What’s Your Intimacy IQ?

1. What’s Your IntimacyIQ?

2. Question #1 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • Do you enjoy people with notably unique personalities very different from yours?

3. Question #2 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • Do you find it hard to tell whether the person you’re with is having a good time?

4. Question #3 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • How sorry do you feel on hearing that someone is hurt, upset, in trouble or worried?

5. Question #4 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • How happy do you feel when told that something good or exciting has happened to someone?

6. Question #5 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • Do you talk about your real feelings with people you care about?

7. Question #6 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • Have you been told in some way that your behavior or reactions could be more mature?

8. Question #7 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • Do you try to help someone feel less embarrassed, such as by sharing a similarly embarrassing experience of yours?

9. Question #8 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • How much do you complain?

10. Question #9 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • Would it bother you if someone you were dating seriously, continued a main hobby or interest that you considered dumb or a waste of time?

11. Question #10 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • While disagreeing, do you put the other person’s needs before your preferences or consider how you might both get what you want?

12. Question #11 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • How often have you unintentionally embarrassed someone or hurt someone’s feelings?

13. Question #12 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • When you’re used to doing things a certain way, does it bother you to have to change and do them differently?

14. Question #13 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • Should someone who deeply cares about you be able to understand your feelings and needs without you having to explain them?

15. Question #14 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • When alone, do you spend your leisure time imaginatively or creatively, such as by making things or playing music?

16. Question #15 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • Do you feel uncomfortable around other people?

17. Question #16 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • Do you give others the impression that you’re somewhat aloof, distant or disinterested?

18. Question #17 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • Have you felt younger students or children shouldn’t have privileges you didn’t have at that age?

19. Question #18 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • When working with a group, do you usually volunteer to be responsible for a task?

20. Question #19 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • Have others confided in you about their problems because they felt you’d understand?

21. Question #20 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • Does it bother you that teachers differ in homework, grading or classroom behavior policies?

22. Question #21 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • When choosing a gift for someone you know well, do you usually know what the person likes?

23. Question #22 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • When facing a difficult personal problem, do you ask others for advice?

24. Question #23 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • Do you convert awkward or embarrassing situations into enjoyable ones?

25. Question #24 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • Do you give in to others or let them have their way so they’ll think better of you?

26. Question #25 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • Do you think you’re too assertive, aggressive, nosy or abrupt with people?

27. Question #26 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • Do you get upset when little things go wrong or don’t turn out as you wanted?

28. Question #27 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • Are others able to open up and share their feelings with you?

29. Question #28 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • If your spouse continued enjoying a certain sport/activity once a week but you chose not to participate, would you feel left out?

30. Question #29 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • When others feel uneasy or uptight, do you usually help them feel more at ease or relaxed?

31. Question #30 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • How hard is it for you to talk about your deeper thoughts and feelings honestly and seriously with someone you trust?

32. SCORING… • For questions: 2,6,8,9, 11-13, 15-17, 20, 24-26, 28, 30 • Give yourself points: • A=5 • B=4 • C=3 • D=2 • E=1 • F=0 • For questions: 1, 3-5, 7, 10, 14, 18, 19, 21-23, 27, 29 • Give yourself points: • A=0 • B=1 • C=2 • D=3 • E=4 • F=5