ELIMINATING VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN: WHAT MEN & BOYS CAN DO

1. ELIMINATING VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN: WHAT MEN & BOYS CAN DO Presented @ 2-Day Workshop on Male Involvement in Eliminating Violence Against Women, Marian Hotel , Calabar, May 26-27, 2008

2. Introduction • There are several roles men and boys can play to eliminate violence against women in the society. • Already there are some men who are against violence against women and young girls. However, they are not speaking out publicly. • Thus we need to not only get men involved, but also expand the number of men actively taking action in their communities to end violence against women.

3. What Men/Boys Can Do Men and boys can do one or more of the following: • Working on themselves • Serving as a mentor or a good role model • Taking Action as a neighbour/friend/bystander • Men/boys as an Allies

4. Working on Themselves • This is the foundation. Charity they say begins at home. • Behavioural change should start at home, within the family. This is because you can not offer what you do not have. Men and boys should start asking themselves the following questions: “how do I treat the immediate people (women/girls) around me – mother, mother-in-law, wife, sister, daughter, niece?”

5. Working on Themselves Cont’d “Am I in any way controlling, manipulative or abusive?” • This is a process of self reflection and asking the question: “what they as men can do to change societal attitudes and behavioural patterns”

6. Serving as a Mentor or Good Role Model • Serving as a mentor or a good role model, is a vital and effective way men and young boys can preach the message of stopping violence against women/young girls. • Role models set examples for others to emulate. Thus a man and young boy who exhibits respect for the bodily integrity of young girls, and non violent options for resolving a conflict with the feminine gender, can influence those around him positively.

7. Serving as a Mentor Cont’d • Mentors are also role models, as people look up to them. They are fathers, uncles, bosses, coaches, community leaders, religious leaders etc.

8. Taking Action as a Neighbour/Friend/Bystander • A bystander can be anybody – neighbour, friend, classmate, co-worker , teammate or even someone unknown to you. • As a bystander you are not the target of the violent act, but you are affected by the violence, because you happen to be close to the site of occurrence. • Often times men witness acts of violence against women both in public and private places.

9. Taking Action as a Neighbour/Friend/Bystander Cont’d • By speaking out against violence against women/young girls as a bystander, men/young boys are saying it is a socially unacceptable behaviour. • They are saying, the victims doesn’t have to be my sister, friend or neighbour, before I condemn her victimization. • Men/young boys as bystanders, can prevent, interrupt or intervene in abusive situations.

10. Men as Allies • Men can serve very well in this capacity, because of the several privileges they have in society. Particularly because of their numerical strength in positions of authority – public life and decision making – men can influence policy and legislative changes, that can curb gender-based violence.

11. Men as Allies Cont’d • Men and young boys who ally with women to eliminate violence against women, recognize the numerous benefits of gender and social equality in their own lives, and the lives of women around them such as their mothers, daughters, sisters, wives and colleagues.

12. Strategies for Male Involvement Strategies for increasing men’s involvement in eliminating violence against women include: • 1. Present men as potential partners capable of playing a positive role in eliminating violence against women. • 2. Support men to recognize and address violence on women close to them. • 3. Create opportunities for men to learn the skills necessary to eliminate violence in women.

13. Strategies for Male Involvement Cont’d • Encourage men to play active roles in the elimination of violence against women in the following ways: • play important role in re-enforcing positive social norms • regard violence on any person as barbaric and inhuman not withstanding whether the person is related to you or not • Gain support of family members to destroy out-dated and oppressive culture values • Providing succour and justice to abused/violated women

14. Strategies for Male Involvement Cont’d • Build partnerships with support groups for abuse women especially in the area of Advocacy and social justice. • 6. Promote activities across the spectrum of prevention of VAW (SPECTRUM OF CHANGED e.g promoting community education, strengthening individual knowledge and skills, educating rights keepers, fostering coalition and network, community mobilization, financial access to justice, in fluency policy legislation

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