chapter 8

1. CHAPTER 8 Close Relationships: Family, Friends, Lovers, and Spouses

3. Attachment Style During interactions between infant and its primary caregiver: the child develops congnitions centering on two crucial �working models� Self-esteem Interpersonal Trust

4. Interpersonal Trust A dimension involving one�s belief that other people are trustworthy, dependable, and reliable or that they are untrustworthy, undependable, and unreliable

5. Bowlby�s Three Types of Attachment Style Secure Insecure-Avoidant Insecure Ambivalent

6. Importance of Other Interactions Between Parents and Offspring Puberty As life expectancy increases

7. Relationships Between and Among Siblings Mixed feelings Affectionate relationship likely when� Why are sibling relationships important? Middle age types of sibling relationships caretaker buddy casual loyal

8. Relationships Beyond Family Close friendship Childhood friends Attachment styles and childhood friendships The development of close friendships in adolescence and adulthood

9. Effects of Attachment Style on Adult Relationships College age adults

10. Two Basic Dimensions Underlying Adult Interactions Self-Evaluation (positive and negative Person�s evaluation of others Person with: positive self image negative self image positive image of other people negative image of other people

11. Four Attachment Styles Secure Attachment Fearful-Avoidant Preoccupied Dismissing

12. Secure Attachment Style Positive about self and other people seek interpersonal closeness and feel comfortable in relationships express trust in their partners The only people able to form long lasting, committed, and satisfying relationships.

13. Fearful-Avoidant Low self esteem low interpersonal trust Described as an insecure and maladaptive style of attachment Avoids interpersonal closeness Less intimacy and enjoyment in interacting with opposite sex

14. Preoccupied Low self-esteem High interpersonal trust Strongly desires a close relationship, but feels unworthy of the partner vulnerable to being rejected. Based on inconsistent self-other images

15. Dismissing High self-esteem low interpersonal trust conflict: individual feels they �deserve� a close relationship, but mistrusts potential partners Is likely to reflect another person to avoid being the one who is rejected

16. Loneliness The unhappy emotional and cognitive state that results from desiring close relationships but being unable to attain them. Discrepancy between what a person wants, and the reality of their interpersonal life. Prefer to be lonely Lack of reciprocity

17. Consequences of Loneliness Lonely people are maladjusted have few dates have only casual friends suffer from depression, anxiety, unhappiness, self-blame, and shyness

18. How Does Loneliness Develop? Culture Attachment Style Childhood Personal Negativity: a general tendency to be unhappy and dissatisfied with oneself Social Phobia: a debilitating anxiety disorder in which an individual perceives interpersonal situations as frightening and thus avoids them in order to guard against embarrassment and humiliation

19. What can you do to fix loneliness? Cognitive Therapy Social Skills Training

20. Romantic Relationships Focus on heterosexual Physical intimacy

21. Similarities Between Close Friendships and Romantic Relationships Attachment Styles Physical Proximity

22. Differences Between Close Friendships and Romantic Relationships The first move Want acceptance Vs accuracy in the beginning Use of deception View of relationship Sexual motivation Baby talk

23. What is Love? Love: a combination of emotions, cognitions, and behaviors that can be involved in intimate relationships An emotion can lead to increase in self-efficacy and self-esteem Simple friendship, progressed to romance and sexual interest

24. Passionate Love Vs Close Friendship No one says they have fallen in friendship Passionate love: An intense and often unrealistic emotional response to another person. PL occurs suddenly Seen to the person experiencing it as �true love� where others would say �infatuation�

25. Liking, Loving, and Being In Love Can you differentiate between these three? Decline of three relationships liking: decrease dues to negative behavior of other person love: destroyed when other person abuses the trust that existed out of love: when they became disillusioned with the other person

26. Unrequited Love One-way flow of love You love someone who does not love you 60% of people said they have had this experience within the past 2 years Men Vs women Guilt on one end, loss of self esteem on the other Insecure-ambivalent attachment: more likely to experience this kind of love

27. Falling In Love Passionate love Sexual attraction: Necessary but not enough Stranger example Three circumstances to fall in love

28. Three Circumstances to Fall In Love Exposure throughout life to romantic images An appropriate love object Two-factor theory of emotion

29. Other Forms of Love Companionate Love Hendrick and Hendrick (1986) Sternberg�s Triangular Model of Love (1986)

30. Companionate Love Love that is based on friendship, mutual attraction, common interests, mutual respect and concern for each other�s happiness and welfare Likely to last long and survive inspection Based on very close friendship How we feel about those with who our lives are entwined

31. Hendrick & Hendrick (1986) Four additional �love styles� Gender differences Men embrace both passionate love and game-playing love more than women Women embrace companionate love (storage), logical love, and possessive love

32. Sternberg�s Triangular Model of Love There are three basic components of love relationships intimacy: extent of bonding passion:sexual motives and excitement decision/commitment:decision to love an commit These three basic components are present in varying degrees for different couples When all components are there�it will last If components are strong and equally balanced, the result is consummate love

33. Sociosexuality A dispositional characteristic that ranges from an unrestricted orientation (willingness to engage in casual sexual interactions) to a restricted orientation (willingness to engage in sex only with emotional closeness and commitment). Restricted Unrestricted Gender Differences Attachment style differences

34. Changes in Sexual Attitudes and Behavior Sexual Revolution Oral Sex Universal? Sociosexuality Gender Differences

35. Gender Differences in Changes in Sexual Attitudes and Behavior Sexual Revolution Premarital Sex Intimacy Initiation Token resistance Want and have (#) How long do you have to know someone? Once involved

36. Premarital Sex and Marriage What is the effect? Sexual history and marital success

37. Is the Sexual Revolution Over? Permissive sexuality as a solution Was sex always a personal decision? Two consequences of sex

38. Similarity and Marriage Similarity over the course of a marriage. Two problems with similarity that are overlooked.

39. Marital Sex, Love, and Parenthood Sexual interaction Passionate love, companionate love, and marital satisfaction Parenthood and marital satisfaction

40. Marriage Versus Single Married pole Differences � not so great anymore? Why?

41. Problems of Marriages: Why They Fail Stats Compromise vs. Independence, conflict No one is perfect Unrealistic fantasies Disenchantment Costs vs. Benefits Difference in conflict managment

42. Problems of Marriages: Why They Fail War of the Roses Sporting event Boredom Major problem later in life Affect

43. When a Relationship Fails How do people feel? How do different genders cope? How do people respond to dissatisfaction? Active Exit Voice Passive Loyalty Neglect

44. What Does a Successful Marriage Involve? Emphasis on Friendship Commitment Similarity Efforts to create positive affect Older couples vs. Younger couples

45. Discussion Points Is the sexual revolution over? Should marriages be arranged? Sexual jealously versus emotional jealousy?