity Identify Your Communication Type • Identify 2 strengths of that style • Identify 2 weaknesses of that style Be prepared to report out in 10 min

7. “Get It Done” Behavior Characteristics • Focus on tasks • Intend to “get it done” • Focused, direct, blunt • Communicate directly & to the point

8. “Get It Done” Strengths • Decisive • Get Things Done • Confident

9. “Get It Done” Weaknesses • Intimidate • Alienate people • Use force instead of cooperation

10. “Get It Done” When under pressure, “Get It Done” people tend to • Raise their voice • Bully & take pot shots at others • Behave arrogantly

11. “Get It Done” Don'ts • Spend too much time on one issue • Come in unprepared • Sit “on the fence” (“No” is acceptable) • Show a lack of focus

12. “Get It Done” Do’s • Get to the point • Businesslike approach • Be task-oriented • Understand and support their goals

13. Dealing with EXTREME“Get It Done” Behavior TANKS

14. Dealing with Extreme “Get It Done” Behavior Best Ways to Communicate Stand your ground: Hold your position • Tanks don’t stop for those they don’t respect • Might need to state “Excuse me I haven’t finished” to interrupt the interruptions • Be calm until tirade runs down Focus on the bottom line – look at the underlying problem Offer peace with honor

15. Dealing with Extreme “Get It Done” Behavior KNOW-IT-ALLS

16. Dealing with Extreme “Get It Done” Behavior Best Ways to Communicate • Know your stuff – be prepared if possible • Need to open your mind to new ideas with them • Backtrack with respect • Present alternative viewpoints indirectly – plant seeds since you can’t tell them what to do • Direct the “Know-It-All” into a mentoring opportunity

17. “Get It Right” Behavior Characteristics • Focus on tasks • Intend to “get it right” • Pay attention to details, think systematically • Need to be correct • Communicate indirectly and detailed

18. “Get It Right” Strengths • Accurate • Fact finder • Precise • Organized

19. “Get It Right” Weaknesses • Stubborn • Boring • Unimaginative • Change Stifler

20. “Get It Right” When Under Pressure (i.e. when not feeling like they are getting it right) “Get It Right” people tend to • Become silent • Flee or withdraw • Exhibit negative behavior

21. Don’ts Show lack of attention to detail Be inconsistent Be disorganized Be overly emotional Do’s Know your stuff Schedule time – make an appointment Use facts, logic, structure Proceed step-by-step “Get It Right”

22. Dealing with Extreme“Get It Right” Behavior NO PEOPLE

23. Dealing with Extreme“Get It Right” Behavior Best Ways to Communicate • Let them voice concerns and use them as a resource • Clarify to reduce generalizations

24. Dealing with Extreme“Get It Right” Behavior COMPLAINERS

25. Dealing with Extreme “Get It Right” Behavior Best Ways to Communicate • Listen carefully to their areas for concern • Direct efforts toward a solution • Move them into the “problem-solving” mode step-by-step • Provide information that answers “who, what, where, why and how”

26. “Get Appreciated” Behavior Characteristics • Focus on people • Intend to “get appreciated” • Display creativity, warmth, charisma, and energy • Communicate directly and elaborately

27. Strengths People-oriented Persuasive Verbal skills Optimistic Weaknesses Egotistical Lack follow through Flakey Disorganized “Get Appreciated”

28. “Get Appreciated” When “Under Pressure” • Talk more loudly and quickly • Throw tantrums • Exaggerate

29. “Get Appreciated” Don’ts • Be rigid in thinking (these are free spirits!) • Show a lack of challenge • Give too many details • Follow the rules blindly

30. “Get Appreciated” Do’s • Allow flexibility • Be enthusiastic • Let them talk • Use demonstrations (visual people)

31. Dealing with Extreme“Get Appreciated” Behavior THINK THEY KNOW-IT-ALL PEOPLE

32. Dealing with Extreme“Get Appreciated” Behavior Best Ways to Communicate • Ask for specifics • Tell it like it is • Give credit when due • Give them an out • Use third-party documentation

33. “Get Along” Behavior Characteristics • Focus on people • Intend to “get along” • Behave in an agreeable, personable, friendly, caring and helpful manner • Need to be liked • Communicate indirectly and considerately

34. Strengths Likeable Loyal Team Player Patient Weaknesses Indecisive Waste Time Overly Emotional Illogical Decisions “Get Along”

35. “Get Along” When “Under Pressure” • Submit • Accommodate • Exhibit passive-aggressive behavior

36. “Get Along” Don’ts • Ignore feelings • Force a decision • Be too intense or formal • Threaten • Fail to recognize the “people” aspect

37. “Get Along” Do’s • Be casual and sincere • Slow down and listen • Make honesty safe • Set goals • Build it up – strengthen the relationship

38. Dealing with Extreme“Get Along” Behavior “YES” PEOPLE

39. Dealing with Extreme“Get Along” Behavior Best Ways to Communicate • Encourage honesty • Make honesty safe • Assist in making realistic commitments • Ensure commitments – may need a little micro-managing • Strengthen the relationship – need people/people time

40. Dealing with Difficult Behavior Activity Volunteer – 1 per table Your team is in charge of planning the next Annual State Meeting 10 min to plan the “ideal” day