Writing art, design & architecture

Writing art, design & architecture Aalto University School of Arts, Design and Architecture

Session 11 • Homework: Your Visual Analysis Draft (400-450 words). Include two citations (quotation, summary and/or paraphrase) with a reference (reporting verb(s)) to your Visual Analysis. • Peer editing Visual Analyses for content • Peer editing Visual Analyses for readability & sentence variety • A few comma exercises if time • Applying these rules to your own Visual Analysis 3/30/15 2

Peer editing your neighbor’s Visual Analysis Read through your partner’s text and try to find the answer to the following questions: Which sentences provide a description of the object? Which sentences describe the technique(s) used to create it? Which sentences offer an interpretation of the meaning or intention of the painting? Which sentences include an evaluation of the work? 3/30/15 3

Peer editing your neighbor’s Visual Analysis • Pay attention to the paragraph construction >Does each paragraph contain one central idea? • Does the text develop an argument (based on observation and evaluation of the object)? • Have both a) descriptive language of formal observation and b) more speculative phrases been used? • Are (enough) transition signals used? Are the ideas well connected? Does the text have a flow? 3/30/15 4

Peer editing your neighbor’s Visual Analysis for readability & sentence variety 1/3 • Have the following readibility principles been followed? • What sort of info appears in the subject position (before the verb)? • Is it GIVEN or NEW info? • How many units of information come before the verb in your sentences? • How could you make the subject of the sentences lighter and have the verb early in the sentences (if need be)? 3/30/15 5

Peer editing your neighbor’s Visual Analysis for readability & sentence variety 2/3 • 3. Are weak verbs (to be, make, get, have) over-used? • What action are the sentences describing? Is the action hiding in a noun? • 4. Are all of your sentences similar in structure? • Any way you would like to increase your sentence variety in your Visual Analysis? • See the handout ‘Some strategies for sentence variety’ in Mycourses, Session 6. 3/30/15 6

Peer editing your neighbor’s Visual Analysis for readability & sentence variety 3/3 • 5. Are citations/ reporting verbs used? • Add a citation (quotation or paraphrase) with a reference to your Visual Analysis. 3/30/15 7

Basics of punctuation: Comma abuse 1/4. Don't use a comma to separate the subject from the verb. INCORRECT: An eighteen-year old in California, is now considered an adult. INCORRECT: The most important attribute of a ball player, is quick reflex actions. 3/30/15 8

Basics of punctuation: Comma abuse 2/4. Don't put a comma between the two verbs or verb phrases in a compound predicate. INCORRECT: We laid out our music and snacks, and began to study. INCORRECT: I turned the corner, and ran smack into a patrol car. 3/30/15 9

Basics of punctuation: Comma abuse 3/4. Don't put a comma between the two nouns, noun phrases, or noun clauses in a compound subject or compound object. INCORRECT (compound subject): The music teacher from your high school, and the football coach from mine are married. INCORRECT (compound object): Jeff told me that the job was still available, and that the manager wanted to interview me. 3/30/15 10

Basics of punctuation: Comma abuse 4/4. Don't put a comma after the main clause when a dependent (subordinate) clause follows it (except for cases of extreme contrast). INCORRECT: The cat scratched at the door, while I was eating. CORRECT: She was still quite upset, although she had won the Oscar. (This comma use is correct because it is an example of extreme contrast) 3/30/15 11

Basics of punctuation • 1/11.Use commas to separate independent clauses when they are joined by any of these seven coordinating conjunctions: and, but, for, or, nor, so, yet. • The game was over, but the crowd refused to leave. • Yesterday was her brother's birthday, so she took him out to dinner. 3/30/15 12

Basics of punctuation • 2/11. Use commas after introductory • clauses, • While I was eating, the cat scratched at the door. • b) phrases • Having finished the test, he left the room. • c) and words that come before the main clause. • However, you may not be satisfied with the results. 3/30/15 13

Basics of punctuation • 3/11. Use a pair of commas in the middle of a sentence to set off clauses, • That Tuesday, which happens to be my birthday,is the only day when I am available to meet. • phrases, • This restaurant has an exciting atmosphere. The food, on the other hand, is rather bland. • and words that are not essential to the meaning of the sentence. • I appreciate your hard work. In this case, however,you seem to have over-exerted yourself. • Use one comma before to indicate the beginning of the pause and one at the end to indicate the end of the pause. 3/30/15 14

Basics of punctuation • 4/11. Do not use commas to set off essential elements of the sentence, such as clauses beginning with that (relative clauses). • That clauses after nouns are always essential. • The book that I borrowed from you is excellent. • That clauses following a verb expressing mental action are always essential. • He is dreaming that he can fly. 3/30/15 15

Basics of punctuation • 5/11. Use commas to separate three or more words, phrases, or clauses written in a series. • The candidate promised to lower taxes, protect the environment, reduce crime, and end unemployment. 3/30/15 16

Basics of punctuation • 6/11. Use commas to separate two or more coordinate adjectives that describe the same noun. • Be sure never to add an extra comma between the final adjective and the noun itself or to use commas with non-coordinate adjectives. • He was a difficult, stubborn child. (coordinate) • They lived in a white frame house. (non-coordinate) 3/30/15 17

Basics of punctuation • 7/11. Use a comma near the end of a sentence to separate contrasted coordinate elements or to indicate a distinct pause or shift. • He was merely ignorant, not stupid. • You're one of the senator's close friends, aren't you? 3/30/15 18

Basics of punctuation • 8/11. Use commas to set off phrases at the end of the sentence that refer to the beginning or middle of the sentence. • Such phrases are free modifiers that can be placed anywhere in the sentence without causing confusion. (If the placement of the modifier causes confusion, then it is not "free" and must remain "bound" to the word it modifies.) • Nancy waved enthusiastically at the docking ship, laughing joyously. (correct) • INCORRECT:Lisa waved at Nancy, laughing joyously. (Who is laughing, Lisa or Nancy?) 3/30/15 19

Basics of punctuation 9/11. Use commas to set off all geographical names, items in dates (except the month and day), addresses (except the street number and name), and titles in names. July 22, 1959, was a momentous day in his life. Who lives at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, DC? 3/30/15 20

Basics of punctuation 10/11. Use a comma to shift between the main discourse and a quotation. "I was able," she answered, "to complete the assignment." 3/30/15 21

Basics of punctuation 11/11. Use commas wherever necessary to prevent possible confusion or misreading. To George, Harrison had been a sort of idol. 3/30/15 22

Useful Links for Referencing There are several styles of referencing. It is best to choose ONE and then keep to it. Below are 2 of the most popular styles. Chicago Manual of Style: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/717/03/ Harvard Style: http://libweb.anglia.ac.uk/referencing/harvard.htm

Homework for tonight: Email your Visual Analysis Draft to me by tonight! Teacher comments available tomorrow. 2. Uploadyourfinaldraft to Session 12 on MycoursesbySundayApril 1st! NOTE. ALL YOUR FINAL DRAFTS NEED TO BE ON MYCOURSES! 3/30/15 24

Writing art, design & architecture