Section 17 Writing Improvement Program (WIP) Meeting #2

1. Section 17Writing Improvement Program(WIP)Meeting #2 Your Hosts Gary Hobin, DJIMO and Team 17 Faculty

2. Substance

3. Why Do Field Grade Officers Write? • “Because I have to.” • Solving a problem. • Analyzing a situation. • Developing arguments based on evidence. • Informing a specific audience. • Answering a specific question.

4. What is substance? • Content of the essay: what have you written that’s worth time reading? • Clearly stated thesis in introductory paragraph. • implied thesis not recommended; be explicit in purpose. • Supporting paragraphs back up thesis. • Essay -- original, critical, thoughtfully logical. • Provides adequate evidence for each supporting point (statistical, anecdotal, authoritative). • Recognizes; effectively addresses position likely argued by critics. • Essay stands on its own -- accessible to audience.

5. SUBSTANCE • Answers the Question!!! • Be sure you understand the question you are being asked to answer. • If/when in doubt – ASK!!!

6. SUBSTANCE • Coherence: • Linking ideas and information. • Unity: • Controlling ideas. • Thesis for essay; topic sentences for paragraphs. • Evidence: • Facts and opinions in support. • Logic: • Systematic flow of the essay.

7. SUBSTANCE • Content. • Ideas! Ideas! Ideas! • Are they logically presented? • Analysis. • What evidence supports your opinion? • Have you ignored important considerations? • Are you assuming agreement? • Have you considered alternate perspectives?

8. Coherence and Unity • Linkages and controlling ideas. • How does the writer express ideas? • What are the linkages between ideas? • Is there a controlling idea underlying the presentation?

9. Thesis Statement • Provides reader with central idea of your essay. • States your position (e.g. for or against). • Indicates general direction of your argument. • Is a complete sentence.

10. What is a Sentence? • A group of related words that expresses a complete thought. (P-H Handbook, page 4) • Consists of SUBJECT and PREDICATE. • Bulleted comments are (usually) NOT sentences. • Why is this of concern?

11. Sentences • Why should we be concerned about using complete sentences? • CLARITY! • CLARITY! • CLARITY!

12. Opening Statement-Attention Step Thesis Statement ID Major Points Critical Elements of an Argumentative Essay I. Introduction: At least one paragraph Transition (logical process) Logical, orderly progress to next part II. Main Body: 2-5 paragraphs to develop your supporting major points; each contains 2-5 pieces of evidence and analysis of this evidence Major Point 1 Evidence 1A, B… Analysis of… Transition (logical process) Major Point 2 Evidence 2A, B… Analysis of… From your analysis, tie the keypoints-ideas together that support the thesis. Transition (logical process) Thesis Restatement Address Analysis of Closing Statement III. Conclusion: At least one paragraph

13. Thesis Statement Development • Thesis establishes single, controlling idea of your persuasive paper. • Tells audience why topic demands attention; gives reader clear idea of topic and direction of paper. • Conveys writer’s purpose and position; drives what is and is not included in paper. “A carefully stated thesis introduces and summarizes the entire paper.” P-H “This is the most important element of your writing.” ST 22-2

14. Thesis Statement Example #1 “A strong thesis takes some sort of stand and makes an assertion…” Example 1: A few years of enlisted service can be both positive and negative for an officer. This is a weak thesis. First, it fails to take a stand. Second, the phrase “positive and negative” is vague. Example #2: The Army should require all officers to serve two years in the enlisted ranks prior to commissioning. This is a stronger thesis. It takes a stand and makes a specific assertion. This statement gives a specific subject and a direction for the paper.

15. Thesis Statement Example #2 “A strong thesis justifies further reading by the audience…” Example #1: My family is an extended family. This is a weak thesis. It only states an observation. Your reader won’t be able to determine the point of your statement. Example #2: While many Americans view blood-related marriage as a threat to the nuclear family structure, many other cultures believe that these marriages help reinforce kinship ties in an extended family. This is a stronger thesis. Assuming you have completed your initial research, it indicates your supporting data contradicts a widely-accepted view within the U.S. If you show the topic to be controversial, readers will be interested in reading the rest of the paper to see how you support your point.

16. Thesis Statement Example #3 “A strong thesis statement is specific…” Note: A thesis statement should show exactly what your paper will be about, and will help you keep your paper to a manageable topic. For example, if you write a paper on hunger, you might say: Example #1: World hunger has many causes and effects. This is a weak thesis statement for two main reasons. First, the subject of world hunger cannot be fully analyzed and discussed in a short, 3-5 page paper. Second, "many causes and effects" is very vague. You should be able to identify specific causes and effects. Example #2: Hunger persists in Ethiopia because of farming in both infertile soil and near drought conditions. This is a much stronger thesis. It narrows the subject to a more specific and manageable locale, and it also identifies the specific causes for the existence of hunger in that locale.

17. Your Turn to Work Draft an initial Thesis Statement for an argumentative essay on the following topic: Should the Army retain the M9? In groups of three, using the white boards. Take five minutes.

18. Evidence • Providing facts and opinions (backed by facts). • Fact: verifiable occurrence or experience. • Opinion: trusted judgment, believed to be reliable due to source. (NOT necessarily the writer’s opinion here.) • Supporting your argument (position) as completely as possible.

19. Logic • Organizing ideas to support conclusions. • Deductive reasoning: • Starts with theory (“the world will end in 2012”). • Theory – hypothesis – observation – confirmation. • Inductive reasoning: • Starts with observation (“there are fewer leopard frogs in North American ponds this year”). • Observation – pattern – hypothesis – theory. • Logical Fallacy – sounds logical but isn’t.

20. Your Turn to Work • Draft an OUTLINE for an argumentative essay. • Use the initial THESIS STATEMENT you drafted earlier. • Include at least THREE main points. • Indicate the EVIDENCE you will use to support your argument. • Show the LOGICAL FLOW of your argument. • This time: ten minutes.

21. Writing Improvement • “Substance:” an evaluation criteria. • Coherence: links between ideas. • Unity: controlling thoughts. • A good sentence and its importance. • Thesis statement. • Evidence. • Logic • Questions? • Until next week . . .