UW Early Learning Conference: Parenting to Promote Child Well-being

1. Center for CCF W Child and Family Well-being UW Early Learning Conference:Parenting to Promote Child Well-being Department of Psychology

2. UW Early Learning Conference:Parenting to Promote Child Well-being • Many sources of parenting knowledge and tools • Own wisdom or intuitions about your children • Respected and valued elders • Church and community leaders • Trusted experts • Oprah • Research provides objective and unbiased information • Incorporate research-based knowledge in parenting tool-kit

3. UW Early Learning Conference:Parenting to Promote Child Well-being • 10:00 Nature and Nurturing: Parenting with Children's Temperament Styles in Mind - Liliana Lengua • 11:00 Strategies That Work: How to Promote Children's Best Behavior and Effectively Manage the Less-than-Best - Suzanne Kerns • 12:00 Lunch • 1:00 Emotion Coaching Can Facilitate Children's Well-being - Lynn Fainsilber-Katz • 2:00 Mindfulness: Cultivating Greater Awareness of Self, Children and Our Relationship with Them - Rebecca Cortes & Yaffa Maritz • 3:00 Mastery Approach to Parenting in Sports: Developing Champions in Sports and in Life - Frank Smoll • 4:00 Networking and Questions

4. Nature & Nurturing: Parenting with Your Child’s Temperament Style in Mind Liliana J. Lengua Center for Child & Family Well-being Department of Psychology University of Washington

5. What is Temperament? • Children respond differently to parenting. • Parents respond differently to their children. • What works best with which kids?

6. Child Temperament • Individual differences in emotional reactions & regulation of emotions • Physiologically based • Inherited (genetically based) • Formed by experience • Present at birth, but changes over time

7. Child Temperament • Models that are very broad: • “Difficult Temperament” • “Spirited Child” • Models that are very specific: • Inhibited/uninhibited • Sensation seeking

8. Physiological Model of Temperament

9. Autonomic Nervous System Parasympathetic System Sympathetic System Threat or Challenge Nonemergency Recover, Rest & Digest Fight or Flight

10. Autonomic Nervous System Sympathetic System Parasympathetic System Threat or Challenge Nonemergency Fight or Flight Recover, Rest & Digest Behavioral Activation System: Approach Desire Frustration Behavioral Inhibition System: Withdrawal Self-protection Fear BAS BIS

11. BAS>BIS caution assess attack excitement seek guidance fun threat ignore instructions new friends strangers careful charge thrill rejection plan opportunity

12. BAS<BIS caution assess attack excitement seek guidance fun threat ignore instructions new friends strangers careful charge thrill rejection plan opportunity

13. BAS>BIS vs. BAS<BIS • Approach • Reward oriented • Impulsive “Go, pursue, obtain.” • Pleasure, delight, hope • Easily frustrated & angry • Inhibited • Threat oriented • Cautious,Withdrawn “Stop, look, listen, & be careful.” • Easily frightened or anxious

14. Physiological Model of Temperament • Individual differences in: • Reactivity • Frustration/anger (BAS) • Impulsivity (BAS) • Fearfulness (BIS) • Regulation • Ability to recover • Effortful Control

15. Effortful Control

16. Easily Frustrated Children (BAS) “It’s time to leave.” “No! I don’t want to.” “Please don’t make this difficult!” “You’re so mean!” “Why is it always like this with you!”

17. Frustrated, Angry (BAS) • Children respond differently to parents: • Quick to anger, argumentative. • More oppositional and aggressive. • Parents respond differently to children: • Increasing harsh, negative & frustrated responses. • Decreasing consistency and reasoning. • What works best? • Build positive, warm relationship. • Be calm! Don’t engage with anger. • Be consistent: predictability helps.

18. Impulsive Children (BAS) “Hey, the rule is you have to stay on the path!” “Let’s stick together & stay on the path.” “Come back here! I asked you to stay close!” “That’s not safe. You need to stop now!”

19. Impulsive Children (BAS)

20. Impulsive (BAS) • Children respond differently to parents: • Don’t seem to remember or learn from previous experience; don’t seem to listen. • More likely to be “disobedient” or get in problem situations. • More responsive to positive, reward than negative, punishment. • Parents respond differently to children: • Increasing harsh, negative & frustrated responses. • Decreasing consistency and reasoning. • What works best? • Build positive, warm relationship. • Be calm but quick! Have a cue or code word for “stop”. • Be consistent: predictability helps.

21. Fearful, Inhibited Children (BIS) “Do you want to join the party or stay here with me?” “You’re in! Get in there now! No backing out and no crying!”

22. Fearful, Inhibited (BIS) • Children respond differently to parents: • Concerned about parents displeasure or anger. • More compliant and cooperative • Unless they are afraid or nervous… • Until they are pre-adolescents/adolesents… • Parents respond differently to children: • More sensitive, responsive, and warm • Over-protectiveness or solicitousness sustains child fear • Harsh or insensitive parenting increases anxiety, depression, and oppositional behaviors • What works best? • Balance of sensitivity and encouraging independence. • Gentle encouragement of feared activities or contexts.

23. Summary • Temperament is individual differences in reactivity & self-regulation: • Fearful/anxious • Frustration • Impulsivity • Recovery • Effortful Control • Physiologically based • Inherited • Formed by experience

24. Summary • Easily frustrated and impulsive children: • Build positive relationship • Be consistent • Clear expectations and contingencies • Parents - Stop, calm down and think! • Fearful, anxious children: • Balance warmth and sensitivity with encouraging independence

25. Acknowledgements Colleagues: Mark Greenberg, Phil Fisher, Craig Colder Graduate Students: Nicki Bush, Lara Embry, Stephanie Fengler, Cara Kiff, Erika Kovacs, Anna Long, Lyndsey Moran, Connie Meza, Anika Trancik, Maureen Zalewski Funding: NICHD (R01 HD054465), NIMH (R29 MH57703), UW Center for Mind, Brain & Learning-Talaris Research Institute, & the UW Royalties Research Fund “Temperament Lab” at Home

26. Questions from the audience?